FAIL FRIDAY: The Ass Tat

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Woke up in a Phi Mu’s bed with shit in my pants. That completes the cycle, I have now shit myself in every sorority house on campus. TFTC.
–Missouri

This is not the cycle you should be going for.

Went and saw Harold and Kumar 3 last night. Got so high in my car beforehand that I spent $70 at the concession stand. TFM.
–Illinois

You are a pathetic and disgusting slob with shitty taste in movies.

Getting blackout drunk and hiding ices around my room so I “accidentally” ice myself the next day. TFM.
–Minnesota

Everybody, welcome Minnesota to the party.


Donating sperm to fund my alcoholism and to insure an increased number of legacies for my house. TFM.
–Texas

I don’t think donated sperm is insurable. At least not by major insurance agencies.

Knowing it’s okay to tell girls you love Taylor Swift because of the way you dress. TFM.
–North Carolina

Nope. Swing and a miss.

Late to class because your porn was buffering slowly. TFM.
–Pennsylvania

You just had to see the guy get off before heading to political science, didn’t you?

Smelling your dick after anal. TFM.
–Massachusetts

Come on, man. That is disturbing.

I don’t need dip to be a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus but I do it anyway. TFM.
–Connecticut

Why do people think dip is a sexual stimulant?

I have to get a TPM posted on here for pledgeship. Please god help me. TPM. Seriously though there’s a lot riding on this.
–South Carolina

I hope some horrible punishment awaits you, because that effort was WEAK.

I’m drunk, I just want to say hello to you Mr. Intern Pledge. I just pissed in my roommate’s shoes and ate his last chicken patty. I’ll keep you updated on this escalating situation. Ron Paul 2012.
–Alabama

Please don’t keep me updated.


Hey, bro. Will you oil my abs for me?


Russell Brand and the matching SAE twins.


Yes, that is a fraternity symbol. I verified it. This is now the worst frat tat in history.


“Just lay your fat ass down on the floor and we’ll make it on TFM!”


The Lacoste tat, the board shorts, and the girl who doesn’t know how sad he is.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you “Pike Rap”

  1. ItallcomesFraturally

    Good Lord. Just further proof that Pike sucks more dick than a crack whore. Damn proud to be a Phi, even with the 4 brothers oiling each other up.

    13 years ago at 2:17 pm
    1. Buckley

      Honestly, it’s a little gay, but at least they’re not fat and hideous like those SAE guys below them.

      13 years ago at 2:56 pm
    2. PourTheDamnDrink

      I go to George Mason and I can honestly say all the SAEs here are exactly like that if not worse. Their most prominent member is a gay guy who gets drunk and hits on his brothers all the time.

      13 years ago at 3:25 pm
    3. LtFrat

      For the record, those are FIGIs over at the Phi house after a volleyball tournament. Just so happens they are standing in front of the phi delt letters. And for the pikes? I’m a pike pledge and seeing this shit just kills me…

      13 years ago at 5:33 pm
    4. Constantine Chapter

      ^Pike…the only fraternity i’d rather be a pledge than an active. Get out why you still can.

      13 years ago at 6:29 pm
    5. geed_stomper

      To the guy who spelled FIJI wrong: Seriously? I thought we were in college here. How do you fuck up a four letter word? TFullRetardM

      13 years ago at 11:17 pm
    6. pearlsgirl

      congrats on outing yourself not only as a pike pledge but one that attends UTA….

      13 years ago at 3:47 am
  2. WV_SLAG

    For the first time in my life, i’m embarrassed to be a pike. Thank you, rapping jackasses.

    13 years ago at 2:24 pm
    1. Jon M Fratsman

      Also, I get that Beta are typically a bunch of failures but for being the other third of the Miami Triad, I’d have expected a little more from Phi Delt.

      13 years ago at 2:48 pm
    2. Jon M Fratsman

      Apparently they were actually Fiji’s, in which case it’s totally unsurprising.

      13 years ago at 5:52 pm
    3. Tom Petty Jr

      ^ That’s because you have a small brain. A brain half the size of a mans. It’s science.

      13 years ago at 10:00 am
    4. MichelleO is a Hoe

      Brain size has nothing to do with attraction, dumbass. Maybe I just like to surround myself with handsome, top tier gentlemen. Don’t hate me for that.

      13 years ago at 12:34 pm
    5. Tom Petty Jr

      I was actually being sarcastic there sugar tits. You see, that was a line from the movie Anchorman starring Will Ferrell. Thanks for proving my point though. Back to the kitchen…

      13 years ago at 2:31 pm
    6. Jon M Fratsman

      I’m not entirely sure what all the fuss is about. She stated that she likes to surround herself with handsome, top-tier gentlemen and obviously Fijis are neither of those, so let’s just cut the shit and go back to boozing.

      13 years ago at 5:27 pm
  3. Hazing Private Ryan

    Well…I didn’t laugh but I kind of felt the need to use the restroom after the last photo

    13 years ago at 2:41 pm