FAIL FRIDAY: Snorting Bath Salts
Ten real submissions, nine photos, and two videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
My dad gave me two tips when I left for college: don’t sit on the toilet too long or you’ll get hemorrhoids. TFM.
–Alaska
Even if I assumed the concept of TFM hasn’t quite translated in some parts of Alaska, that was still only one tip and a weird one at that.
Took two hits of Viagra to get my fuck on. Ended up in the ER getting my balls drained with a needle longer than my dick. TFM.
-Georgia
So it’s safe to assume you had an erection lasting longer than four hours?
Just got my grade report: 0.75. Delayed my graduation, but I did better than Bluto from Animal House. TFM.
–Michigan
We’re all very proud of you.
Went to surprise my girlfriend at Auburn and walked in on her blowing a dude with an orange mohawk. I kicked him in the dick and called her a fucking geed banger. TFM.
-Alabama
If by some miracle there is video footage of this, I will pay $500 for it.
Getting tossed out of the strip club for screaming “Show me your asshole!” at the dancers. TFM.
–Texas
You’ve got to be tipping hard to make demands like that and get away with it.
Since I was 10, every summer I’ve flown to Mexico to do missionary work. This year I tried to start my own fraternity with the locals. Our pastor asked me to fly home early. TFM.
-Oklahoma
Viva el frat.
Snorting a mound of bath salts and eating a pledge’s face. TFM.
–Arkansas
This zombie apocalypse is getting out of control.
My mom walked in on me spanking it to my little sister’s bestfriend’s Facebook. TFM.
– Massachusetts
Damn that’s awkward and totally unrelated to this website.
Last night I set a bar on fire during that “tonight we are young so let’s set the world on fire” song. It burned to the ground. My parents are pissed. TFM.
–Virginia
They should be happy you didn’t burn down the banana stand, you flamer.
Every time I black out I wake up wearing a Victoria’s Secret thong and a blonde wig with the name “Martina” written across my chest in Sharpie. TFM.
–Washington
Why don’t you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family, and have some real problems, jackass.
This chapter is making a conscious effort to legitimize cargo shorts.
Twenty beers and I’ll still tit fuck that thing. TFTC.
Guys like this ruin “Anything But Clothes” parties.
This is not how you want to end your night.
This is how you want to end your night.
What the fuck was the theme of this party? Was there even a party?
“Look it’s the Leaning Tower of Pisa! Let’s drop our pants!” No wonder everyone hates us.
This guy ralphed up two pounds of fresh spaghetti, roll over and went back to sleep.
This attempt at rap makes Vanilla Ice look as black as Wesley Snipes:
She has less rhythm than a blind Chinese man in a honky tonk.
I wake up and thank my parents that I’m fucking paid:
Family money couldn’t get them onto an actual golf course, or at least a driving range to shoot?
And now your chasers. First, women doing housework in lingerie:
Women shooting guns and blowing things up in lingerie:
Get stoned and tell me both of those videos aren’t terrifyingly awesome.
If you missed last week’s Fail Friday, CLICK HERE.
Still damn proud
12 years ago at 11:11 amCool story.
12 years ago at 3:26 pmSecond to last picture is from SUNY Binghamton. The scary part is that Pi Lam there is top tier
12 years ago at 11:19 ampi lam as a whole really sucks. 35 chapters nationally and 32-33 of them fucking blow.
12 years ago at 9:39 amFucking pikes are the god damned offspring of Cain, I swear.
12 years ago at 11:36 amCool man.
12 years ago at 1:01 am^butthurt pike
12 years ago at 1:57 pmI’ve got one thing to say and one thing only…………………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuHILqDIvis
That is all.
12 years ago at 11:40 amI too was going to ask the Intern why the fuck half of the pictures are posted these days seeing as they have no fraternal affiliation. Keep up the good work on calling out the chapters as you see them, fellas.
Also, Intern, gramatical error on the spaghetti puke picture. I’ve gotta believe he rolled over.
12 years ago at 11:59 amYOU KNOW WHAT HE MEANT, DICKHEAD.
12 years ago at 1:06 pmactually the caption is completely wrong, it was hawaiin punch and odesse vodka in a power hour, i ate no spaghetti
12 years ago at 1:22 pmThe Chalkboyz went to Webster Groves in Saint Louis, MO
about as GDI as it gets
12 years ago at 12:05 pmGood story.
12 years ago at 1:16 pmGetting thrown off a youth missionary trip for trying to start a fraternity with the locals? So. Much. Win.
12 years ago at 1:16 pmFucking hollister. That’s hardcore shit still wearing that.
12 years ago at 2:40 pmGeorge Bluth. TFM.
12 years ago at 3:31 pmGob Bluth FaF
12 years ago at 3:43 pmOscar Bluth. NF
12 years ago at 3:50 pmGeorge Bluth. FAF
Only in Fail Friday should the comments outweigh the Nice Moves. If this is the case in any of your TFMs, then you totally failed.
12 years ago at 3:34 pm