FAIL FRIDAY: The Ass Tat
Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Woke up in a Phi Mu’s bed with shit in my pants. That completes the cycle, I have now shit myself in every sorority house on campus. TFTC.
–Missouri
This is not the cycle you should be going for.
Went and saw Harold and Kumar 3 last night. Got so high in my car beforehand that I spent $70 at the concession stand. TFM.
–Illinois
You are a pathetic and disgusting slob with shitty taste in movies.
Getting blackout drunk and hiding ices around my room so I “accidentally” ice myself the next day. TFM.
–Minnesota
Everybody, welcome Minnesota to the party.
Donating sperm to fund my alcoholism and to insure an increased number of legacies for my house. TFM.
–Texas
I don’t think donated sperm is insurable. At least not by major insurance agencies.
Knowing it’s okay to tell girls you love Taylor Swift because of the way you dress. TFM.
–North Carolina
Nope. Swing and a miss.
Late to class because your porn was buffering slowly. TFM.
–Pennsylvania
You just had to see the guy get off before heading to political science, didn’t you?
Smelling your dick after anal. TFM.
–Massachusetts
Come on, man. That is disturbing.
I don’t need dip to be a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus but I do it anyway. TFM.
–Connecticut
Why do people think dip is a sexual stimulant?
I have to get a TPM posted on here for pledgeship. Please god help me. TPM. Seriously though there’s a lot riding on this.
–South Carolina
I hope some horrible punishment awaits you, because that effort was WEAK.
I’m drunk, I just want to say hello to you Mr. Intern Pledge. I just pissed in my roommate’s shoes and ate his last chicken patty. I’ll keep you updated on this escalating situation. Ron Paul 2012.
–Alabama
Please don’t keep me updated.
Hey, bro. Will you oil my abs for me?
Russell Brand and the matching SAE twins.
Yes, that is a fraternity symbol. I verified it. This is now the worst frat tat in history.
“Just lay your fat ass down on the floor and we’ll make it on TFM!”
The Lacoste tat, the board shorts, and the girl who doesn’t know how sad he is.
Pikes are so fratty…
13 years ago at 1:50 pmOn a serious note little pikes,
It saddens me that you guys are literally making a mockery of the Greek system. Yeah I know, every fraternity has it’s bottom tier chapters, but y’all take it to a whole new level.
If you’re reading this it may not be your fault. It’s most likely the fault of your national headquarters. For some reason y’all are putting chapters everywhere from community colleges to most likely DeVry or Phoenix University on-line.
It’s about Quality, not Quantity. It’s ashamed that you guys are stuck in high school. You’re not a gang, you’re supposed to be grooming yourselves for the future, not being stuck in junior year of high school when you made it to varsity football.
Guys get it together, I’m not going to adhere to the main theme of everyone else in Greek Life nationally and say “Fuck Pike,” because you guys are literally fucking yourselves.
Talk to your idiots at nationals, and work on making your chapters better, because it’s sad that one fraternity gives us so much to look at on Fridays.
13 years ago at 2:33 pmWell put Brother Whiskey Dick.
13 years ago at 2:42 pmIn all fairness Kappa Sig’s been on here a lot too. Not that I actually give any amount of fucks about Pike I just thought I’d point that out.
13 years ago at 2:46 pmYou forgot to add Kaplan College.
13 years ago at 3:09 pmThe cycle one is fucking gold.
13 years ago at 3:14 pmTKE is still worse.
13 years ago at 3:15 pm^ While it could be argued that teke is as bad, I’ve never seen them bring out hate as much as pike.
13 years ago at 3:25 pmI just do not understand how the club named pike can be such boners. But I guess you will field boys who are total boners when they practically hand out bids to anyone
13 years ago at 4:30 pmThe first 3 replies are obviously the same person
13 years ago at 4:51 pmI would have to say it’s not Fail Friday without a picture or video from pike. I would like to personally thank any and every one of you because your consistent presence on Fail Friday is one of the few reasons I get out of bed on Fridays.
13 years ago at 5:22 pm^Truth. Pike has a place in the world– My Friday afternoon reading on this website.
13 years ago at 5:49 pmTo John M Fratsman, Fuck you, and I bid you good day.
13 years ago at 8:07 pmTKE is horrible at UGA
13 years ago at 8:49 pmThe reality is that Pike, an ENORMOUS fraternity, is a phenomenal business. Nationals makes an insane amount of money on all of the fail-ish chapters out there through chapter dues. The thing is- you’re only as good as your chapter. It’s absurd to say that Pi Kappa Alpha is a shitty Fraternity. We’ve been around since 1868 and we have the same motto and ideals that all other fraternities have. We are gentlemen, athletes, and leaders, and we are all taught to be such. Chapter variance is rough but of course we have shining chapters. There’s no point in making fun of an entire fraternity, much like there’s no point in making fun of an entire genre of music (unless it’s dubstep.)
Phi Phi.
13 years ago at 11:22 pmthank you brother Scotch_Neat. Phi Phi dude. respect. CofC
13 years ago at 6:01 amI didn’t read anything above because I frankly didn’t feel like it. However I did read a sarcastic little zinger that is completely tired out. I get it. You all think Pike isn’t ‘fratty’ but every fucking Fail Friday you ‘clever’ fucks make this same fucking joke. It’s like that one pledge who made a joke and someone let a little snicker out, so that little fuck repeats it over and over hoping to sound cool and no longer get hazed. I don’t care you all don’t like Pikes but some creativity would be nice.
13 years ago at 7:16 amYea, fuck Pike.
13 years ago at 3:34 pmFuck pike! Just kidding, that video was hilarious. Brother Whiskey Dick wrote a 5 paragraph essay probably because he is mad at pike and tired of losing to pike in all aspects on his campus. Shit chapters are everywhere, asshole. phi phi.
13 years ago at 8:53 pmHonestly as a Pike, I also believe in quality and not quantity. I’m ashamed when I visit some chapters and see the utter and humiliating display of douche bagness that they portray. All being said, they still are my brothers, and that will never change, and in all respect, yes, our nationals need to do something about the some of the retards that they let in. Phi Phi, brothers.
13 years ago at 1:12 am“The reality is that Pike, an ENORMOUS fraternity, is a phenomenal business. Nationals makes an insane amount of money on all of the fail-ish chapters out there through chapter dues.”
PIKE: Taking GDI money while making them think they’re frat since… whenever they were founded.
13 years ago at 1:56 pmsmart as fuck…. you’re not very smart. I don’t hate pike, I don’t hate anyone because life is too good for me and no one is competition to me. But I do find it very sad that fraternities such as pike and a few others act like such retards.
Being in a fraternity is supposed to put us on a higher level then the masses, but people in some fraternities don’t learn that from their experience. It’s not about wearing bright hoodies with your letters on them and walking around like you own the place, it’s about being groomed to be an elite.
13 years ago at 2:57 pm^this. and to point out the fact that the pike referred to his fraternity as a business is classless. go join one of the nphc “frats” and have “inc.” in the name
13 years ago at 12:27 pmOn a serious note I’m in pike and this is the worst shit i have ever heard.
13 years ago at 2:30 amI got a chuckle out of the pledge’s desperate TPM, and the ghost in board shorts looks awkward as fuck.
13 years ago at 1:57 pmI recall a Polo tat similar to his Lacoste on FF a few weeks ago.
13 years ago at 2:23 pmthe slam is prime time though.
13 years ago at 2:41 pmFor middle school
13 years ago at 3:14 pm^Gay. I’d still do her
13 years ago at 4:40 pmIf Fail Friday was a contest, hell Pike would be winning.
13 years ago at 1:57 pmThere’s no one even close to them
13 years ago at 1:58 pmall new low for pike. they cant be proud about this.
13 years ago at 3:43 pmhey now leave pike alone. they don’t need people making fun of them….. they are just reject hipsters trying to fit in. oh hell they are scum and put them in their place
13 years ago at 3:32 amBalanced Man SigEp is pretty damn close. I would like to apologize in advance for all our horrible chapters out there that are an embarrassment to a once great fraternity.
13 years ago at 9:23 amWhat took so fucking long?
13 years ago at 1:58 pmWere you not around last week when he waited till we were all already drunk?
13 years ago at 4:41 pmCan we give Pike the Barack Obama Award for Excellence in Frat-Fail?
13 years ago at 1:58 pmSecond!
13 years ago at 8:22 amFirst word fail on this column.
13 years ago at 1:59 pmDo they sell proactiv for pimply asses?
13 years ago at 1:59 pmThat is the grossest hiney I have ever seen. I didn’t even know they could look like that.
13 years ago at 3:50 pm^^ seen a lot of man-ass?
13 years ago at 6:39 pm^i agree, classy. that is seriously the ugliest ass i have ever seen. VOM.
13 years ago at 12:22 pmAll_Liquored_Up: I’m assuming that Classy lives or has lived in a fraternity house at one point in time. That being said, is it even necessary to ask if he has seen a lot of “man-ass”? Every chapter has that one guy who runs around naked when he gets drunk.
13 years ago at 4:14 pmJust one that runs around naked?
13 years ago at 9:00 pmCool pike… fuckin geeds.
13 years ago at 1:59 pmFUCK YOU, INTERN
13 years ago at 2:00 pmi wonder which fail was his^
13 years ago at 3:19 pmhahahaha – awesome!
13 years ago at 4:05 pmComing from a play on “Little Red Ridinghood” and some gel haired douche from UCF…nice
13 years ago at 6:04 pm^ you mad bro?
13 years ago at 1:15 pmGood god, they found a rapper who is worse than Asher Roth. Congratulations.
13 years ago at 2:00 pmHe’s really fucking good, shut up, you ignorant bastard.
13 years ago at 2:21 pmThe man is creative but can’t flow for shit.
13 years ago at 5:04 pmThe worst part is that you know one of them thought ‘This is going to get me laid.’ So sad.
13 years ago at 6:55 pm