FAIL FRIDAY: Shit Gets Out of Hand
13 years ago

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Saw my slampiece on the Victoria Secrets show last night. I called her and asked why she wasn’t in the kitchen. TFM.
–Nebraska

No, no you didn’t.

Using the fishing hook on your hat after you forgot the tackle box at home. TFM.
–Florida

Everyone knows you’re the ultimate fisherman with no friends when you rock a hat with a fucking fish hook on it.

Making relatives from the other side of the family leave a funeral and change because they were wearing either cargo pants, braided belts, or zip up ties. TFM.
–North Carolina

I’m sorry for your loss, but I’d rather be dead than hang with your NF family.

If she’s old enough to pee then she’s old enough for me. TFM.
–Indiana

Your entire family, and most of the community, is disturbed by you.

Slamming through the dick pain. TFM.
–Georgia

Don’t let that extreme case of chaffing keep your from getting it in.

I’m not a legacy, because my dad was the first guy at an all girl school. They didn’t have any fraternities on campus, because there were only a few males on campus. He got in because my grandfather donated so much money to the school. TFM.
–North Carolina

No amount of explanation could validate this guy’s existence.

Blowing your load in a girl’s ass before you go down on it. What good is tossing salad without ranch? TFM.
–Oklahoma

Ranch can make almost any meal more enjoyable. But this one? No.

Giving your hot cousin the shocker after the rest of your family trypto-passes the fuck out. TFM.
–Florida

What about your creepy Aunt that stays awake and watches?

Buying a table from Walmart to play pong on in my dorm room for a night then returning it the next day for a full refund. TFM.
-South Carolina

Total Welfare Move.

My GDI roommate is wicked annoying. Whenever he speaks out of line I point my inferred laser pen into his eye and remind him that GDIs only speak when spoken too. I employ similar tactics on my dog. TFM.
-Connecticut

You couldn’t pay me to hang out with this guy.


I guess the bathroom was occupied, so he threw in a fat lip and shit a brick in a bowl.


I bet she looked like a 10 the night before.


This is what happens when a dumbass tries to pack a can. What the fuck is he wearing?


“These chicks aren’t into us, bro. Fuck it. Come here.”


Sometimes you party hard and shit gets out of hand.

Georgia goes for LSU’s jugular and fails horribly. There’s a little person with an afro towards the end:

    5. fratmydickbitch

      I just ordered a whole new shipment of fucks. Guess I’m behind the curve. Now I’ll have no one to give them to.

      13 years ago at 12:33 pm
    7. Ronald_Ragean

      Total Sue Reid Move for that last picture. Google her of you’re not familiar.

      13 years ago at 3:06 pm
    2. SouthernByGodsGrace

      He might be talking about all the actual shit. Now I feel like I have the beershits after looking at this column.

      13 years ago at 11:56 am
    4. Year Around Frat

      Your name still implies you’re only a sophomore and not even a leader yet. Hell, I’m a has-been leader in the fraternity.

      13 years ago at 9:05 pm
    5. brother sigma

      I believe that is why his name is “futureleader14” and not “currentleader14.”

      Also, do you not let sophomores run for exec board?

      13 years ago at 7:31 pm
    6. Year Around Frat

      He always has to ruin all our fun. We were just starting some new activities too.

      13 years ago at 9:00 pm
    7. futureleader14

      Leave it to Obama to tell us what to do, even though it’s probably the wrong move..

      13 years ago at 12:09 am
    8. Obama is a cactus

      I don’t see Obama telling you pansies what to do. My username is Obama is a cactus. It’s a sentence, not a fucking name.

      13 years ago at 7:07 pm
    9. Year Around Frat

      This future leader is probably a manager at mcdonalds in two years. He was probably hazed with pillow fights as a pledge.

      13 years ago at 12:12 am
    10. Toofratforschool

      Obama, you mad bro? Usually you do a good job of controlling your emotions, but you’re slipping. How do you plan on getting re-elected with all that queer talk?

      13 years ago at 8:57 am
    11. Obama is a cactus

      ^If I was president the first thing I would do is ball you to earn the respect and support of people who matter. The next thing I would do is an eight ball to the face and take it from there.

      13 years ago at 9:53 pm
    12. futureleader14

      To that subtly homosexual sigep reference guy, tell that to my boss, the chairman of the best managed savings bank in the country.

      13 years ago at 1:22 am
    13. FratJedi

      Dear Obama is a cactus: I hope I never meet you, because you suck. Talking to you would definitely ruin my day. Enjoy the 8 ball in the bathroom by yourself.

      13 years ago at 7:23 pm
    14. Obama is a cactus

      Dear Frat Jedi: go fuck yourself. You’re a fucking pussy and I’ll fucking haze you if you don’t step the fuck up. I’ll knock you out and rub my 1% balls across your face you queer.

      13 years ago at 2:30 am
  9. FraterdayAfternoon

    Looks like the intern quit slacking. Made my Friday morning a little more enjoyable.

    13 years ago at 11:39 am