Fail Friday: Sperry Blisters
13 years ago

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Nickelback. NF. Nickelback basically describing my life through the song “Rockstar.” TFM.
-Oklahoma

That song does have super fratty lyrics (I hope you’re picking up my sarcasm because I’m laying it on pretty thick).

Mandatory chapter bukkake. TFM.
-Georgia

If you don’t do chapter bukkake, what do you do?

Slamming my daughter’s sorority sisters on Alumni weekend. TFM.
-Washington

This behavior is completely inappropriate for a father.

Using a vodka soaked tampon as a suppository to ensure you still blow a 0.00 BAC. TFTC.
-Texas

Does anyone know what the fuck he’s talking about?

When sorostitutes do the skinny arm it makes me want to stick my dick in their arm pit. TFM.
-Tennessee

Lube that armpit up and give it a good sexing.

My slam asked why I came in her after she asked me not to. Well, my dick is allergic to vagina so it sneezed. TFM.
-North Carolina

Your dick needs a cortisone shot.

Getting fucked up on Muscle Milk martinis. TFM.
-Louisiana

This is such a clever variation of an old joke.

Putting a brother in a cold shower, leaving for Huddle House, and coming back 45 minutes later to find him passed out on top of the drain with his room flooded and the roof leaking water downstairs into the chapter room. TFM.
-Texas

Great idea. Next time someone’s passed out, put them in a full bathtub.

Last week I lost a condom when performing the quick pull out, remove condom, and re-insert move on some random. My penis found it today when she asked for 2nds. TFM.
-Michigan

Gross.


What we have here is three stone cold pimps.


Multiple men participating in “The Little Boy Pee.”


Slip-n-slide? More like flop-n-slowly-jiggle-a-few-feet.


At least he got his zipper down before pissing his shorts.


This pledge centipede reeks of heterosexuality.

I’ve been saving this all week. Kid wants a formal apology from Rainbow and Sperry:

  4. Southern Hospitality

    Did nobody else catch the intern saying “heterosexuality”? That means straight.

    13 years ago at 1:51 pm
    1. Ostate1848

      Apparently you didn’t pick up on his sarcasm. You might want to stay out of here for a while.

      13 years ago at 1:56 pm
  6. joshposhpoint0

    You can take this video as a joke, and then I’ll sue the bejesus out of you

    13 years ago at 2:03 pm
  7. CEO of Sperrys

    Dear Lance Diamond,

    Here is your response… You are a tool who will do anything to gain attention and seem funny. We don’t give a fuck if your dad is a corporate lawyer for Exxon-Mobil because he obviously has bigger issues to worry about than one blister on your foot. We will not put a warning label on our products nor will you receive any apology or monetary compensation from our company. Further, we will not send you any shoes to give to your friends because if they associate with you, they are obviously not worthy of wearing our product. Good luck getting the blood out of your Polo socks. Maybe if you weren’t such a fat fuck you could find a slampiece to wash them for you (maybe it’s the McChickens?). By the way, I don’t think it was the socks that made you look like an idiot (i.e.: diamond flatbill hat?). No, it’s not fair that your shoes gave you blister but I believe that part of going to college is learning some of life’s hard lessons. Lance, if I could sit on my ass all day watching SportsCenter and “chilling” on my Facebook and Twitter while occasionally playing Xbox, I would. But, I have a company to run. Life just isn’t fair, is it? If your parents really loved you, they wouldn’t have bought you Ramen noodles. Is that Great Value water you’re drinking as well? I’m sure a corporate lawyer at Exxon-Mobil could treat you better than that. I’m sure you won’t die of starvation anytime soon (again, maybe it was the McChickens?). Finally, we will not put our products in water because then they wouldn’t be a new shoe and we aren’t a thrift store. It’s no wonder why your room mate moved out on you, I could barely listen to six and a half minutes of your bullshit. I can’t imagine what he thought when he found out he’d have to put up with an entire school year of it.

    I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

    13 years ago at 2:05 pm
    1. Pharaoh of Frats

      The company’s name is Sperry, not Sperrys. Nice try though, maybe next year kid.

      13 years ago at 2:07 pm
  9. BallsAlwaysOut

    And I also demand a liter cola to go with my McChickens! When did Farva start at VT?

    13 years ago at 2:27 pm
  10. Brewski4Broski

    He cried cause of the frustration. TFTC
    Try something to get your nasty ass feet to stop sweating you pussy.

    13 years ago at 2:29 pm