FAIL FRIDAY: Fireworks Safety

TFM Intern12 years ago

Ten real submissions, eleven photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Playing Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair” at a children’s cancer ward. TFTC.
-Oregon

Playing that song anywhere is wrong, but you just crossed the line.

I shot my uncle that touched me when I was little with a Roman candle and took out his fucking eye! TFM.
–California

Revenge is a dish best served with fireworks.

It’s not rape if it’s underwater. TFM.
-Wisconsin

Wow, I did not know that. This is a real game-changer. Thanks counselor!

I like my women like I like my scotch, 18 years old and mixed up with coke. TFM.
-Alabama

What kind of trailer trash retard mixes Coke with scotch?

Hey I just got here, and this is crazy, but here’s my TFM, so post it maybe. TFM.
–Texas

I hate you so very, very much.

Getting into “I’m not pressing the ‘next’ button” wars with naked dudes on chat roulette. TFM.
–DeVry University

The kids at DeVry University are fratting hard week in and week out. The rest of you should take notes.

Bill Gates sliced his 5-iron so hard that he ended up in my fairway. I asked him why he named his company after his dick. TFM.
–Utah

Bullllshit!

Putting your flaccid penis into geed’s cargo pockets. TFM.
–Illinois

While the mental image is hilarious, this is just fucking weird.

Had a shacker last night. I sleep walked and peed on her face. She screamed. I woke up and said, “Does it taste like America?” TFM.
–Indiana

You will live a short and lonely life.

Celebrating the Fourth of July by Eiffel Towering your half-French cousin with your dad. TFM.
–Arkansas

God Bless the USA.

If you want to ensure potential employers take you seriously, get ear gauges.

I don’t know what’s going on here, but the guy on the right scares me.

“Beds are taken? Fuck it, I’ll fold myself up on this table.”

I would legitimately not talk shit to these guys.

He’s way TPTC.

Apparently this was his move out day. That’s not a good feeling.

Rabies dick. TFTC.

Merman!

No, but folding your hands under your biceps makes you look more yolked in pictures.

Look at this fucking goober.

BONUS PHOTO!

The video that has the entire country laughing at Texas A&M:

They deleted it from YouTube, but here’s a link to the original video.

Unrivaled collection of fireworks fails:

Bar Rafaeli Chaser:

If you missed last week’s Fail Friday, CLICK HERE.