FAIL FRIDAY: Everyday is April Fools for TFM Intern
14 years ago

Why? Because it’s the anthem, and if I have to read these submissions, you have to listen to the goddamn anthem. SING IT:

Eleven real submissions, four photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Being a straight guy on the college cheer team. TFM.
-New Mexico

Good for you. Make sure you keep those spirit fingers extra hetero.

Woke up to eggs drenched in hot sauce. FM. Eating them off her chest. TFM.
-Michigan

Why dirty a plate when you can use her flat chest?

Using slampiece tears as anal lubricant. TFM.
-Virginia

For the love of God…not ok, man. Not ok.

As I get older my shorts will get shorter and my balls will hang lower. I think you see where this is going. TFM.
-Florida

This ends with your children no longer bringing your grandchildren over for Thanksgiving. Eventually they won’t show for Christmas, and then they’ll disown you altogether. Also, your balls will be taking a swim every time you take a dump.

I used urine as contact solution. TFM.
–D.C.

What kind of kick ass ocular infection did you get out of this? Seek medical attention.

There are two things that are frowned upon by society that bother me: jacking off and getting high. Both of which I have concluded are two of the best medicines ever. If combined they could potentially cure cancer. I plan on continuing my study. TFM.
–Tennessee

Finally, someone discovers the cure for cancer: masturbating high. This is exactly why you shouldn’t post TFMs right after you get stoned and spank it.

Man law only applies between friends, or at the urinal. Well, anytime dicks are out. TFM.
–Florida

COME ON. What possessed you to post this? Do you make ookie cookies at your chapter?

Cop arrested me so I shit in his back seat. Jokes on him. TFM.
–Kentucky

I think the joke is still on you. Now you’re in the back of a cop car, all covered in shit. How long did you spend in the psych ward? Sociopath.

I put the STD in stud all I need is u. TFM.
–Louisiana

…and a shot of penicillin, or a cycle of Valtrex.

Stole a bokk from the library, censor went off and i ran in my flipflops. TFM.
–New Mexico

You’ve never read a fucking book, so I assume you stole it in order to sell it and buy some of those flip-flops with the bottle openers on the bottom.

Considering polygamy so you can be connected to all your sisters forever. TSM.
–Utah

Incredibly creepy. Utah, you never cease to amaze me.

This might actually make your weekend better:

  2. Frat Weekly

    Cargo pants, jorts, mandatory gym hours, and only “raging” with GDI’s, these guys are winners by far

    14 years ago at 2:26 pm
  3. Fratom Bomb

    Are those plaid cargo shorts I spy on the Asian PIKE melvin on the far right?

    14 years ago at 2:27 pm
    1. Robert S Fratnamara

      Yes… yes it is… Didn’t even know those existed. They shouldn’t.

      14 years ago at 2:29 pm
    2. fratrace

      As a PIKE, i’m very disappointed in that picture. Makes us all look like fucking GDIs.

      14 years ago at 4:20 pm
    3. Nitro Hazelton

      As not a pike, I still can’t believe you losers are forsaking each other left and right.
      @Robert S Fratnamara; rad name.

      14 years ago at 6:57 pm
  4. Gravedigger

    What the fuck is that thing? Whatever it is, we don’t need a shirt with taped on letters to tell us it’s a GDI

    14 years ago at 2:32 pm
  5. Ben Elli

    At least his slampiece stood in place with the trash bag while he spewed all over her.

    14 years ago at 2:33 pm
  7. sorry4fratting

    Ha why didnt they just use a trash can instead of making her hold it….fucking geeds

    14 years ago at 2:43 pm
  8. Pi K A

    The most pathetic part about the Pike picture are the Pike brothers talking shit about it. We are all supposed to be brothers. It’s pathetic to see some of the comments posted by the Pikes on here. Here are some facts about the Pike picture. 1. That was in the middle of Lip Sync practice. 2. The Lip Sync routine won them Greek Week. 3. They are a colony and won their first ever Greek Week, so what does that say about all the other fraternities at UWF?

    14 years ago at 2:50 pm
    3. WhiteCrossWoody

      What does it have to say about the other chapters at UWF? Well first they aren’t a fraternity yet, only a colony, aka PLEDGES. Second, They didn’t win Lip Sync…TKE did. They won two of the sports during greek week because all they care about is athletics and their mandatory gym hours. While on the other hand Sigma Chi at UWF won Greek week the past two years, Greek Excellence every year since they have been on campus, has the largest chapter, and the highest overall GPA with a 3.19, the next highest on campus is around a 2.7. Every chapter on campus gets along; all bonded by the mutual hating of this pike colony.

      14 years ago at 3:17 pm
    4. Pi K A

      Never said they won Lip Sync, I said because of their Lip Sync performance they won them Greek Week. Learn to read. As for gym hours, they aren’t mandatory. Obviously someone doesn’t have their facts straight. Don’t know why you brought Sigma Chi into this. If you think every chapter gets along then you are mistaken. The hatred tide is shifting towards ATO fast, especially when they disrespectfully threw out Pike and Sigma Chi letters off the stage and onto the floor during their Lip Sync performance.

      14 years ago at 3:33 pm
    5. William Fratrill

      I saw that picture during the first semester of the school year. Are you saying that you all practiced all got damn year for lip sync? Pathetic if you take it that serious. Also you’re still a colony aka pledges, and yet you wear letters. God Damn Independents…..

      14 years ago at 3:46 pm
    6. Pi K A

      That picture is from March 23rd, so that first statement is already false. Colony = Pledges, yes and no. Colony members aren’t official brothers so they are pledges in that sense. However, they aren’t pledges because they earned their right to colony status and the right to wear letters. Colonies have completely different rules then Chartered organizations. If you can’t appreciate a group of people starting an organization that is obviously doing well then you sir are plain ignorant.

      14 years ago at 4:02 pm
    7. William Fratrill

      My bad, I must have mistaken it with another one of your horrid pictures. And being a brother is either black or white. There’s no gray area in between. So yes. You’re a pledge.

      14 years ago at 4:16 pm
    8. William Fratrill

      And “doing well”, by that you must mean “We fucking rush everyone and anyone because we are suffering numbers and need people desperately because we lost all of our decent pledges.”

      14 years ago at 4:19 pm
    9. Pi K A

      That doesn’t make sense. If we lost our best pledges how did we win Greek Week? You can’t win Greek Week with a group of bad people. So obviously once again you are wrong. Also, we have the second largest group on campus and are not suffering in numbers. Once again you are wrong. You sir are a failure of a person to be trying to argue with me. Find a smarter brother to get on this post because I have grown weary of your stupidity.

      14 years ago at 4:33 pm
    10. William Fratrill

      Umadbro? The definition of “best” is not being athletic and focused on sports. It’s about quality, and quite frankly. You’re quality sucks. And all of your decent guys left y’all to join other fraternities or went GDI because of your horrid reputation. And 2nd largest? Doubt that, and even if you are. You rushed anyone and everyone which doesn’t even really count. And thank you for agreeing that you are a pledge who disrespects the Greek community by wearing letters and insulting other fraternities.

      14 years ago at 4:46 pm
    11. Pi K A

      Never did I insult anyone else on here and we do have respect for the Greek community. Why would we be joining the Greek community if we didn’t respect it. So yet again you are wrong. I thought I told you to send me someone smarter. The only guys that left us to join other organizations were used only for athletics and had bad grades. So by saying our best guys left to go elsewhere already conflicts with your very own definition of “best”. Once again you’re wrong. As for the ones that went GDI, they couldn’t afford to pay this semester. They’ll be back, and if we rush anyone and everyone then we would have lower quality guys like yourself. Which we don’t. Anything else? I feel like you are starting to repeat yourself which is not common of the unintellectual.

      14 years ago at 4:55 pm
    12. SouthgateTaylorHouse

      1)So I’m guessing WhiteCrossWoody is a SigmaChi from UWF, if so you should feel like shit because your fraternity came to UWF the same way Pi Kappa Alpha is, through a colony! We are not Pledges, we never will be pledges, it’s regrettable that we will never get the chance to suffer as a pledge…or is it regrettable that only 10% of ALL GREEKS are Founding Fathers and started a chapter at a new school. I’d rather be apart of the prestigous 10%.
      2) William Fratrill- You must be an ATO at UWF. You keep talking about us losing all our decent pledges, but I’m not aware of these people you talk about? We lost three of the worst members of our Colony who did not do shit, two of them don’t even have the GPA requirement for Pike, so when you talk about “Quality” remember that you picked up what PIKE shit out from our colony to join your shitty pledge class. As far as I am concerned ATO can start talking shit when they increase their chapter size to HALF the size of our Colony. Pathetic. And again, we are not pledges. Call ATO headquarters and ask what colony members are referred to as, and I guarantee it will not be “Pledges.” Your brothers who brought ATO to campus in the past, ie when you were a Colony, would be ashamed of what the chapter they started has fallen to, nothing but thieving stoners.

      14 years ago at 5:07 pm
    13. PhiMu

      Wow… I actually felt sorry for Pi K A. He was just trying to be supportive. All fraternities and sororities had to start somewhere. And girls are impressed when a fraternity can win Greek Week. Yes the picture was probably lacking some judgment, but aren’t all “lip sync” performances slightly embarrassing. Cut the poor guys a break.

      14 years ago at 5:09 pm
    14. 1868 Fratting

      No, the most pathetic part about the PIKE picture is the jorts and plaid cargo shorts. Fact.

      14 years ago at 5:16 pm
    15. Pi K A

      Cool story bro, got any ones just as interesting as that one? I’m dieing to hear them. It’s not a Pike thing at UWF, ALL organizations have members that wear cargo shorts and plaid at UWF.

      14 years ago at 5:24 pm
    16. 1868 Fratting

      Oh my mistake, had to look up what UWF was. Its not your fault, you’re just from Florida.

      14 years ago at 5:37 pm
    17. sic semper tyrfratus

      As a greek from UWF I am embarassed to see members from our greek community Not ALL fraternities here wear plaid and cargo shorts, most of us are real members of fraternities and we dress well to represent ourselves and our fraternities well.

      14 years ago at 6:02 pm
    18. William Fratrill

      Pike is a joke. Unfrattiest of them all. All you’re good at is rushing geeds and being meatheads. You’re quality men consist of rejects, you’re original founding fathers have been broken up and dispersed, you’re leaders consist of ignorant and arrogant guidos who like to live in shitty “frat houses” and all your parties involve petty highschoolers and god damn losers and weirdos like yourselves. If you go Pike, you’re got damned not right.

      14 years ago at 6:27 pm
    19. Fratopia

      I don’t go to uwf or whatever hell hole you sons of bitches came from but from the looks of it you all suck. So until you actually personify what it means to be not a fucking gdi then get the fuck off this site. Congrats you joined a fraternity but you joined a shitty one at a college that doesn’t mean shit to anyone unless you are an assistant manager at Burger King. So please shut the fuck up, no one cares. I am not kidding no one gives two fucks about your lives.

      14 years ago at 6:50 pm
    22. Pi K A

      Towards William Fratrill because you other two aren’t worth being recognized. Rushing geeds? You’re a dumbass, everyone that gets rushed is a geed. Bet it sounded cool in your head, moron. Our original founders have been split up? Another lie, they are all still here except for one and he chose to leave us because he is devoting all his focus to school. Once again you’re wrong. The house isn’t the best so I will admit that, however no one has a really good house in Pensacola anyways. Not to mention your low rate organization doesn’t even have a house or have enough people to get to live in a house. It has become apparent to anyone that reads this that the only loser is you. You have the worst argument skills and ther is no substance to anything you say. As for parties having losers, guidos and high schoolers. Those stopped happening when we stopped letting your pathetic excuse of an organization to come to our house, which we only allowed because you had no where else to go. Have fun partying in apartments.

      14 years ago at 9:00 pm
    23. PKAOlympian

      hey william fratty add uwf pike and stop posting anon. make your self known to us and see if you still talk such a big game.

      14 years ago at 9:15 pm
    24. William Fratrill

      1. I’m not ATO
      2. I went to UWF last year.
      3. There*
      4. Umadbro?
      5. I’m not the one who made it on Fail Friday, regardless if you did or did not submit that photo. You fail. And that’s the point. The End, you lose, good day sir.

      14 years ago at 9:59 pm
    25. Pi K A

      I don’t even care about fail friday, and not mad. I could care less about you or your organization. I’m just defending mine. So be a good alumni if you really did graduate last year and help your organization out because it is apparent they need it

      14 years ago at 10:39 pm
    26. WhiteCrossWoody

      I like how you said Sigma Chi was in the same position a few years ago when we were founded. Ummm our founders weren’t balled from another chapter nor were they a bunch of douchebags. You say that ATO got enough pledges to make half of your colony? Cool, they doubled in size and got more guys than anyone else during spring rush. Also, I don’t care if you are “unofficial” members…you are pledges which means you should not be wearing letters that you don’t know the meaning behind. Plus you are saying that the hatred shifted towards ATO? I haven’t heard anyone talk shit about ATO except for you, but I do still hear everyone talk shit about you guys.

      14 years ago at 11:23 pm
    27. PKAOlympian

      dear white cross PLEASE add one of the uwf pikes and see if u still talk this mad game cuz i know the original founder of sigma chi on your campus and i seriously doubt he would be proud of you guys now, you know what. nvm ill call him

      14 years ago at 1:42 am
    28. Pi K A

      WhiteCross, ATO did double in size. That statement in itself is pathetic, it goes to show how many members they actually have. Not to mention the majority of that pledge class is going to get nowhere when their GPA stays as shitty as it has always been. They are nothing but pothead failures who resort to stealing because they think it makes them look cool. As for no one talking shit about ATO, you obviously know nothing about the Greek Community. Phi Sigs don’t like them, Alpha Chi doesn’t either, SAMs don’t as well, obviously Pike doesn’t care for them and not to mention Sigma Chi is furious about their letters getting thrown off stage like a rag. Stitched letters too. So please do everyone a favor and speak when you have all your thoughts gathered. It’s pathetic having to refute to two imbeciles. I feel like I’m arguing with the Valedictorian of special ed, you think you’re cool but in the end you’re just a retard.

      14 years ago at 2:14 am
    31. William Fratrill

      You realize everything you just said countered what you said earlier….you talked Shit about other Greeks and have a strong hate towards ATO. Its not their fault you still aren’t chartered. Curly headed Fuck.

      14 years ago at 9:54 am
    32. Pi K A

      I never talked shit about other Greeks except for ATO, so false again. Also I don’t even have a hatred towards them, I was just stating what they are. Lastly, I don’t have curly hair, good guess though.

      14 years ago at 9:59 am
    33. William Fratrill

      You really are too dumb to insult. You should write a novel and than have it published that way we can all share a sense of relief that we aren’t all idiotic like you. And might I ask who I am even talking to? The asian? The Leprechaun? Or is it a hot headed, rosey cheek having, baby back bitch?

      14 years ago at 10:10 am
    34. Mick

      Olympian.. Cry a little more about pikes bashing their own, clearly you don’t have true brotherhood

      As for the UWF pikes, you have a similar picture on your website, plaid shorts and all, so quit claiming this was a one time thing. You guys won Greek week? Congrats, it’s a massive event at UWF (three events) i bet that was so hard.

      Like you said, none of you were hazed and you don’t know any of the pike secrets, or what it means to be greek (not a synonym for gym membership) clearly you don’t deserve to wear the letters.

      Don’t bother retaliating with some meaningless remark. Unlike you, I don’t spend 5 hours a day checking my comments on TFM waiting for replies.

      Motion to have all GDI’s and/or colony members removed from TFM.

      14 years ago at 10:54 am
    36. UWFPKA

      Everyone just leave the pikes at UWF alone. We’re just trying to get chartered and everyone is trying to cause drama about what we wear. That’s just sad. What happened to Greek unity?

      14 years ago at 12:54 pm
    37. Pi K A

      William Fratrill, I am neither of the ones you are referring to. Also, anyone who reads this knows that the idiotic one is you. You have made zero valid points and I have shut you down on every single thing you have said.

      14 years ago at 2:08 pm
    39. Black and Yellow

      I have to agree with Pi K A, that is not only ridiculous but also very embarrassing.

      But this behavior seems very a-typical of Pikes in general, you know why? cause its everybody and anybody. Pike literally gives a bid to anyone who asks for one at my school, but not only that the same can be said for the three other big pike chapters in the state. My point being that maybe when yall hand out bids you could focus more on brotherhood than numbers and maybe other chapters would stick up for one another so that even other pikes like pikes?

      also, good luck with yalls colony at UWF, and congrats on greek week
      we won too.

      14 years ago at 5:05 pm