FAIL FRIDAY: Fratstars United
Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and three videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Dearest Intern, I am writing this message from a jail cell. I am in big trouble. Whilst at my frat’s latest rager, I made the mistake of showing a gaggle of babes my frock and some of them dropped dead in amazement. I am now being charged with 3 counts of involuntary slamslaughter. Tell all the bros I miss them. TFM.
-Anonymous
I got you, dawg. I’ll get your message out. Keep your head up.
Playing Fratty Bird with your frock. TFM.
-Anonymous
The sad part is I’ll probably try this now.
That awkward moment when you see your bro’s wang and it’s not nearly as big as you had imagined it to be. TFM.
-Anonymous
Happens all the time. So disappointing.
Yes, for the thousandth time, I am in a frat. TFM.
-Anonymous
Going to say this to every single person that approaches me tonight.
Straight up frat-slapping a random GDI at a bar for saying “turnt up.” TFM.
-Anonymous
Under no circumstances is one man slapping another man “frat.”
Quarter chubs are so frat because usually you’re slightly aroused and also they make your D look gigantic. TFM.
-Anonymous
Hell yeah thanks for explaining that.
Throwing my fratsketball at a chick’s face as an excuse to talk to her, then fucking her face up so bad that I don’t want to anymore. TFM.
-Anonymous
Jesus, man. Pull yourself together.
Sarcastically apologizing to my frat for my wang being too big. TFM.
-Anonymous
Oh sorry guys. I’m so sorry. Seriously, I apologize for my enormous goddamn wang. Apologies all around.
Frat dues: $1,400. Fresh polo: $100. Making pledges touch weiners: priceless. TFM.
-Anonymous
That’s not how I get down, but who am I to judge?
Having Michael J. Fox finger you because you don’t own a vibrator. TFM.
-Anonymous
What more need be said?
I’m assuming fuckery ensued.
Holy shit it’s a frampire (frat vampire).
He’s ’bout dat life.
Just cruising on his geed board.
The first set of rush boobs from another species.
Mmmm that’s that shit I do like.
Fratstars united with frorses (frat horses).
Well that’s terrifying.
Just two shirtless bros tossing cookies together.
No ragrets, betches.
Sig Nu with the #1 seed in the first Fail Friday of March Madness.
11 years ago at 2:16 pmOnly counted one pic. Think you’re confusing “Nu” with “Pi.”
11 years ago at 3:56 pmWhen a girl at CPAC is all like “I have a Rand Paul shaped dildo #istandwithrand” as you nod your head and hand her an American flag as you lead her back to your room to bang like patriots. TFM
11 years ago at 2:58 pmIntern, get you bib ready because when I get back from CPAC, I’m going to skull fuck you with my raging, patriotic stiffy. God bless America, you fucking mongrel.
11 years ago at 3:01 pmSo many penis references this week
11 years ago at 3:07 pmMilk Party had potential but it was poorly executed.
11 years ago at 3:21 pmGreat representation from sigma nu this week
11 years ago at 4:39 pmFinally, A FF with no caption saying, “man down”.
11 years ago at 4:46 pmA Fail Friday without the intern captioning “man down”? Its a fucking miracle.
11 years ago at 7:07 pmAny one know where else I can see the fraturniture video? its private again
11 years ago at 8:02 pmWhat’ movie will come out first? “Not your average frat boy” or “Total Frat Movie”? My money is on average frat boy.
11 years ago at 8:34 pmSigma Pi was just being Sigma Pi this week.
11 years ago at 9:55 pm