FAIL FRIDAY: Elves Throwing Up

Ten real submissions, 19 photos, and three videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Giving your little sister shacker jewelry for Christmas. TFM.
-Kentucky

This is actually brilliant.

Upgrading from Android to iPhone 5 so I can snapchat panoramic dick picks. Its a TFM.
-Virginia

That’s a lot of panoramic man pole.

Playing college football and knowing that not ALL black guys have huge dicks…but some of them…Jesus. TFM.
–Florida

That’s a lovely observation, and totally makes sense as a “Total Frat Move.”

She said she thinks she recognized me from the gym. I said she didnt look like she goes to the gym and walked away. TFM.
-Pennsylvania

What a nice guy.

Only using Ralph Lauren dress socks to jack off into. TFM.
-Arizona

You’re a try-hard masturbator.

Setting “Mercy” as your ex-slam’s ringtone, because you know she wants to be in your two seat lambo while she tries to jerk you. TFM.
-Florida

Well obviously you have to do that.

Drinking while playing Stratego. It’s Fratego. TFM.
–North Carolina

When it comes to strategy board games, Stratego is about as frat as it gets.

Your level 4 Pikachu clutching in SSBros64 sudden death against a level 9 Fox to give your team the W. TFM.
–Alabama

Took me 20 minutes, but I finally figured out this is a reference to the video game Super Smash Bros. on Nintendo 64, which is not, in fact, an F-move.

Meteor showers. NF. Bumps in the shower. TFM.
–Florida

Doing cocaine in the shower is one of the stupider things I’ve ever heard.

Making cats leave. TscatM.
-School of Hard Knocks

It is true, yelling “Scat!” will get cats to leave.


If you’re an ATO and you’re being interviewed about sexual assault allegations, don’t throw a dip in.


If you’re witnessing live amateur pornography being filmed, don’t wear your letters.


Sometimes crafting can be horrifying.


Now that’s a solid selfie.


I think that’s a strange position to puke in, but whatever…everyone has their style.


Fake it till you make it.


Sweet gauges and lip ring, bravolski.


You could take an eye out with that hair.


Thataway, elf. Hold that elf slut’s hair.


That tat is dope.


Santa frats hard.


The two-legged chair claims a victim.


Peeing your pants and touching yourself. TFM.


There’s a lot of awkward going on here.


What the fuck is with you people and same-sex nipple licking?


“Get ‘er! You get her and I’ll get you! Get ‘er!”


So fabulously sratty, with a filter.


I don’t know what the fuck this is.


Jorts + sliding shorts + boots + hairy man ass = this photo

Wu really, really had to go:


Wu’s homies are way too okay with his behavior.

Sam hits a sorority party:

The Purdue Skulls are really fucking hardcore:

Chaser to wash away the bad:

Chapters one and nine of the TOTAL FRAT MOVE book are online now, read them here.

    1. 1922

      The submission was dumb as fuck, but there was no reason to bash SSB. If I could only have one game, that would be it.

      12 years ago at 1:39 pm
    2. cleavage

      FUCK THE INTERN. I’M CALLING FOR A RIOT AT THE TFM HEADQUARTERS AND WE WILL TAKE OVER THIS SITE. WE WILL RUN IT THE WAY WE DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE. TFRENCHREVOLUTIONFRATM

      12 years ago at 2:20 pm
    3. dorns big

      i saw this as a metaphor. the level 9 fox is a hot babe and the level 4 pikachu is that guys mini sized package

      12 years ago at 2:55 pm
    4. Plan B is Plan A

      Super Smash Brothers is like poker. It’s fun to play but if you actually tell people stories about playing it you’re a fucking nerd.

      12 years ago at 3:39 pm
    5. Plan B is Plan A

      ^ So you’re saying that Goldeneye is the worst video game ever made? Not sure I agree with that statement.

      12 years ago at 5:10 pm
    6. VolunteerTradition23

      Oh yeah, the fucking French revolution, because thats something we should relate to. The country who surrenders from every fucking war they enter.

      12 years ago at 10:28 pm
    7. cleavage

      I was referring to the french revolution in terms of a radical group taking over just like the storming of the bastille. Not the country that came about many years after you fuck.

      12 years ago at 4:39 am
    8. Fraternity Lifestyle

      No. Fuck that. Super Smash Bros. heroics are a step lower than hookup and drunk stories. Anyone that disagrees is gayer than a bag of AIDS.

      12 years ago at 1:43 pm
    9. Zero_FucksGiven

      Should have been TAmericanRevolutionMove because French = pussies America = Badass ur a fucking foreign geed if u don’t love America

      12 years ago at 9:23 am
  1. PAlion1

    Hey TFM your app and website for the iPad and iPhone suck cock. Use the money you get from your terrible ads on improving this rather than the black cock prostitutes that give it to you in the ass. I will rape all your moms.

    12 years ago at 1:35 pm
    1. ice cold frat

      ^This. I’ll never understand why people shoot children… Stabbing them is way more fun.

      12 years ago at 1:38 pm
  2. PAlion1

    If one person makes a joke about today’s shooting I will find you and rip off your own dick and make OU suck it yourself.

    12 years ago at 1:37 pm
    1. ice cold frat

      ^This. I’ll never understand why people shoot children… Stabbing them is way more fun.

      12 years ago at 1:38 pm
    2. Plan B is Plan A

      ^ a watermelon doesn’t scream when you put it in the microwave to warm it up prior to fucking it.

      12 years ago at 3:42 pm