FAIL FRIDAY: Global Defense Initiative
12 years ago

Ten real submissions, ten photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Slampiece wanted to be official, so I gave her a Slamsquad jersey and said she had to wear it in the slampionship match against other slams. TFM.
–Texas

I hope you accidentally slam your fingers in the car door.

At a house party when a supergeed walks up with a jar that has “douchebag” written on it and tells me to put $1 in it because I instigated body shots. Told him to get a bigger jar to fit all the fucks I gave. TFM.
-Florida

The supergeed’s burn was better, and prop oriented.

Viciously dick slapping sleeping hobos until they find a job. TFM.
-Michigan

“Get a goddamn job, Al! You’ve got a negative attitude!”

A geed asked me if I needed a spitter. I said no and continued to spit on his face. TFM.
-Illinois

Fill that human spittoon with your sweet juices.

Getting a wicked handjob from the cashier while shopping at American Eagle. TFM.
–North Carolina

Did she follow you around the store with one hand in your pants while you checked out cargos?

C.R.E.W. Creative Revolution Entourage Worldwide, if you ain’t with us you against us. We takin over. Loyalty, respect, bros. TFM.
–Ke’vonte tha Swag Chief

God damn it, Ke’vonte.

Mom asked why I don’t have a girlfriend, I asked her why the house was dirty. TFM.
–North Dakota

And then she asked you why you still live at home.

Printing counterfeit bills and taking them to the stripper club. Bitches shaking that ass for fake dough and don’t even know though. TFM.
–California

Making it rain Monopoly money. RFM.

Running through the party and slapping little white girls with a giant, black, lubed up double-sided dildo. TFM.
-Ohio

Lubing it up is just adding insult to injury.

Making her wear an Obama mask while you smash from behind. TFM.
–Mississippi

I hope this replaces brown bagging. “Yeah man I’d hit it, but I’d have to Obama mask that bitch.”


Never go full Phi Delt.


According to the submitter they call him “Happy Feet.”


It comes so naturally to this kid. He doesn’t even have to try.


Undershirt. NF.


This fucking geed baby thinks he’s sooo cool. He’s not.


No matter how good a life they live St. Peter will ask, “Did you really have to get the fucking bicep tats?”


Selfies while getting drug tested. TFM.


I don’t know what’s going on here, but I know it’s gay.


My new favorite meme.


Victory chub. TFTC.

High schooler wearing Kappa Sig t-shirt apologizes to plane:


If I was on this flight I would’ve been pissed off. Let me off the fucking plane. Don’t make me listen to some wannabe frat laxer read his apology note.

“I’m proud to be a GDI motherfucker.”


Fast forward to the 5:05 mark for his comments on the Global Defense Initiative.

CHASER: Behind the scenes with Kate Upton

If you missed last week’s Fail Friday, CLICK HERE. Also be sure to check out TFM Sweetheart of the Week, Taylor Chatley.

  4. Shane K Gerald

    I felt bad for the kid in the second video, then he had to go and call me a “mother fucker”.

    12 years ago at 12:23 pm
  6. Phrat kappa tau

    This whole internet flame war about people fighting over being gdi or how “frat boys suck” is getting real stupid.
    The funny part is, we aren’t even doing anything..
    While they ramble on about shit they don’t know.
    Jesus Christ, it’s barely the fact they’re independents rather than how idiotic they can be

    12 years ago at 12:50 pm
  7. Tri_Merica

    The fact that you say “Look at me, I’m a gamer” and “the rest of us GDI’s” puts you directly into two distinct groups, thus negating your entire argument. You, and any person for that matter, cannot escape the boundaries of society and its formation of social groups and strata. Just because you say, “If at all possible, I try to be as different as possible” does not in fact remove you from all groups; there are thousands of other people priding themselves on the hope that maybe they are different, yet they are just lifting themselves out of one group, and placing themselves in another (namely ‘the ones trying to be different’ group).

    I could care less what group you’re in (Greek Life, skaters, gamers, GDI’s, etc.), but you are not fooling anyone into thinking that you stand separate and defy the biggest human instinct of all (comfort in groups/or like people) just because you say you aren’t in one. Please don’t be ignorant.

    As for the studying part. I agree that college is for getting a degree and “bettering yourself”, but there is no harm in having fun along the way.

    I’m done sorry for the lengthy post!

    12 years ago at 12:51 pm
    1. Bronan the Barbarian

      He’s really demonstrating a fundamental misunderstanding of human social dynamics. Unless he is asserting the idea that, psychologically, he has no need of group connections or interpersonal ties, which makes him either a sociopath or psychopath, depending on other factors. He just doesn’t realize that you can’t run from people, and that everyone will always have commonalities with other people. We’re all the same species, living in the same subsets of cultures. Definitionally, we’ll all have similarities. It’s also the single most important tie we have to one another.

      12 years ago at 12:59 pm
    3. Lone fratStar

      ^^^^It’s called “conforming to non-comformity” Kids literally isn’t smarter than a 5th grader.

      12 years ago at 2:39 pm
  9. Yo Soy Fiesta

    Notable Kate Upton quotes:
    “The water was like, splashing up and hitting me.”
    “Its just like, all this blue ocean”
    “Nobody brings a koala to the beach.”

    12 years ago at 12:57 pm
  11. TAUlife

    Is anyone gonna break it to them that the I in GDI stands for independent as in independent of a greek organization? Or do they know and think saying individual will demonize us more?

    12 years ago at 1:05 pm