FAIL FRIDAY: STDs and Champagne Dreams
13 years ago

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Carry on my wayward bro, there’ll be beer when you get low. Lay your neon tank to rest, don’t you rage no more. TFM.
–Alabama

Congratulations you took a classic tune and made the gayest remix ever.

Always putting soda in the water cup. TFTC.
–California

You are the Robin Hood of the soda fountain.

Watching a 24-year-old alumni schoolteacher rage so hard he pisses into a bag of Doritos and then eats some. TFM.
–Maine

He makes 30K a year and rolls into town for the weekend to eat chips covered in his own piss. Class act.

Real men don’t wipe, that’s what pledges are for. TFM.
–Texas

You’re that active who takes “funny” hazing too far, and everyone thinks you’re demented.

Trying to figure out what the plural form of getting the same STD is cause you got burned 3 times. TFM.
–Ohio

I’m going to call you Herpules.

Using this site for 3 years and forgetting that there is a TSM wall. TFM.
–Colorado

This site was founded in 2010 you lying fuck.

Elephant walking with a certain swagger, and using dip spit for lube. TFM.
–Louisiana

Twisting a W. quote for homoerotic purposes is just wrong.

Hazing the fuck out of my apartment cockroaches with my paddle. TFM.
–North Carolina

It pains me to know that somewhere there is a lonesome bottom-tier in a shanty bashing insects with his paddle.

Using condoms as balloons on your girlfriend’s birthday so birthday sex will involve the classic raw dawg since you ran out of protection. TFM.
–Georgia

The logic here makes my brain hurt.

Getting shitfaced in my Federal Boob Inspector shirt in honor of the FBI keeping ‘Merica safe from terrorism. TFM.
–Maryland

You are the permanent ultimate spring breaker.


Take note: this is not the way you want your night to end.


They’re just three guys, fratting hard, on a pink fucking scooter.


Pumping iron in a polo that has been attacked by the sleeve monster with your letters on the popped collar. NF.


Maybe the most unappealing party ever.


Damn it STOP getting these tattoos. Even the losers in the background look disgusted.

Meathead pitifully “chugs” Cristal in an ironic attempt to shock and offend:

    2. Frat_Race

      that guy took so long to chug that bottle. a guy in my fraternity could do it in 9.7 seconds. Fact.

      13 years ago at 1:34 am
  3. pkp

    Thus ends the streak. Damn it guys.

    Side note: How is the fourth picture fraternity related?

    13 years ago at 10:13 am
    6. Woodbro Chillson

      The picture last Friday of the guy asking his slam to be Facebook official was a Pi Kapp also. Same Colorado State chapter.

      13 years ago at 1:04 pm
    9. Wastinshells

      As Zeta Phi alumn. I promise these naive gents will put an end to this behavior. I will personally be showing up to meeting on Monday.

      13 years ago at 1:52 pm
    12. Wastinshells

      Update: one brother volunteers to get a tattoo that some of the other brothers pay for and pick out. They try to think of the most embarrassing things to select. Ive seen a guy get a cartoon orange shedding tear over a carton of orange juice, a gnome drinking a mug of beer, a giraffe throwing a trident, etc…

      13 years ago at 2:32 pm
    13. Saint_Fratrics_day

      If you post a link of the picture of the giraffe throwing a trident, I will forgive this.

      13 years ago at 4:06 pm
    17. Saint_Fratrics_day

      Not quite the quality I had hoped for, but still hilarious. You are forgiven.

      13 years ago at 11:53 pm
    21. Toofratforschool

      alpha frat. “Pi phi for guys?” what the hell are you talking about you geed? I didn’t know they had sororities for guys now. Is that what you’re in?

      13 years ago at 10:58 am
    22. Alpha Frat

      Pi Kappa Phi is one word off from the sorority Pi Beta Phi, whose common nickname is “Pi Phis”. Someone cleverly made a nickname for Pi Kappa Phi as “Pi Phi for guys”. Seeing as how they have gay members, it seemed fitting. Also, you are fucking stupid.

      13 years ago at 12:23 am
  4. Brother of Gaw

    Surprised this is actually up pretty early, I’m also surprised I’m up this fucking early

    13 years ago at 10:15 am
  5. Year Around Frat

    I laughed pretty hard at the doritos one. And what the hell with that meathead; he didn’t even finish the bottle.

    13 years ago at 10:15 am
    2. deltahousewifedelta

      I can’t believe I wasted valuable time watching that… back to the kitchen 🙂

      13 years ago at 1:17 pm
    5. Fratnhard

      Pi Kap aka Pi Crap aka Pi Shit…..Thanks for keeping us entertained two out of the last three weeks. What a pathetic chapter.

      13 years ago at 1:43 pm
    6. CaddyFrat

      ^You’re inability to formulate a logical or humorous insult pains me. I am insulted that you and I were both admitted to collegiate institutions. I hope you get fucked by a cactus for your lack of intellect

      13 years ago at 12:55 am
    8. Fratnhard

      You must be a CSU Pi Kap CaddyFrat? All I have to say is, I’m sorry. It must suck being the joke around here, but hey, I’m glad you took the bid.

      13 years ago at 1:29 am
    5. The Frat Czar

      I wish I could make a definitive judgement as to whether that was a UNT Pike pic or not, but they have at least 300 members and I prefer not knowing even a few of them.

      13 years ago at 7:53 pm