FAIL FRIDAY: Everyday is April Fools for TFM Intern
14 years ago

Why? Because it’s the anthem, and if I have to read these submissions, you have to listen to the goddamn anthem. SING IT:

Eleven real submissions, four photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Being a straight guy on the college cheer team. TFM.
-New Mexico

Good for you. Make sure you keep those spirit fingers extra hetero.

Woke up to eggs drenched in hot sauce. FM. Eating them off her chest. TFM.
-Michigan

Why dirty a plate when you can use her flat chest?

Using slampiece tears as anal lubricant. TFM.
-Virginia

For the love of God…not ok, man. Not ok.

As I get older my shorts will get shorter and my balls will hang lower. I think you see where this is going. TFM.
-Florida

This ends with your children no longer bringing your grandchildren over for Thanksgiving. Eventually they won’t show for Christmas, and then they’ll disown you altogether. Also, your balls will be taking a swim every time you take a dump.

I used urine as contact solution. TFM.
–D.C.

What kind of kick ass ocular infection did you get out of this? Seek medical attention.

There are two things that are frowned upon by society that bother me: jacking off and getting high. Both of which I have concluded are two of the best medicines ever. If combined they could potentially cure cancer. I plan on continuing my study. TFM.
–Tennessee

Finally, someone discovers the cure for cancer: masturbating high. This is exactly why you shouldn’t post TFMs right after you get stoned and spank it.

Man law only applies between friends, or at the urinal. Well, anytime dicks are out. TFM.
–Florida

COME ON. What possessed you to post this? Do you make ookie cookies at your chapter?

Cop arrested me so I shit in his back seat. Jokes on him. TFM.
–Kentucky

I think the joke is still on you. Now you’re in the back of a cop car, all covered in shit. How long did you spend in the psych ward? Sociopath.

I put the STD in stud all I need is u. TFM.
–Louisiana

…and a shot of penicillin, or a cycle of Valtrex.

Stole a bokk from the library, censor went off and i ran in my flipflops. TFM.
–New Mexico

You’ve never read a fucking book, so I assume you stole it in order to sell it and buy some of those flip-flops with the bottle openers on the bottom.

Considering polygamy so you can be connected to all your sisters forever. TSM.
–Utah

Incredibly creepy. Utah, you never cease to amaze me.

This might actually make your weekend better:

  4. PKAOlympian

    I cannot believe i am seeing fellow pikes disrespect a COLONY of your future brothers and leaders, These men are going through hell with the colony process if only we all had to show the dedication those men are showing towards PIKE. You few that are bashing this colony are the reason people talk badly about our organization and maybe if you went through this colony process i wouldnt have to call you my brother..

    14 years ago at 9:14 pm
    1. Alwaysclassy1895

      I completely agree. I am a founding member of my chapter and I know how hard it can be to gain acceptance. While I (no offense) would not stick up for the PIKE at my school, I am not about to judge the entire national organization based on one chapter. Being a colony is a rough process because you don’t have any older members (other than nationals) to help guide you. These men are setting the foundation for their chapter and need to be encouraged by their brothers nationally.

      Granted, they probably shouldn’t have posted that picture on this website. Good look to the colony and hopefully the Greek community at their campus accepts them.

      14 years ago at 9:32 pm
    2. Pi K A

      We didn’t post that picture. Someone else did. That picture was strictly taken to show that we got our table back that ATO got by breaking into the house

      14 years ago at 9:35 pm
    3. Pi K A

      and PKAOlympian I could not have phrased that better myself. Alwaysclassy, thank you for the support

      14 years ago at 9:36 pm
    4. American Psychbro

      You guys need the gay hazed out of you. PIKE is a terrible fraternity everywhere and you were either to desperate or stupid to care when you picked up your bid.

      14 years ago at 10:13 pm
    8. gnod828

      i guess that’s why we became greek week champions as colony our first year participating. as for “TazewellBROford1868”, you are the type of person that people are disgusted about me being pike. could you atleast spell correctly? “embarresing”? yeah that’s real embarrassing. thank you for our support, and even though our charter process is tough, we will be chartered, and we will succeed and we will dominate. go pike

      14 years ago at 12:17 pm
    9. UWFPKA

      Yeah, go pike. We’re going to get chartered cause we’re the best. Just look at what happened at Greek week. Everyone else is just jealous. TFM.

      14 years ago at 12:47 pm
    10. WhiteCrossWoody

      And get over the Greek week championship. Brag about one other good thing you’ve done…maybe high GPA, most philanthropy money raised, most community service? That’s right you don’t have any of that.

      14 years ago at 7:04 pm
    13. Fratvizor

      WhiteCrossWoody im pretty sure Sigma Chi didnt have the most community service this year at UWF, just saying.

      14 years ago at 4:30 pm
    14. Stingray0508

      ..WhiteCrossWoody never said Sigma Chi has the most community service, He was just stating everything else that Pike colony does NOT have other than being the Greek Week champ that I am sure we all read 1000x already. Once again, no one cares

      14 years ago at 4:51 pm
  5. UWFPKA

    This is bullshit. Im done with TFM. Our colony is trying really hard to get a chapter developed at UWF and we’re getting made fun of on TFM? Thats bullshit. Grow up, guys. We may take anyone but its because we are trying to grow. That even helped us win Greek Week. We have better athletes which makes us better.

    14 years ago at 11:20 pm
    1. WhiteCrossWoody

      You and your pledge brother might want to get your shit straight…because he was saying that you don’t take everyone but you are saying you are.

      14 years ago at 11:37 pm
    4. Pi K A

      This is definitely not a Pike at UWF, trust me. None of us are that unintellectual to write in that manner. It is obvious WhiteCross is bein a little pussy makin new accounts…Wah. Even timed his UWFPKA and WhiteCross post about 17 minutes apart both times

      14 years ago at 2:01 am
    6. William Fratrill

      Pike….you’re trying to hard. You’re not smart. So shhhh, shut, shut your mouth.

      14 years ago at 9:58 am
    7. TazewellBROford1868

      listen COLONY, you’re embarresing the rest of our 264 chapters around the nation dressing like that and throwing up GDI signs like that and even writing PIKE in a grafitti style is horrible. Drop your chapter, switch universities and join a real pike chapter. Phi Phi! oh wait you cant say that yet! raise your hand if you have a charter! not you!

      14 years ago at 11:18 am
    8. UWFPKA

      Why would you even say that TazewellBROford? We’re just trying to be pikes and we even won Greek week.

      14 years ago at 1:00 pm
    10. aa

      Wow I feel really sorry for y’all. But if you’re not frat to begin with, why would you come on this site? I don’t understand how y’all are attracted to a site that blatantly makes fun of people like just like you. If you’re the cargo type, be who you are, but don’t come here and act surprised/offended.

      14 years ago at 3:16 pm
    11. WhiteCrossWoody

      Why would I go from saying how crappy your colony is in one thread to defending them in another? And I am the unintellectual…

      14 years ago at 7:02 pm
    12. WhiteWhale

      Maybe one day you will figure out that Greek Week is just friendly competition to help Greek unity, and true respect is earned by strong campus and community involvement. Being a decent athlete doesn’t mean anything if you don’t have strong morals and ideals.

      14 years ago at 8:19 pm
    13. TazewellBROford1868

      UWF you have my sympathy just present yourselves better! you’re at a southern school! i would die just to attend one and affiliate! being in a fraternity is a damn privilage! you’re better than anyone else on campus… if you need help with the colony just contact us

      14 years ago at 5:20 am
    16. Purple Frater

      This ss so stupid, who cares if they are a colony or not. Its not yalls chapter, you guys don’t live in Pensacola, except some retarted KA’s who are as NF as there can be and @whitecrosswoody, hes a Sigma Chi who has nothing better to do after his Geed girlfriend falls asleep on his ass. Frat on boys Frat on.

      14 years ago at 2:23 pm
    17. UWFPKA

      Exactly what Purple Farter said. Who cares? We’re a colony. Screw the Sigma Chi and KA. Maybe they dress better and have better houses but we won Greek week and have a bunch of people.

      14 years ago at 4:55 pm
    20. WhiteAngloSaxonFrat

      UWFKPKA is clearly a fake account trying to make Pike look bad. He keeps repeating the same thing about “winning Greek Week”.

      Stop trashing Pike and get a life.

      14 years ago at 10:14 am
    21. daddysgirlalways

      UWFPKA… a chapter is more than just winning Greek Week, coming from a fellow member of UWF greek life…

      14 years ago at 12:40 am
  7. runninginthewetgrass

    the girl in the GDI shirt needs some holy water and a cross. the power of christ compels you.

    14 years ago at 12:12 am
    4. In Broc

      username, you are an retard …. gamma delta iota ….as is GDI … she is trying to announce that she is proudly a GDI …for whatever reason she may have … I’m guessing based on her appearance even the bottom tier sorority bounced her ass on the first night of rush

      14 years ago at 5:18 am