FAIL FRIDAY: The Future is Dim
13 years ago

Ten real submissions, four photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Not dealing with my impending mental health issues. That’s what scotch and Ativan are for. TFM.
-Pennsylvania

You need a visit from the ghost of Christmas future.

Climbed up a tree to shit on a birds nest because it shit on my frathoe. TFM.
-Mississippi

Fighting shit with shit. FaF.

The fratcastle beat-off sock is named Crusty Wallace. TFM.
-Texas

A good name for a community cum sock, I suppose.

The only thing thats funnier than watching pledges run around with condoms on their head is watching them throw up after when they realize we all used them last night. TFM.
-Florida

This would be a pretty embarrassing reason to get kicked off campus.

Super Mario eating mushrooms, riding dinosaurs, stomping on turtles, hazing his brother out of the spotlight, and gaining any power he wants. TFM. Doing all this to slam Princess Peach at the end. TFTC.
-Mushroom Kingdom University

Being an immigrant plumber. NF.

Learn from my pledge brother, don’t trust a fart after a night of heavy drinking. TShitHimselfM.
-Georgia

Total Shit Himself Move is my new favorite move.

An active needs to earn his full citizenship. Looks like a pledge will be joining a domestic partnership. TFM.
-California

West Coast frat.

It’s not hazing if I tase myself while holding hands with the pledges. TFM.
-Florida

You’re enjoying that a little too much.

Watching iPhone porn on my 15 minute breaks at Chili’s. TFM.
-Chili’s Grill & Bar

Pitching a tent before serving queso to customers. TFM.

I pissed the bed the first 14 years of my life because I had a bladder problem…I’ve pissed the bed the last 6 years of my life because I have a drinking problem #WINNING – FrattyBoySwaggin – TFM.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.


“Now I’ve always got my letters!”


So much NF here it’s hard to absorb it all.


Apparently this is called “The Butt Chug.”


They don’t even surprise me anymore…

The X Games were this week, and someone thought women should participate. It turns out this was the greatest idea ever:

    1. TheFratFace1868

      Not only is the pledge ignorant but so are most of you. If you would take time to read the sign in his hands, or know something about general philanthropy, you would know the meaning behind the picture.

      Walk a mile in her shoes is a philanthropy where fraternity men are paired with ladies of the presenting house and walk a mile around campus in heels to raise awareness about domestic abuse.

      13 years ago at 12:37 pm
    6. GQ McGee

      While normally I’d be down to haze Pi Kappa Almost even more, it does look as if they’re participating in Walk a Mile and for that I give some credit.

      ODH, brother.

      13 years ago at 1:33 pm
    16. Brahcision maker

      ^no, not TFTC. we are just leaders. TFTC implies that you are doing something shameful but don’t care anyway

      13 years ago at 7:14 pm
    19. Colonel Fratson

      Can anybody ACTUALLY justify how the Walk A Mile philanthorpy is a fail? You actuay call yourself a fraternity GENTLEMAN? As much as I hate Pike, I respect the philanthorpy enough to over look it.

      13 years ago at 8:55 pm
    20. TFTChawk

      Walk-A-Mile is a great philanthropy to help reduce the rape stereotype that non-greeks have about fraternities. My fraternity did Walk A Mile, I couldn’t walk in heels (Size 15 man-shoes), but a few of the guys borrowed shoes from volleyball players (size 13 man-shoes?) and helped raise sexual assault awareness.

      “If you’re going to make fun of a man, first walk a mile in his shoes. That way, by the time he hears you, you are a mile away and have taken his shoes.”

      13 years ago at 10:26 pm
    21. ATO

      To be fair, our campus almost made us do this for Greek Week. Then the trannies on campus got pissed and got us out of it.

      13 years ago at 4:50 am
    23. Theodore B Kelly

      It would make sense that Pike is doing a walk-a-mile fundraiser.. they are the only fraternity constantly accused of rape.

      13 years ago at 11:28 am
    24. General Fratson

      If you’re being abused, I’m pretty sure you’re already aware of it. Don’t have guys walk around in heels, call the police..

      13 years ago at 7:20 pm
    26. Southern_sphinx

      1) Cross dressing is never FaF
      2) There are plenty of other events you can do to raise awareness of domestic abuse.
      3) Pike.

      13 years ago at 11:55 pm
    3. 0leMissFratStar

      ha why don’t you yankee gdi fucks get a life, if you’re one of the people constantly saying how “gay” pike is you clearly are jealous because your fraternity fucking sucks and you have nothing better to do. half of you talking shit go to schools where my pledge class is bigger than you’re chapter haha.

      13 years ago at 12:32 pm
    1. The_Chilis_Guy

      Thats right, I’m fuckin’ back. They were moving me to a different location so I didn’t have time to experience some real TFMs at chilis.

      13 years ago at 12:24 pm
    6. The_Chilis_Guy

      Why would you ever thank obama? Only I can because minimum wage was raised thanks to the almighty Lord and Savior Barack Obama.

      13 years ago at 1:04 pm
    9. Fratopia

      Don’t be that fucking guy. I hope your parents beat the shit out of you when you were growing up.

      13 years ago at 6:07 pm
    11. The_Chilis_Guy

      Awesome. By the way, do you know of any Mario-Peach roll playing porn or just some Mario-Peach hentai?

      13 years ago at 8:49 pm
    13. The_Chilis_Guy

      No I’m serious. My girlfriend who works at Hollister likes it kinky and we’ll watch porn sometimes while she gives me a handy or while I have lunch down at the Y.

      13 years ago at 9:15 pm
  5. WorkHardPlayHard

    i dont want to defend pike, but the last picture is from walk a mile in her shoes, we do the same thing on our campus. its a fundraiser that raises awareness for domestic abuse

    13 years ago at 12:13 pm
    1. FratMaximusBrodius

      What about Shamou wearing the “PKA Sister” shirt?
      Or, the cargo shorts in the back middle?

      13 years ago at 12:17 pm
    2. bornaBROg

      But you aren’t black, wearing cargo shorts, and being followed by a mountain troll “sister” when you do it

      13 years ago at 12:18 pm
    8. PhiPhiFrat

      Smathers, the only Pike in this picture is wearing his letters. The capris and field hand belong to TKE.

      13 years ago at 12:29 pm
    9. fueledbynatty

      I’m not sure where you are getting that they are TKE’s, I clearly see PIKE written on their shirts.

      13 years ago at 12:37 pm
    11. Fratent Pending

      I thought it said tke but if you open you eyes and look before you comment you will see that it is pike.

      13 years ago at 12:42 pm
    1. Fratent Pending

      That was better than any post on the wall this week. I rolled on the floor laughing.

      13 years ago at 12:25 pm
    5. Guy Harvey

      Well, I could be wrong, but I believe it’s an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era

      13 years ago at 1:01 pm
    6. greenmachine

      haha by far the funniest thing in this column. i had to watch it twice before i realized that they weren’t racing in slow-mo.

      13 years ago at 4:24 pm
    9. FratingSiouxForever

      It may have helped if the course was designed like a kitchen. More familiar territory.

      13 years ago at 7:34 am
    10. thefrattestofthemall

      haha when the one girl tried to go over that hill with logs and fell, the on behind her just went around. i was laughing way too hard after that

      13 years ago at 1:13 pm
  8. Pounding Vag

    Thank you for that video. Pledges will be completing a course similar to that next year as well.

    13 years ago at 12:16 pm
    4. H

      Fucking damnit 39_50, please, PLEASE, learn the difference between your/you’re, and might as well learn the differences between there/their/they’re too.

      13 years ago at 5:12 pm
  9. bornaBROg

    Proof that even bad sports can be made worse by putting “Women’s” in the description. Also, I chuckled at the Mississippi submission.

    13 years ago at 12:17 pm
  10. Oprah Is A Dyke

    Ok, that video might be the funniest shit I have ever seen. Secondly, I really wish y’all would post fail columns.

    13 years ago at 12:17 pm
    1. Fratasuar

      First time I’ve watched a fail friday video and not have to stop halfway through and immediately begin drinking.

      13 years ago at 12:20 pm
  11. Bro Lou Holtz

    that video was priceless. the end even when the chick is falling in the water. probably less people watching than a WNBA game

    13 years ago at 12:20 pm
    1. IFWT

      The very end was by far the funniest with the chick falling in the water, so glad they didn’t cut it a second sooner otherwise we would have missed it.

      Funniest fail friday video thus far.

      13 years ago at 8:51 pm