FAIL FRIDAY: Weekend Wasted

TFM Intern9 years ago

Ten real submissions, 21 photos, and 9 videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Got something you think should be featured in Fail Friday? Email it to intern@totalfratmove.com.

Like only benching never squatting and hot tubbing with sorority girls and pooning poon and fratting frat and just being down for whatever. TFM.

I don’t know what I just read.

Denying sorostitutes the sweet nectar of your loins because you’re afraid of a long-term romantic commitment. TFM.

Just commit, dude. Get her pregnant as hell.

Wearing your letter hoody and Brooks Brothers boxers to the urologist so that he knows that even though your weiner is small you still get laid. TFM.

“Damn this kid’s dick is small. But he’s wearing a frat hoody and Brooks Bros boxers so at least he still gets laid.”

I’ll take hate for this any day of the week, but some of my childhood friends are non-affluent GDIs and I absolutely hold them to the same exact standard/tier as I do any other Greek affiliates. Don’t forget where you came from and who was with you. TFM.

Do so much less than you’re currently doing.

When people start noticing your gainz and say you’re on steroids. Fucking right I’m on steroids and cocain. TFM.

Alright, calm down psycho.

Robbing your rival fraternity blind when they all leave for formal. TFM.

That’s a crime, brother.

When you’re at the party drinking and just looking around the room knowing so many of the girls are going to catch your D over the years. TFM.

I know that feeling!

Yelling out, “IT SMELLS LIKE FISH IN HERE!” whenever your ex-girlfriend walks into the room. TFM.

You totally roasted her.

Cruising around campus in your bro’s 2007 Jetta just stunting on GDIs and making sorosties squirt. TFM.

Got my first blowjob in a 2007 Jetta, actually.

I’ll wait to have sex with you if you really like me. I will just continue to have sex and attempt to have sex with other hot chics. And if, and when you do have sex with me I will add you to my list. How often will I see you? That depends how good you are in bed. In reality, as a Rich and Good Looking guy that lives in So Cal, I don’t wait to have sex. I don’t have to wait. Chics have sex with me when they first meet me. The women I date are Young, Hot and Materialistic. Most importantly, the aforementioned women understand my expectations. And I understand their needs. But I get it as chics near 30, or 22 for that matter they think: “Oh shit I need a nice guy so I can stop working and breed!” ” I have to get Prego before I lego my eggo.” Say good bye to the guys you really like. I might settle down one day with a woman. Although, I doubt I will be completely monogamous. I do want to have kids. If I do settle down, it will be with a Barely Legal, European Chic, who is as close to virginity as possible. Which of course I will never really know. I might hire a Private Investigator. And she is from a Rich Family so……..there you go! The aforementioned Barely Legal, European Girl will bang me in the Hotel Room as soon as it is logistically achievable. Why waste time? So, in the final analysis. No waiting. Thanks.

One of the most bizarre submissions we’ve ever received.

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