FAIL FRIDAY: STDs and Champagne Dreams
Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Carry on my wayward bro, there’ll be beer when you get low. Lay your neon tank to rest, don’t you rage no more. TFM.
–Alabama
Congratulations you took a classic tune and made the gayest remix ever.
Always putting soda in the water cup. TFTC.
–California
You are the Robin Hood of the soda fountain.
Watching a 24-year-old alumni schoolteacher rage so hard he pisses into a bag of Doritos and then eats some. TFM.
–Maine
He makes 30K a year and rolls into town for the weekend to eat chips covered in his own piss. Class act.
Real men don’t wipe, that’s what pledges are for. TFM.
–Texas
You’re that active who takes “funny” hazing too far, and everyone thinks you’re demented.
Trying to figure out what the plural form of getting the same STD is cause you got burned 3 times. TFM.
–Ohio
I’m going to call you Herpules.
Using this site for 3 years and forgetting that there is a TSM wall. TFM.
–Colorado
This site was founded in 2010 you lying fuck.
Elephant walking with a certain swagger, and using dip spit for lube. TFM.
–Louisiana
Twisting a W. quote for homoerotic purposes is just wrong.
Hazing the fuck out of my apartment cockroaches with my paddle. TFM.
–North Carolina
It pains me to know that somewhere there is a lonesome bottom-tier in a shanty bashing insects with his paddle.
Using condoms as balloons on your girlfriend’s birthday so birthday sex will involve the classic raw dawg since you ran out of protection. TFM.
–Georgia
The logic here makes my brain hurt.
Getting shitfaced in my Federal Boob Inspector shirt in honor of the FBI keeping ‘Merica safe from terrorism. TFM.
–Maryland
You are the permanent ultimate spring breaker.
Take note: this is not the way you want your night to end.
They’re just three guys, fratting hard, on a pink fucking scooter.
Pumping iron in a polo that has been attacked by the sleeve monster with your letters on the popped collar. NF.
Maybe the most unappealing party ever.
Damn it STOP getting these tattoos. Even the losers in the background look disgusted.
If anyone was still wondering, does Beta suck? Your answer is contained in photo three.
13 years ago at 10:38 amEvery fraternity has chapters like that.
13 years ago at 11:41 amBeta has *a lot* of chapters like that. That Men of Principle shit is almost as bad as the Balanced Man program.
13 years ago at 11:56 amBeta is gayer than AIDS.
13 years ago at 12:05 pmanyone wonder why sigma chi sucks?
13 years ago at 12:20 pm^ No.
13 years ago at 12:21 pm^^ no bud, we know why they suck
13 years ago at 12:23 pmYo son that’s me! A great man once said “Haters gonna hate, you just gotta lift more weight.”
And it’s called a brolo son, get on my level
13 years ago at 4:25 pmPlease, god, not another troll.
13 years ago at 10:41 amYo son, why would I want to drop to your level?
13 years ago at 12:10 pm^No he meant his was higher than yours.
13 years ago at 2:09 pmBeta seriously has like 6 members at baylor. And yeah i’ll go ahead and take my lap for going to baylor.
13 years ago at 3:18 pmgays and guidos are invading
13 years ago at 10:39 am“Tastes like shit” TFTC
13 years ago at 10:40 amno.
13 years ago at 3:23 pmNot TFTC in any way. Still, that part did make me laugh.
13 years ago at 4:23 pmIf you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
13 years ago at 2:10 pmDid anyone else notice how ping pong has window units instead of central air?
13 years ago at 10:40 amWindow units on front of the house TwhitetrashM.
13 years ago at 1:40 pmI found the fountain soda one to be pretty funny
13 years ago at 10:40 amYou’re a cheap bastard geed without enough brain cells to understand good humor verses bad. You are the 99%.
13 years ago at 12:21 pm^And boom goes the dynamite.
13 years ago at 12:40 pm*versus you dumb bitch.
13 years ago at 2:58 pm…. you lack punctuation and spellcheck. I feel sorry for you.
13 years ago at 4:33 pmGeed cant chug for shit.
13 years ago at 10:42 amdefinitely stole the first submission from TFLN
13 years ago at 10:52 amThe fact that you know this puts you on the same level as the one who submitted it.
13 years ago at 11:06 amWtf? No it doesn’t. It’s just a site like this except with text messaging, ya try hard.
13 years ago at 1:07 pmhttp://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-32704.html
13 years ago at 4:53 pmWe should leave the guy in the video alone. He kills people.
13 years ago at 10:57 amThe guy in the video is a fucking choch.
13 years ago at 11:05 am^ haven’t hard choch in a while, well played
13 years ago at 10:52 amThe one about the water cup made me think beer pong water cup. I had to reread it three times to understand. Guess I have my priorities right?
13 years ago at 11:09 amWhat the fuck?
13 years ago at 11:15 amI’ll go ahead and commit the ultimate TFM sin–admitting I don’t get the joke–what is it if not the beerpong cup?
13 years ago at 11:22 amAt a restaurant when your too poor to buy a cup of soda you ask for a cup of water for free and fill it up with soda anyways.
13 years ago at 11:37 amI like to drive through at McDonald’s and ask for the free McSpitter.
13 years ago at 1:04 pm^
13 years ago at 1:43 pm^^ I was thinking beer pong too. These comments cleared that up
13 years ago at 1:38 am