FAIL FRIDAY: Snorting Bath Salts
Ten real submissions, nine photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
My dad gave me two tips when I left for college: don’t sit on the toilet too long or you’ll get hemorrhoids. TFM.
–Alaska
Even if I assumed the concept of TFM hasn’t quite translated in some parts of Alaska, that was still only one tip and a weird one at that.
Took two hits of Viagra to get my fuck on. Ended up in the ER getting my balls drained with a needle longer than my dick. TFM.
-Georgia
So it’s safe to assume you had an erection lasting longer than four hours?
Just got my grade report: 0.75. Delayed my graduation, but I did better than Bluto from Animal House. TFM.
–Michigan
We’re all very proud of you.
Went to surprise my girlfriend at Auburn and walked in on her blowing a dude with an orange mohawk. I kicked him in the dick and called her a fucking geed banger. TFM.
-Alabama
If by some miracle there is video footage of this, I will pay $500 for it.
Getting tossed out of the strip club for screaming “Show me your asshole!” at the dancers. TFM.
–Texas
You’ve got to be tipping hard to make demands like that and get away with it.
Since I was 10, every summer I’ve flown to Mexico to do missionary work. This year I tried to start my own fraternity with the locals. Our pastor asked me to fly home early. TFM.
-Oklahoma
Viva el frat.
Snorting a mound of bath salts and eating a pledge’s face. TFM.
–Arkansas
This zombie apocalypse is getting out of control.
My mom walked in on me spanking it to my little sister’s bestfriend’s Facebook. TFM.
– Massachusetts
Damn that’s awkward and totally unrelated to this website.
Last night I set a bar on fire during that “tonight we are young so let’s set the world on fire” song. It burned to the ground. My parents are pissed. TFM.
–Virginia
They should be happy you didn’t burn down the banana stand, you flamer.
Every time I black out I wake up wearing a Victoria’s Secret thong and a blonde wig with the name “Martina” written across my chest in Sharpie. TFM.
–Washington
Why don’t you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family, and have some real problems, jackass.
This chapter is making a conscious effort to legitimize cargo shorts.
Twenty beers and I’ll still tit fuck that thing. TFTC.
Guys like this ruin “Anything But Clothes” parties.
This is not how you want to end your night.
This is how you want to end your night.
What the fuck was the theme of this party? Was there even a party?
“Look it’s the Leaning Tower of Pisa! Let’s drop our pants!” No wonder everyone hates us.
This guy ralphed up two pounds of fresh spaghetti, roll over and went back to sleep.
This attempt at rap makes Vanilla Ice look as black as Wesley Snipes:
She has less rhythm than a blind Chinese man in a honky tonk.
I wake up and thank my parents that I’m fucking paid:
Family money couldn’t get them onto an actual golf course, or at least a driving range to shoot?
And now your chasers. First, women doing housework in lingerie:
Women shooting guns and blowing things up in lingerie:
Get stoned and tell me both of those videos aren’t terrifyingly awesome.
If you missed last week’s Fail Friday, CLICK HERE.
Auburn…FaF
12 years ago at 9:19 amI hope the “Family Money” guys die of impending morbid obesity
12 years ago at 9:24 amFucking love the song
12 years ago at 9:57 amFunny post intern. That song is fucking awesome tho. Those kids are hilarious
12 years ago at 3:06 pmA cool story for you boys (I know I’m gonna catch hell for it, so in advance, fuck you), but Dyl Staxx, the larger of the two Chalk Boyz, is the older brother of my roommate and fraternity brother.
12 years ago at 5:29 pmim not gonna lie, i laughed my ass
12 years ago at 2:57 pmIntern Fail. The video is pure genius you idiots!! Hate if you want but im a fan afterfinding more of their songs. Chalk boys > Mike stud
12 years ago at 2:41 pmI went to high school with those two fucks. They are dipshits. That is all
12 years ago at 12:30 amAlso, Intern, how do we know pics like #2 are even from fraternities? Just looks like average high schoolers..
12 years ago at 9:26 amI just have to take the submitter’s word for it. Have you developed an algorithm that can verify Greek membership?
12 years ago at 9:43 am^
12 years ago at 9:53 am^^
12 years ago at 9:56 amFraternities- Chill : pull
12 years ago at 10:33 amSororities- P = Cup*C’s-squared
You just got Algorithm’d, bitch.
12 years ago at 10:49 amhaha
12 years ago at 12:56 pm#2 is definitely a fraternity.
12 years ago at 2:57 pmAll in favor to permanently blackball TKEpledge? Get the fuck out
12 years ago at 3:12 pmI know the guys in pic number 2. Theyre Phi Delta Theta at my old school.
12 years ago at 10:27 pmMinnesota Pikes may have more appearances than any other chapter on fail Friday. Those guys suck, literally
12 years ago at 9:29 am^
12 years ago at 9:30 amTruely an embarrasement
12 years ago at 9:38 am^^^This guy
12 years ago at 9:41 am^These guys.
12 years ago at 10:41 am^^^^^ I couldn’t have said it better myself.
12 years ago at 1:55 pm^Those guys
12 years ago at 2:41 pmSomeone must be stalking them…
12 years ago at 12:54 amAlways having money in the Banana Stand, TFM.
12 years ago at 9:30 am^
12 years ago at 9:40 amNo touching!
12 years ago at 10:03 am….I’ve made a huge mistake.
12 years ago at 10:37 amCOME ON!
12 years ago at 10:51 amThese are $4000 pants! Come on!
12 years ago at 11:35 am^ $4000 suit**
But no laps for you sir. Knowing the general antics of Gob shall never be penalized.
12 years ago at 11:53 amYeah, the guy wearing the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn’t make that in four months. COME ON!
12 years ago at 12:12 pmYeah, but where did the lighter fluid come from?
12 years ago at 12:17 pmAll of these.
12 years ago at 3:48 pmArrested Development FAF
My mom walked in on me spanking my little sister’s bestfriend. TFM.
12 years ago at 9:32 am^
12 years ago at 10:00 amMy mom walked in on my spanking my little sister. TSanduskyM
12 years ago at 3:13 pm^*TFratduskyM
12 years ago at 10:28 pmMy mom walked in on me spanking my little brother.* TFratduskyM
12 years ago at 3:10 pmThe kid wanking it to his sisters friends facebook is 100% that asshole MassholderStu
12 years ago at 9:35 am^
12 years ago at 10:05 amNo MashholderStu is the tranny being motorboated
12 years ago at 10:41 am*Mashholder Stu
12 years ago at 11:20 am^^^^also, massholder stu? thats not how you spell it, you must be related to fratdusky
12 years ago at 11:21 amDoes anyone actually care how it’s spelled?
12 years ago at 4:45 pmBut I liked it when he grabbed my wiener.
12 years ago at 9:37 amIntern: how do you let two visible dicks slip through the filter but never any titties
12 years ago at 9:37 amThere were tits in both chasers. See through lingerie.
12 years ago at 9:44 amTook care of one rogue dick. Where is the other?
12 years ago at 9:54 amWe’ve got a dick on the loose people, stay alert.
12 years ago at 10:52 amcatch Richard
12 years ago at 1:22 pmthere he goes!!!
12 years ago at 2:22 pmbitching about the lack of tits on the internet. TFTC
12 years ago at 3:19 pmSwdh
12 years ago at 3:41 pmAre you crazy? There was money in that bar!
12 years ago at 9:39 amHe’s a flamer.
12 years ago at 9:41 amThere’s always money in the banana stand
12 years ago at 3:35 pm