FAIL FRIDAY: Everyday is April Fools for TFM Intern
14 years ago

Why? Because it’s the anthem, and if I have to read these submissions, you have to listen to the goddamn anthem. SING IT:

Eleven real submissions, four photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Being a straight guy on the college cheer team. TFM.
-New Mexico

Good for you. Make sure you keep those spirit fingers extra hetero.

Woke up to eggs drenched in hot sauce. FM. Eating them off her chest. TFM.
-Michigan

Why dirty a plate when you can use her flat chest?

Using slampiece tears as anal lubricant. TFM.
-Virginia

For the love of God…not ok, man. Not ok.

As I get older my shorts will get shorter and my balls will hang lower. I think you see where this is going. TFM.
-Florida

This ends with your children no longer bringing your grandchildren over for Thanksgiving. Eventually they won’t show for Christmas, and then they’ll disown you altogether. Also, your balls will be taking a swim every time you take a dump.

I used urine as contact solution. TFM.
–D.C.

What kind of kick ass ocular infection did you get out of this? Seek medical attention.

There are two things that are frowned upon by society that bother me: jacking off and getting high. Both of which I have concluded are two of the best medicines ever. If combined they could potentially cure cancer. I plan on continuing my study. TFM.
–Tennessee

Finally, someone discovers the cure for cancer: masturbating high. This is exactly why you shouldn’t post TFMs right after you get stoned and spank it.

Man law only applies between friends, or at the urinal. Well, anytime dicks are out. TFM.
–Florida

COME ON. What possessed you to post this? Do you make ookie cookies at your chapter?

Cop arrested me so I shit in his back seat. Jokes on him. TFM.
–Kentucky

I think the joke is still on you. Now you’re in the back of a cop car, all covered in shit. How long did you spend in the psych ward? Sociopath.

I put the STD in stud all I need is u. TFM.
–Louisiana

…and a shot of penicillin, or a cycle of Valtrex.

Stole a bokk from the library, censor went off and i ran in my flipflops. TFM.
–New Mexico

You’ve never read a fucking book, so I assume you stole it in order to sell it and buy some of those flip-flops with the bottle openers on the bottom.

Considering polygamy so you can be connected to all your sisters forever. TSM.
–Utah

Incredibly creepy. Utah, you never cease to amaze me.

This might actually make your weekend better:

  2. fricknfrat

    What’s worse, the guys in the Pike picture or the fact that they are all turning on each other. Get some class. Then worry about those damn plaid-cargos and jorts.

    14 years ago at 9:18 am
    1. TazewellBROford1868

      im a pike… and thats down right embaressing… who the fuck forged their bids??? please yank their charter

      14 years ago at 11:12 am
    2. SouthgateTaylorHouse

      Why is that embarrassing to you? Pi kappa alpha is based on ideals,values, and high moral character of it’s men. Not a fucking dress code. You sir are an embarrassment to this fraternity by judging men in your fraternity by their clothes.

      14 years ago at 12:48 pm
    3. TazewellBROford1868

      first impressions are everything you should know that southgate… hopefully i can call you a brother unless you’re one of these colonists from the picture… i know what the fuck our fraternity is based on just read the damn preamble… But when a group of men like this presents themselves in a way that bashes what our founders imagined that just disgusts me… no offense to you im going to take your word and hope you’re a brother… PPKA

      14 years ago at 5:05 am
  3. TazewellBROford1868

    Being a pike and seeing that picture makes me disgusted. They are probably west coast but still please nationals yank their charter and dont let anyone forge anymore bids for them get them out of my fraternity

    14 years ago at 11:15 am
    3. TazewellBROford1868

      oh their a colony so at least they aren’t my brother yet makes me feel a little better…

      14 years ago at 5:03 am
  4. GeorgeHazingWBush

    Aside from all these pike pussboys arguing over bullshit at no-name schools, the creepin while you’re sleepin should be tattooed on the bitch above it. hahaha.

    14 years ago at 11:59 am
  8. Fraternity Man

    Seriously saw the Gamma Delta Iota shirt, and flipped off my laptop screen. Fuck her. Not literally either. I hope she gets in some sort of accident.

    14 years ago at 11:41 pm
    1. The Waltz

      We can one up it…there’s a bar in Columbia (MO) that has GDI parties on Thursdays, and gives out neon green Gamma Delta Iota shirts that say “damn right I’m independent!” on the back. Same bar that the fucking Girls Gone Wild bus went to.

      14 years ago at 7:47 pm
  9. Frateology

    Pike’s at West Florida are pieces of shit. They’re just a group of pledges who circle jerk every Sunday. Quit calling yourselves a fraternity and raping high school girls they need to be studying for there ACT.

    14 years ago at 12:12 am
  10. Year Around Frat

    Is anyone else tired of seeing people from West Florida bitch about the Pike colony. I don’t go to the frattiest school in the South and therefore don’t give two rats asses what your even shittier school says about greek life. Go talk shit in your collegeacb.

    14 years ago at 2:56 am
  11. Frataholic

    Anyone feel like fail Friday is an attempt by the TFM pledge to haze the rest of us?

    14 years ago at 4:17 am