FAIL FRIDAY: Father Forgive Them

Below is the worst user-submitted content of the week in the form of ten TFM’s, 20 photos, and four videos. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but God sees all shame. Have yourself a weekend, fam.

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to tips@totalfratmove.com.

My fiancé called off our wedding when I drunkenly posted a Snapchat of me banging a midget stripper at my bachelor party. TFM.

You kinda had that one coming.

Smuggling an ounce of crystal viagra in my ass through airport security and banging both flight attendants at the front of the plane in front of the passengers. TFM.

And that’s how you go to prison, kids.

Put my chill-to-pull ratio on my resume instead of my GPA. 5:5 sounds a lot better than 0.8. TFM.

You are correct. It does sound better. Anything sounds better.

Drafting Johnny Manziel in the first round of your fantasy draft. TFM.

Last place is where you’re headed.

Having to be physically restrained by my crew when the bartender says they don’t have Keystone Light on tap. TFM.

Your tastebuds are shit. Literally shit.

My gardener was working in the yard while I was singing Wagon Wheel. He said he’d never heard it before. So I got his ass deported back to Mexico. TFM.

Just a terrible, terrible effort.

Whaling on a pussy that’s so fishy it was featured on Field and Stream. TFM.

You disgust me, sir.

Being so frat that greek row is borderline Iraq. TFM.

Not sure that’s the comparison you want.

So I was doing sex with her doggystyle. The smell of her ass made me throw up, then the smell of my throw up made her throw up. We’re now engaged. TFianceeM.

Something tells me you’ll live happily ever after.

I do the anal with some men’s and some women’s. How can that not be totally “TFM’s,” my man?

I don’t even know what this website is anymore.

GET THE OFFICIAL SHIRT OF FAIL FRIDAY

Harambe rolls over in his grave.
Harambe rolls over in his grave.
The vino got to him.
The vino got to him.
Can we stop this fucking trend already.
Can we stop this fucking trend already.
Hes in a dark place.
He’s in a dark place.
Nailed it!
Nailed it!
Far left looks like he fits in.
Far left looks like he fits in perfectly.
He got got.
He got got.
Now thats what I call poetry.
Now that’s what I call poetry.
Saturdays are for fucking, I say.
Saturdays are for fucking, I say.
Man so down.
Man so down.
Bare Chests And Turtle Necks Is A Terrible theme.
Bare Chests And Turtle Necks is a terrible theme.
Be better.
Be better.
#naturechicks turn me on.
#naturechicks turn me on.
You peed your pants.
You peed your pants.
Harambe frowns upon you.
Harambe frowns upon you.
You'll be okay, guy. Stay strong.
You’ll be okay, guy. Stay strong.
Their balls are out.
Their balls are out.
Laaaaame.
Laaaaame.
You poor, poor bastard.
You poor, poor bastard.
We're all sexual deviants.
We’re all sexual deviants.

The Interview: AEPI Fall Rush 2016

If Frats Were Feminist

ATO Theta Iota Fall Recruitment 2016

The post-bar drunk food kitchen search. #TFM Send your photos and videos to Instagram@totalfratmove.com

A video posted by Total Frat Move (@totalfratmove) on

Chaser

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Now watch our newest original video: Things Pledges Shouldn’t Say

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  1. JohnRedcorn211

    intern, posted this at like 12 Mountain standard time to try to avoid a ribbing for missing about 5 other fail Fridays. get lost, shitlicker

    8 years ago at 2:14 am
  2. radbeer

    I’ll give credit where it’s due thank you TFM for not fucking up the one thing great about this website

    8 years ago at 2:49 am
    1. JimmyBuffet

      You must have missed the several week period where they didn’t post fail Friday at all. Stop kissing ass.

      8 years ago at 6:45 am
  3. FearTheJacket

    Classic lazy intern recycling the chaser from the videos section. Go take a bath with a toaster.

    8 years ago at 2:57 am
  4. Texas Tux and Oil

    It’s 3:45 Am, the soft 4 hasn’t even climbed out my window yet.

    8 years ago at 3:47 am
    1. Texas Tux and Oil

      Its 6:58 am, gave her some peanut butter crackers and she took shower in my sink, safely landed in the grass without waking the brothers.

      8 years ago at 6:58 am
      1. Texas Tux and Oil

        It’s 7:41 am and I just got the “what are we text”, made toast in the skillet but fucking Reed forgot to buy butter.

        8 years ago at 7:42 am
      2. ThePhiTour

        I’m more interested in Tux and Oil’s gripping morning routine narrative than most of TFM’s recent articles.

        8 years ago at 9:07 am
      3. Texas Tux and Oil

        It’s 10:02 am and Grandex has sent me an offer letter more shameful than the soft 4 I reverse jackhammered against a broken laundry basket.

        8 years ago at 10:03 am
      4. UncleRicosThrowingArm

        I remember when I was 16 and used numbers as letters. SOOO MUCH FUCKING CHILL BRAHHHHHH

        8 years ago at 11:51 am
      5. drunkmagicjohnson

        I was responding to Fuck_All_Muslims but this shit app doesn’t let you @ anybody

        8 years ago at 12:48 pm
      6. SharkWeekTFM

        DrunkMagicJohnson: The? As in the ONLY one here? I think we found ONE of the high schoolers.

        8 years ago at 9:47 am
      7. UncleRicosThrowingArm

        Motion granted, @TacticalButterKnife.
        Also, @drunkmagicjohnson, I feel ya know worries.

        Also, that name seems way too staged to be authentic. We should blackball that user for the simple fact a user name as unclever as “Fuck all muslims” sounds like a ploy that a shit Rolling Stones columnist would do.
        There’s not even a double entendre in that name

        8 years ago at 1:46 pm
      8. RisingFratstarOfTX

        How does it feel knowing nobody in your high school invites you to anything because they’d be ashamed to be seen with you.

        8 years ago at 12:25 pm
  5. J.W. Dundee

    So much Harambe shit in this fail friday. I fear for the future of our nation.

    8 years ago at 4:15 am
  6. SharkWeekTFM

    I actually kinda enjoyed the Interview and Feminist Frats. That 3rd video was rather cringy indeed though.

    8 years ago at 4:55 am
    1. GeedsAreRuiningAmerica

      Remember the article a while ago about Millikin, a tiny school in Illinois, sending some dumb warning letter to all their Greeks about cultural appropriation? That’s the school.

      8 years ago at 1:22 pm
      1. SharkWeekTFM

        Noted. Unfortunately that info does not enhance my enjoyment. But thanks nonetheless 🙂

        8 years ago at 9:50 am