FAIL FRIDAY: Use Your Head
13 years ago

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Slam telling me she’d glory hole my entire chapter if this made it on the TFM wall. TFM.
–Tennessee

Does making it on Fail Friday count?

She puked on the bed. So I took her to the floor to finish her off. TFM.
–Kansas

Keeping it classy in Kansas.

Walking into Sunglass Hut and the sales person trying to sell you Ray Bans but then you interrupt her and say, “Can you unlock the Gucci case?” TFM.
–Tennessee

You are obviously a shot-caller.

Making pledges hand wash all 200 red solo cups so we don’t have to buy more. TFM.
–Texas

The temperature of water you’d need to properly disinfect those would melt the plastic.


Fingerblasting your most hated brother’s mom in front of him and the brothers during Parent’s Weekend. TFM.
–Virginia

Brothers don’t fingerblast brother’s moms.

Slipping a rufilin in your brother’s drink and sucking his dick while he’s passed out. TFM.
-Tennessee

Brothers don’t roofie brothers and sexually violate them.

Got Natural Light poured all over me before I got with a slam. Pulled my fingers out, they smelled like Natural Light. Who’s the real winner? TFM.
-Ohio

Natty is the real winner, because this is free advertising.

Had a dream about hazing the pledges, woke up with a boner. TFM.
-Illinois

Tell everyone this at the next chapter meeting.

Threw out rush shirts at the local strip club while smoking a pipe. Needed legit dudes. TFM.
-Mississippi

How’d that work out for you?

Having sex. TFM.
–Alabama

Worst effort ever.


“Hey guys let’s take our pants off and act retarded for this one!”


I was wondering when hipster chapters would start emerging.


Can’t…stop…laughing.


I have FaF shaved into my head.


That’s right. Rest your balls on his bald head.

Another horrible attempt at making music with an autotuner for a bad rush video:

    11. Brahcision maker

      Frat and Furious, I thought you were lying about this being your school. if you recognize it is has to be. What fraternity are you in?

      13 years ago at 12:00 pm
    14. eBrahcisionmakeri

      This is definitely UNC-G’s campus, and this pike is a great representation of their chapter.

      13 years ago at 1:38 pm
    15. Oos Peet

      USC is not in any way FAF. It’s a west coast liberal hipster school. Surfing and skateboarding, as well as supporting Obama and other liberal far left ideas, are not fratty under any definition of the word

      13 years ago at 10:34 pm
    16. FratpocalypseNow

      Piker, you’re an idiot. I go to USC and that is NOT USC. First of all, there is nowhere on campus that looks like that. Second of all, all of the benches on campus are uniformly metal and that bench is wood. Third of all, although I dislike many of them, the PIKE at USC is actually a decent chapter. They lost their house and may be declining in quality, but I am sure that they have not descended that far yet.

      13 years ago at 10:59 pm
    2. sword and the heart

      No, it’s not at all.I think someone had a good idea somewhere along the way but it went horribly wrong

      13 years ago at 2:05 pm
    4. CrashIntoMe

      The Sig Ep picture is definitely FAF. Man the fuck up and run around naked with your pledge brothers sometime, it’s good for you.

      13 years ago at 4:04 pm
    5. GetASigepHeartOn

      Also, the words “Sigma Phi Epsilon” on the sign are clearly made by a computer. That being said, if you haven’t run around with no pants on then you have never been in a frat.

      13 years ago at 6:51 pm
    8. Haze For Future

      Balanced men chapters are an embarrassment to the few remaining traditional chapters of SigEp. They are all to blame for the national laughingstock that has become of my fraternity.

      13 years ago at 8:06 pm
    9. grandfrat

      hazemaster.. preach on that brother.. I read the other day that they “stopped pledging” WTF? On behalf of all us “old school” sigeps, fine sirs, what you are experiencing today with this “Balanced Man” is an atrocity. but that pic is kinda faf.. and for record pikes are still tools..

      13 years ago at 12:50 pm
    10. grandfrat

      haze for the future.. my bad.. im running laps.. sorry i was so enraged with the gayness of the balanced man project

      13 years ago at 12:51 pm
    12. BroswickStew

      There are three kinds of SigEp chapters. 1. Balanced in name and Balanced in practice; 2. Balanced in name and Traditional in practice; 3. Traditional in name and Traditional in practice. The first type is understandably horrendous. The latter two types are fine. Balanced in both name and practice chapters have given SigEp a bad reputation on college campuses nationwide. That is unfortunate. The guy who invented the BMP did not intend it to replace Traditional chapters. He simply wanted to hybridize the models. That plan backfired, and it’s torn apart the fraternity to a large degree. Almost every time chapters that fit the aforementioned (2) and (3) categories meet chapters that fit said (1), a feeling of disgust and loathing forms in one’s gut. Not good, but understandable, as you don’t have to be a SigEp to have that same experience around Balanced as Fuck SigEp chapters.

      13 years ago at 12:30 pm
    13. grandfrat

      BroswickStew.. thanks bro!! i seriously had no idea what happened. I just heard horror stories that I chose not to believe in. I pledge at Seton Hall (NF) and then transferred to UK (hella frat) .. both ended up losing their chapters for different reasons. Granted even when I was active, different schools had totally different dudes that made up that particular chapter. For instance, I heard folk-lore that the Pikes at St. Johns (NF) were actually pretty chill and the SigEps there were a bunch of tools..

      13 years ago at 1:59 pm
    14. FratwallJackson

      If you’re trolling, you’re doing a piss poor job of it. If you’re not.. May God have mercy on your soul, if he can find it in his heart to do so.

      13 years ago at 2:08 pm
    15. BroswickStew

      He was obviously trolling; though, not very well. My point was that SigEp has systemic issues as a national fraternity concerning the wide range of chapters out there and the rift between them. Any fraternity is bound to have a couple of chapters with bad eggs. I was simply saying that one may find it more frequently in SigEp than other fraternities because of said systemic issues.

      13 years ago at 8:29 pm
    17. grandfrat

      hmm so “trolling” is agreeing with someone, and thanking them for explaining something I had no previous knowledge of? Oh ok, well if that’s the case, my bad for “trolling” and let me write that down in my book of “lessons learned while on TFM.” What’s the protocol now, do I “run laps” for trollin so hard, professor?

      13 years ago at 2:06 pm
    1. Caligufrat

      Yeah, but considering how dirty those cups are, you’d need ridiculously hot water to properly kill off the germs.

      13 years ago at 11:57 am
    8. Scotch_Neat

      How poor do you have to be to not be able to afford cups? It’s like clipping coupons for fucking toilet paper.

      13 years ago at 4:52 pm
    9. HazebrookOtisAllan

      XOandPearls, get back in the kitchen. Rubbing alcohol is extremely volatile, so it would evaporate before you drank anything out of the cup.

      13 years ago at 5:17 pm
    1. MightBePike

      Or just doesn’t have a snail’s eye stalk sized penis like your’s to use for reference.

      13 years ago at 10:23 pm
    1. TheycallmeAsshole

      I use to think nothing is as easy as a DZ… but after seeing this video, which I stopped at 0:42, I have come to comment on one thing. Why the ugly chick as the main singer for a recruitment video? I thought she was as you say “hide her during rush girl”…

      13 years ago at 9:39 pm
    6. Frat Weekly

      Bad move on your sisters FHSlammpiece, yet you’re openly telling us that you fuck without commitment. Who’s poorly representing DZ now?

      13 years ago at 3:05 pm
    7. Frattastic378

      Typically, I feel like, you fellas go overboard calling girls fat, but Christ on a cracker, those girls were obese.

      13 years ago at 3:12 pm
    9. CrashIntoMe

      thank you carolinahaze. I agree with what you’re saying though frattastic, it looks like they took the ugliest and fattest girl of the group and had her sing first. That’s just poor marketing.

      13 years ago at 4:07 pm
    3. Yes we can_do better

      Hey, the money I won in the cab accident is kicking ass in the stockmarket, so relax! -Big Daddy

      13 years ago at 3:00 pm