FAIL FRIDAY: Next Level Garbage
Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and three videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Sticking your ballsack in your buddy’s face while he’s passed out and then having another buddy take a picture and adamantly denying you had a boner when you clearly had a giant erection because he is the hottest brother. TFM.
That escalated quickly.
Playing shitty music near your slam’s stomach to haze your unborn child. TFM.
Next level fetus hazing right here.
Telling the sorority girls that your “frat” even though you live in an off-campus apartment with your parents. TFM.
Frat!
Getting drunk before attending a brother’s funeral who died in an alcohol-related incident. TFM.
Come on, man. That’s not appropriate.
Not wearing sun screen because there aren’t any of your bros around to rub it in for you. TFM.
Pretty sad story, honestly.
Being the frattiest guy in the senior hallway of the all male dorm. TFM.
Like being the smartest kid on the short bus.
Your rep back at the house as a poon slayin’, pipe layin’, well just playing I’m really lonely. Take me back Karen!! TFM post so she will see?
Damn dude, pull yourself together. Karen doesn’t want you anymore.
Getting a boner from the vibrations of your riding lawn mower that is overkill for the shit lawn at your college house. TFTC.
Feels like that’s something we didn’t really need to know.
When a girl is all like “I think your car door is locked I can’t get out,” as you nod your head hand her a drink as you speed back to your place to bang. TFM.
Classic move.
Not washing my index and middle fingers for a whole week after the intercourse…if you know what I mean. Sniff sniff, because TFM.
I hope you get hit by an ice cream truck.
Bracketology has begun. And fuck it, March is overrated. We start in the South Region. The most “^’s” in the comment for each girls name moves on.
In the South Region.
#1 – Caitlin (Arizona State University) vs. #8 – Nikki (Texas State University)
Caitlin
We start off with the number one overall seed in the tourney in Caitlin. Unsurprisingly, she hales from the one of the top ranked IGBOTD schools in the nation, Arizona State University. She came in highly regarded as a freshman, and has only continued to blossom with her time there. Many believe she could bring the title home on the way to being the #1 draft pick in the 2016 Mock Wife Draft.
https://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/instagram-babe-of-the-day-caitlin-from-arizona-state-university/
Nikki
While she barely squeaked into the tourney, Nikki is no slouch. Southern girls have a certain charm, and this one knows how to use a gun to tag along with that. Add a sense of humor, and she is looking to make a run at the first ever upset of a number 1 seed. Odds are long, but never sleep on a Texas woman.
https://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/instagram-babe-of-the-day-nikki-from-texas-state-university/
In the South Region.
#2 Sara (Middle Tennessee State University) vs. #7 Anna (New Mexico State University)
Sara
Coming in strong out of nowhere, I can boldly say that I have no doubt Sara is the hottest thing walking on that campus, and on any campus in Tennessee. This blonde beauty is representing for all the small schools out there. Watch out for Sara, the closest thing to a ten you’ll see in the state of Tennessee.
https://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/instagram-babe-of-the-day-sara-from-middle-tennessee-state-university/
Anna
10 years ago at 2:10 pmComing out of New Mexico State, Anna sets up a great State school match-up. A bombshell with flexibility to match, this dancer has been distracting fans from watching what I assume is a terrible basketball team, and they couldn’t be happier.
https://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/instagram-babe-of-the-day-anna-from-new-mexico-state-university/
Vote for Caitlin
10 years ago at 2:10 pmVote for Nikki
10 years ago at 2:11 pmAt first I was impressed with the work. Then I kept scrolling.
10 years ago at 2:15 pmShut up and vote for Nikki
10 years ago at 2:19 pmAfter some research I have found out that Nikki has a kid. Should have stuck with the buttstuff.
10 years ago at 2:33 pmYOU’RE MY BOY BLUE!
10 years ago at 2:47 pmVote for Sara
10 years ago at 2:11 pmVote for Anna
10 years ago at 2:11 pmThis is stupid. I’m sorry, it looks like you put some work into it, however no one probably remembers who is who. Just stop.
10 years ago at 2:23 pmAnd I think a lot of people are on their phones meaning they can’t click the links you posted.
10 years ago at 2:24 pmDidn’t know posting pics of dimes would yield such a bitchy response. Are you Jezebel?
10 years ago at 2:35 pmI can appreciate the effort but the lack of organization and the fact that he’s trying on a comment board is just frustrating.
10 years ago at 2:37 pmI wish we had a forum to discuss this..
10 years ago at 2:24 pmAppreciate the effort kid, but this just can’t happen properly without at least a dedicated article or forums.
10 years ago at 2:34 pmDammit Dorn we’ve been nice just give us the fucking forums back. If you want, I’ll even take back what I said about your mother being a raging whore. Happy?
10 years ago at 2:35 pmTried to make it an article, TFM wouldn’t go for it. Thought I would at least give it a shot. Fuck it
10 years ago at 2:39 pmWas all of that time and effort worth the 51 upvotes? Because I doubt it.
10 years ago at 12:13 amHe put that work in for everyone, including you. Show some respect or keep scrolling.
10 years ago at 2:09 amWent to school with Sara, met her once (NF i know right, fuckin put me out of my misery) not to smart from what i know, but by god saying she might be the hottest gal in TN might not be an over-exaggeration. Shes a straight dime.
10 years ago at 2:45 pmGreat story guy, thanks for sharing it with us
10 years ago at 6:27 pmI wish I could actually give a fuck. I’d rather go to a strip club *cough* sorority *cough.
10 years ago at 8:57 pmThe bryan cam is just solid humor. Fuck you intern, you commie.
10 years ago at 2:18 pmThere’s a noticeable uptick in humidity whenever a girl uncrosses her legs in Bryan’s vicinity.
10 years ago at 2:29 pm“Maybe put some more kids in the pool.”
10 years ago at 2:55 pm-Dorn
Sigep with the W this week
10 years ago at 2:18 pmClever name, bub.
10 years ago at 12:03 amI’m surprised the Supreme Court didn’t make it on here.
10 years ago at 2:19 pmNo.
10 years ago at 2:33 pmAre you kidding? So letting the supreme court determine the laws put in place is a good thing? First, lets talk about how messed up it is that five people are deciding for an entire country. Second, these unelected officials are put in this particular position to interpret laws. They are not there to make them! Third, this a decision that belongs to the states to be made through a vote of the people. The fact the government is using unelected officials to dictate the rules in which we live by should be alarming to anyone who claims to be American and cares for American values. I’m not saying I agree or disagree with the law. What I am saying is that it was not a decision that should have been made by a few in black robes, but it was a decision to be made by WE THE PEOPLE. If you can not stand by that then you should go somewhere else where things like freedom, national pride, and a government run by the people is not.
10 years ago at 3:20 pmWell said.
10 years ago at 3:39 pmHonestly who gives a fuck, it doesn’t affect you. Just cuz two dudes can get hitched doesn’t mean intern is gonna get down on one knee for you and start planning your life together
10 years ago at 3:53 pmI still don’t know if I care that two dudes can be “married” now but the way the judicial system passed this law feels very slimy. 9 people were placed in the right seats at the right time and 5 just happened to vote one way and 4 the other. The fact that the American people as a whole didn’t have a say is disturbing. What are the ramifications to the Supreme Court with this much power?
10 years ago at 4:28 pmI don’t care about the gays being able or unable to marry either way. However, I don’t think that was the point that’s being made here. The supreme court should never be making laws. They are supposed to interpret not create them.
10 years ago at 4:31 pmPersonally, I do not give a shit about gay marriage and homosexuality apart from general disapproval on religious grounds. However, SCOTUS’ decision has undermined the Free Exercise Clause by allowing the government to regulate a religious institution. Furthermore, SCOTUS’ decision implies that the right of free exercise of religion is not protected outside of teaching it.
There is no tangible reason for a government to regulate marriage except for propagation of its tax base (read: procreation/babymaking etc) and by extension its financial liquidity and fiscal sustainability.
10 years ago at 4:33 pmIf you don’t give a fuck about the precedent it sets than you’re really not getting the big picture.
10 years ago at 4:36 pmMy bad, I interpreted your comment to be just like “haha TFM fuck gay people,” not about the legislatial process itself. On that note, I’m inclined to agree with you, but (and I know I’ll most likely get downvoted to oblivion for this), in my opinion, the importance of the outcome in this instance more than precedes however it got there.
10 years ago at 6:02 pmI figured you thought that was my intent. I just wanted to make sure you (and everyone else for that matter) knew the meaning of my post. To inform and not to slander
10 years ago at 7:07 pm“RenegadeRider69” lol
10 years ago at 9:30 pmHaha someone gets it. Go Noles!
10 years ago at 9:54 pmGood for you then, I’m serious. It’s nice to have an intelligent conversation on a site like this. Sometimes I feel like the “satire” aspect gets too out of hand on here and I guess it just gets to me. People like you make me think otherwise. Respect, man, and have a great weekend.
10 years ago at 3:51 amTo you as well.
10 years ago at 8:06 amThey didn’t create a law that made gay marriage legal; they decided that a law stating that gay marriage isn’t allowed is unconstitutional. Please learn something about your own country’s judicial/political system before you complain about the supreme court’s decision.
10 years ago at 5:45 pmFuckin SIIIGGGSSSS
10 years ago at 2:21 pmThe fuck are you talking about?
10 years ago at 2:22 pmYou’re the intern, you piece of shit. Before you delete my comment again, consider chugging bleach.
10 years ago at 2:29 pmSaw it as well
10 years ago at 9:36 pmThe fuck are you talking about?
10 years ago at 2:37 pmCharlotte McKinney it hurts so dadgum much. Lordy.
10 years ago at 2:23 pmIt’s almost 3:30 EST. What the fuck have you been doing all day that this is so late?
10 years ago at 2:28 pmNo intern wasn’t doing anyone. Dorn was doing the Intern. Classic mixup.
10 years ago at 5:07 pmWhat’s with the tampons this week?
10 years ago at 2:29 pmSig Ep takeover
10 years ago at 2:29 pmFuck sig ep. They wanted gay marriage.
10 years ago at 2:31 pm