Fail Friday: Sperry Blisters
13 years ago

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Nickelback. NF. Nickelback basically describing my life through the song “Rockstar.” TFM.
-Oklahoma

That song does have super fratty lyrics (I hope you’re picking up my sarcasm because I’m laying it on pretty thick).

Mandatory chapter bukkake. TFM.
-Georgia

If you don’t do chapter bukkake, what do you do?

Slamming my daughter’s sorority sisters on Alumni weekend. TFM.
-Washington

This behavior is completely inappropriate for a father.

Using a vodka soaked tampon as a suppository to ensure you still blow a 0.00 BAC. TFTC.
-Texas

Does anyone know what the fuck he’s talking about?

When sorostitutes do the skinny arm it makes me want to stick my dick in their arm pit. TFM.
-Tennessee

Lube that armpit up and give it a good sexing.

My slam asked why I came in her after she asked me not to. Well, my dick is allergic to vagina so it sneezed. TFM.
-North Carolina

Your dick needs a cortisone shot.

Getting fucked up on Muscle Milk martinis. TFM.
-Louisiana

This is such a clever variation of an old joke.

Putting a brother in a cold shower, leaving for Huddle House, and coming back 45 minutes later to find him passed out on top of the drain with his room flooded and the roof leaking water downstairs into the chapter room. TFM.
-Texas

Great idea. Next time someone’s passed out, put them in a full bathtub.

Last week I lost a condom when performing the quick pull out, remove condom, and re-insert move on some random. My penis found it today when she asked for 2nds. TFM.
-Michigan

Gross.


What we have here is three stone cold pimps.


Multiple men participating in “The Little Boy Pee.”


Slip-n-slide? More like flop-n-slowly-jiggle-a-few-feet.


At least he got his zipper down before pissing his shorts.


This pledge centipede reeks of heterosexuality.

I’ve been saving this all week. Kid wants a formal apology from Rainbow and Sperry:

  2. FrattyGras

    how do you headline a column, and continue to fail so hard that you make your second appearance on fail friday the next day!?!

    13 years ago at 11:03 am
  3. runninginthewetgrass

    “but luckily, my parents love me, and bought me Ramen”
    that’s true love. I’m sure wearing socks with sperrys is the only reason you got laughed at when you went to this fraternity party. I’m sure it’s a joke. pretty funny though

    13 years ago at 11:04 am
  4. Frappa Fralpha

    “my dad is a corporate lawyer for exxon mobile… so he basically runs the world” not true but FaF

    13 years ago at 11:04 am
  6. BROwnOutOfProportion

    His dad’s a lawyer at Exxon Mobil and owns the world, and he loves his son so much that he bought him Ramen. TFM

    13 years ago at 11:07 am
  8. Michael_Moore

    I don’t know if you know about Polo, but they think they made those shits out of magical cotton….

    13 years ago at 11:08 am
    1. Fratstar Runner

      You put it through your ass, so you can get drunk. However, breathylizers measure how much alcohol is on your breath. So if you get drunk through your ass, you can rage and still blow a 0.00. Although a blood test would still reveal you’re drunk as shit.

      13 years ago at 12:54 pm
    2. Fratisimus Dorsi

      Actually, a breathalyzer measures how much alcohol is in your blood, which is why BAC stands for “blood alcohol content” instead of “breath alcohol contact. Fucking dumbass. And you can’t fool one anyway, because alcohol is transfered from your blood to your breath in your lungs through the alveoli. Take a lap.

      13 years ago at 3:48 pm
  11. Beau Santos

    “Responsible for saving lives.” And sorry that they don’t put a label on saying not to wear it with socks, but that’s a given, like not wearing flatbrim caps and headphones around your neck. Oh, my bad…..

    13 years ago at 11:24 am