FAIL FRIDAY: You Ain’t Cool Unless You Pee Your Pants
Ten real submissions, 20 photos, and three videos that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Accidentally including family members when you drunkenly send a Snapchat of some little number flicking her bean at a hometown Christmas party. TFM.
-Alabama
Why wasn’t I invited to this Christmas party?
Stealing and popping most of Grandma’s back pills while she’s taking her afternoon nap. TFM.
-Connecticut
I like the way you party.
Laying a fat yule log in Grandpa’s toilet before he comes to stay for Christmas to subtly let him know that he’s not welcome here. So frat, so college. TFM. #fuckyougrandpa #whywontyoufuckingdiealreadyyougeed
-Florida
#whywontyoufuckingdiealreadyyougeed is my new favorite hashtag.
Acting extra macho around the gay bros so they won’t try anything. TFM
-Tennessee
Whenever I see a gay dude I immediately drop down and start cranking out pushups so he knows I’m macho as fuck.
Limo rental: $300. Nice steak dinner: $80. Necklace from Tiffany: $200. The moment when she asks you to pee in her butt: priceless. TFM.
-Virginia
You can’t put a price on butt pee.
My frat bone is 3.14 inches flacid and 6.9 inches erekt. TFM.
-Anonymous
Thanks for sharing.
Officer: Son, why are you walking funny? Fratstar (me): You try lugging this 13-inch thundercock around. TFratM.
-New York
BOOM drop the thundercock on that pig.
Blackballing a pledge while he’s fucking a slam then punching him in the groin repeatedly thus beating and making his balls black and blue. TFM(s). That’s some symbolic shit intern throw me a fucking bone here.
-New York
God you’re sick.
Walking to McDonald’s in your boxers, boat shoes, and a blanket in the snow! TFM.
-Anonymous
Wow. What a fucking accomplishment. Quick, someone get this loser a medal.
Fracking off (frat jacking off) into a Santa hat to a fantasy of Mrs. Claus in full view of the family’s nativity scene of baby Jesus after driving home blasted from your Uncle’s house because you needed some relief after seeing your smoking aunt. TFM.
-New York
Whelp, that’ll do it for 2013.
Peeing your pants is the coolest.
Mother of God! Keep that shirt down!
Some guys just can’t handle raging in the backseat.
Finger blasting me and handing Dorn a drink as he leads her back to his basement to bang, only to prematurely ejaculate after receiving an OTPHJ during the taxi ride home. TInternM
12 years ago at 12:39 pmNow that Fail Friday is up, if anyone needs the intern he’ll be in his room painting…homo things.
12 years ago at 12:41 pm“Some topsiders or some other kind of dress shoe” goddammit kid..
12 years ago at 12:50 pmIt’s unfortunate the Pa Guy didn’t make the column
12 years ago at 12:54 pmHe’s losing his touch. Actually. I’m not exactly sure, there are so many fake PA Guy accounts. Will the real PA Guy please stand up?
12 years ago at 4:41 pmsecond to last on first page… who gave Justin Bieber a bid?
12 years ago at 12:59 pmWhy the FUCK is the interfraternity Council President wearing cargo shorts?
12 years ago at 1:02 pmI will make my first born son rush Pike if someone can get me Davey Jones’ head on a platter. I seriously hate him that much
12 years ago at 1:05 pmholi fuk dat davy jonez guy lewkz exactly liek teh 2 guyz he interviewed
wut teh fuk iz goin on heer?11
12 years ago at 1:07 pm#tmfconspiracys
^Ruger Dern gets it
12 years ago at 6:37 pmThe dog that puked on Justin Bieber is FaF.
12 years ago at 1:12 pmI peed my pants the first time I saw the ass on the intern’s mom. Don’t worry, I had a Big Gulp and her butt was well satisfied later on.
12 years ago at 1:22 pm