FAIL FRIDAY: Power Moves Gone Wrong
12 years ago

Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and four videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Rewarding myself with a brand new polo every time my frat meat grows an inch. I have 78 polos. TFM.
-Tennessee

That’s at least a 78-inch slab of frat meat. How do you conceal it? Wrap it all around your body underneath your clothing?

Putting your Xbox achievements on your college transcripts. TFM.
-Virginia

Every little bit helps.

Look at you! Now look at us! Me and all my bros look Frat as F**k! TFM.
-New Jersey

This guy’s username is “FrattyKanye.” I had to share that.

Waking up in Chubbies even though you don’t own a pair. TFM.
-Florida

Waking up wearing another man’s Chubbies might be gayer than actually sucking a penis.

After fucking a slam and her asking you to cuddle and you simply respond with “Does Johnny Manziel cuddle?” and than leaving. TFM.
-Pennsylvania

I’m doing this when my mom tells me to do the dishes. “Does Johnny Manziel do the fucking dishes?”

Gettin faded with my bros chugging brews smashing honeys. Yeah, I think it’s a TFM.
–New York

You thought wrong, chief.

Asking a pledge to borrow his phone and then just throwing it in the toilet and shitting on it. TFM.
-Alabama

That’s a power move.

Only shaving the right side of your bush so that your slams know that the left is nothing but a dirty, unkempt mess. TFM.
–Kansas

Seems like a pretty extreme way to make a simple political statement.

When a girl is all like, “My sister is the bravest person I know, she has cancer and still goes and volunteers at the youth center,” as you nod your head and hand her a drink as you lead her back to your house to bang. TFM.
-Pennsylvania

Feelings and emotions are for geeds.

Grabbing your slam by the vulva and proclaiming, “The Poon Commander is taking control.” TFM.
-Kansas

Grabbing vulva is the new handshake.

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Grocery store fun!

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My fist wants to make love to all four of their faces.

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I’m sure your alumni advisor thinks this is hilarious.

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I’d haze them, but they’d probably sexually enjoy it.

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I give this photo two thumbs down.

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Can’t tell if this is an intentional photobomb or the most awkward photo ever.

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You’re doing it wrong.

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Raging with two Winnie the Poohs. TFM.

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Don’t drop that thun thun.

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Looks like a comfy bed.

Continue to page 2 for more photos and videos…

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  3. natty_splatties

    Intern you’d better watch the fuck out. I’m in the airport about to get on a plane to Austin. When I get there, we’re going to have a bad motherfucking time. I will walk onto the TFM office, knock you the fuck out and throw you in the trunk of my rental van. We’ll take the short trip to my chapter house at UT Austin. I’m not even going to say high to any brothers, who I’m sure are all heads and tails cooler than you. We’re going straight to the basement. I will keep you here for months on end, nobody at the TFM office will even notice, despite being a bunch of big gay shitbags, one of Dorn’s inbred illigitimate children will do your work faster and better for a hot dog per day.

    We’re staying in the basement until you die. I’ll start every morning off waterboarding you with Ten High and piss until you vomit. Every week I’ll give you a compilation of the shitty fucking posts that Dorn allows on this website, and you’ll make me a personal Fail Friday that I can read every Friday morning while eating a cheese sandwich. The rest of your days will be spent getting violently hazed in whatever way I see fit.

    When you’ve finally achieved a whiter skin color than Bacon, which should take a while, we can end this. You’ll be submitted to a ritualistic beheading with the same guillotine we use to blackball fucks like you during pledging. I’m sure they have one at the UT chapter. I’ll have your big gay blurry head stuffed and mounted in my living room, and your tiny little pussy balls in a jar of embalming fluid in my office. The rest of your body will be mixed in with the beef at the local Whataburger, and the entire TFM office will consume part of you in the next few weeks.

    With Regards,
    Natty Frattin Splatties

    PS:

    12 years ago at 11:54 am
    3. Marylin MonBROe

      Intern,
      Based on the unbelievably stupid shit you post, I can see your parents lobbying congress one day to put warning labels on electronic dildos as a result of your accidental death via butt-fucking yourself in a bathtub.

      12 years ago at 12:42 pm
    4. FrattingHard_est1855

      ^ What the fuck is wrong with you? Stop trying so hard to make the mean comments video twat.

      12 years ago at 1:33 pm
    5. natty_splatties

      It’s tough to get the intern on mean comments because there’s so much competition. Bacon read one of mine in the latest video, wasn’t even trying for it.

      12 years ago at 1:38 pm
  6. Commander in Chief

    Motion to have Redcorn and ruger make a column. It would be a picture book with short stories. We could call it, life as a Poon Commander. Its a TFM.

    12 years ago at 11:57 am