FAIL FRIDAY: Fratstars United
11 years ago

Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and three videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Dearest Intern, I am writing this message from a jail cell. I am in big trouble. Whilst at my frat’s latest rager, I made the mistake of showing a gaggle of babes my frock and some of them dropped dead in amazement. I am now being charged with 3 counts of involuntary slamslaughter. Tell all the bros I miss them. TFM.
-Anonymous

I got you, dawg. I’ll get your message out. Keep your head up.

Playing Fratty Bird with your frock. TFM.
-Anonymous

The sad part is I’ll probably try this now.

That awkward moment when you see your bro’s wang and it’s not nearly as big as you had imagined it to be. TFM.
-Anonymous

Happens all the time. So disappointing.

Yes, for the thousandth time, I am in a frat. TFM.
-Anonymous

Going to say this to every single person that approaches me tonight.

Straight up frat-slapping a random GDI at a bar for saying “turnt up.” TFM.
-Anonymous

Under no circumstances is one man slapping another man “frat.”

Quarter chubs are so frat because usually you’re slightly aroused and also they make your D look gigantic. TFM.
-Anonymous

Hell yeah thanks for explaining that.

Throwing my fratsketball at a chick’s face as an excuse to talk to her, then fucking her face up so bad that I don’t want to anymore. TFM.
-Anonymous

Jesus, man. Pull yourself together.

Sarcastically apologizing to my frat for my wang being too big. TFM.
-Anonymous

Oh sorry guys. I’m so sorry. Seriously, I apologize for my enormous goddamn wang. Apologies all around.

Frat dues: $1,400. Fresh polo: $100. Making pledges touch weiners: priceless. TFM.
-Anonymous

That’s not how I get down, but who am I to judge?

Having Michael J. Fox finger you because you don’t own a vibrator. TFM.
-Anonymous

What more need be said?

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I’m assuming fuckery ensued.

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Holy shit it’s a frampire (frat vampire).

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He’s ’bout dat life.

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Just cruising on his geed board.

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The first set of rush boobs from another species.

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Mmmm that’s that shit I do like.

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Fratstars united with frorses (frat horses).

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Well that’s terrifying.

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Just two shirtless bros tossing cookies together.

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No ragrets, betches.

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  5. stanhope scott

    Oh Rosie I will kick my boss in the balls to come home to you, hopefully Dad will understand

    11 years ago at 12:58 pm
  6. Drink_to_Pull_Ratio

    I never thought I’d really get this irritated seeing as how I save Fail Friday for the end my day, but shit. I woke up and went to school this morning thinking that hopefully I could read an article on here to start my day off right. FF is one I enjoy partaking if it’s good or bad. There is a reason you will never get promoted. I’m pre-[insert rigorous curriculum here] and I studying for hours a week to ace all my courses. Didn’t pledging teach you nothing. Do shit ahead of time so you can submit it right before the due date. I can’t wait til the PA Guy rips you another one like last week. It’d be nice to read this article right before class like my coffee. Even after drinking, I still wake up on Friday at an early time and still show up for my 8am. Grow-up and be a fucking adult. I hope your next boss is like Ari Gold. Or Patrick Bateman. Either will suffice.

    11 years ago at 1:01 pm
    1. DirtyJobsWithMikeBro

      Apparently grammar or at least a slight mastery of the English language isn’t part of your idea of being an adult.

      11 years ago at 6:51 am
  8. The Baron

    Dear Intern,

    I hope the Gents sent you to Spring Break in Somalia.

    Love,

    The Baron

    11 years ago at 1:11 pm
    1. HouseofFrats

      Pretty sure that’s the same guy twice. It takes legitimate effort to be on here twice in one post.

      11 years ago at 10:35 am