FAIL FRIDAY: Virgin Weddings

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

That instant urge to fart during a blowjob is equally comparable to that immediate urge to piss when getting in the shower. TFM.
–Arkansas

Neither of these urges is normal, by any stretch of the word.

The only thing more puzzling to me than slams calling me “god” is that they think I care that they are coming. TFM.
–Alabama

That’s because you have sociopathic tendencies.

Making ghost noises in class making GDI’s think the building is haunted. TFM.
–Georgia

Nice 6-year-old prank you fucking childish dufus.

Self-made man using pledge labor to make billions of dollars while wearing ridiculous clothes, and telling a poor kid to go fuck himself. Willy Wonka. TFTC.
–Texas

You know Willy Wonka was carrying on sexual relationships with the male oompa loompas, right?

Slam did the dishes while taking it from behind and then had to do them again after I busted on them. TFM.
–Pennsylvania

That’s high quality dish washing liquid.

Slams love it when I make Chewbacca noises right before cumming. TFM.
–Kansas

The force is weak in this one.

Hipster geed came to take my order at a restaurant. I politely told him I wanted a new server, and to fuck off. TFM.
–Utah

You’re expecting a waiter that’s FaF?

Overheard a GDI say, “Yo, whats up?” I turned around and told him yoyos are for mentally retarded people and children. TFM.
–Arizona

Another joke from someone with a 3rd grade reading level.

The only thing that shoots harder cum shots are my zits. TFM.
–Kansas

Sweet Lord. Why?

Today I went to the T-Mobile Store because I hadn’t gotten any texts in the last 2 weeks. The employee tested it and decided that the phone wasn’t broken; I just hadn’t gotten any texts. FML.
–Texas

You’re on the wrong fucking website, loser.


This must’ve been one fucked up hangover.


When the zombie apocalypse comes, you definitely save the Xbox.


Getting laid isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Puke triangle handholding.


Get your shit together.


Rollerblades are for Sonic employees, and those shirts are for…no one really.

Maybe totally irrelevant, but fucking hilarious. Couple shares first kiss for their wedding:

    1. Do The Terri Schiavo

      Whats the diffrence between me and Terri Schiavo? I woke up this morning

      13 years ago at 5:20 pm
    2. WWW1858

      More importantly Dick Perry didn’t go last week for the conference championship games…. To top it off this was a terrible fail friday.

      13 years ago at 8:26 pm
    1. PIKE_EQUALS_GEEDS

      Pikes are obviously more gay, but think of it as a photo finish between the two of you.

      13 years ago at 11:33 am
    1. FloridaFratlantic13

      I can’t tell if you’re trying to “second” something, or trying to claim that you’re the second to comment. Because it looks like you failed on both fronts there sport.

      13 years ago at 5:10 pm
    2. FloridaFratlantic13

      ^Well it is near Orlando… Stetson is nice and pretty fratty, but Deland fucking sucks and the campus just too small. Frat on.

      13 years ago at 10:08 am
    1. thefratasticmrfox

      No, virgins of that age are just terrible at any kind of contact with someone of the opposite sex

      13 years ago at 8:00 pm
    1. Jerry Fratdusky

      It means he has a tight end, until you or I turn him into a wide receiver.

      13 years ago at 5:36 pm
    2. OrderontheBorder

      That guy not being a virgin by choice. TFM. Get it? Because he was raped. Probably by Sandusky.

      13 years ago at 6:08 pm
  1. Rager

    I’d like to imagine the rollerbladers are chasing a group of pikes because theyre huge fans or something.

    13 years ago at 5:03 pm
  2. 247frat

    I don’t know what you’re talking about, I often have the urge to piss in the shower.

    13 years ago at 5:04 pm
    1. fratrickswayze

      I’ve also had the urge to fart during a blow job. It was post Taco Cabana, to be specific.

      13 years ago at 7:10 pm
  3. FloridaFratlantic13

    Decent job intern, but both of those urges are normal. Unless you just take a shit on her chest and pee in her butt, that’ll get rid of both issues.

    13 years ago at 5:05 pm
    1. the fratness monster

      In honor of this Fail Friday, I’m going to make ghost noises during sex, then make Chewbacca sounds right before I nut.

      13 years ago at 6:53 pm
    2. CJ Wilson

      Not by the same girl, at least. I’ll still pee in your pujol if you pay me enough.

      13 years ago at 9:36 pm
    3. MOMOgotMojo

      ^ My girl doesnt know who princess lea is, she just wore the golden bikini because she thought it was hot 🙂

      13 years ago at 11:02 am