Father’s Day Tribute: Top 5 Frattest TV Dads
13 years ago

Derek Morris

Wow, where do I begin? First of all, I pioneered closing deals via the giant cell phone. Closing major deals on a device the size of a small child is F, but taking calls while your son is trying to talk about his feelings is even more F. Hey Zack, try again when you’re not wearing an invisibelt and maybe I’ll stop making major moves on the reg. Notice my suspenders, they’ve got post Reaganomics wealth written all over them. Next time Zack is out acting like a self-absorbed, borderline sociopath, I hope he remembers where he got it from.

Tim Taylor

I blow shit up. I care more about power tools than my own family. My shit stinks up the bathroom all fucking day. I often communicate by grunting just so people know how manly I am. Tool Time only hires stacked slampieces to assist me in fucking up home repairs on tv. I think my assistant Al is a huge pussy. One of my sons went goth so I gave up on raising him.

Scott Disick

Hey, I’m reality television’s favorite alcohol abusing prick with a sketchy anger problem. I flooded a Kardashian cave and now I’m famous. I rock a post grad slick back that says, “Hey, I’ll likely murder you.” I’m pretty much that guy in the chapter that pulls high end ass but everyone knows he’ll do something highly despicable at any moment so they keep their distance.

Hank Hill

My life is a constant struggle between closing major propane deals and raising a son who is a borderline vagina. My crew and I post up with a cooler and pound cheap ass beer for no reason. I have a narrow urethra which means I never have to pull out. Yeah, what happens in Peggy stays in Peggy. I fucking hate hippies.

Red Foreman

I sit in the living room and booze all fucking day while my wife bakes shit in the kitchen. I constantly berate my hippy son for not living up to my expectations which are exceedingly high since I’m a veteran of 2 wars. When his supergay friends come over and geed up my house, I often threaten to put my foot in their asses. I allow them to smoke their loser grass in my house just so I can ruin their high. Ruining a hippy’s high is FaF.

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  3. k

    Surprised that Gordon Gekko isn’t on there, being that he was a dad (and grandfather) in the new Wall Street

    13 years ago at 9:19 pm
    4. SNU

      I agree, Stan Smith FaF working for the CIA and hating both his children because one is a momma’s boy and the other is a hippie.

      13 years ago at 7:09 am
    2. toss me a bronson

      just what I was thinking, especially with the final season premiere right around the corner

      13 years ago at 11:06 pm
    6. Fraternity Man

      Yeah, but the focus of his character isn’t that he is a dad. His kids aren’t mentioned that much throughout the series. Still, he is FaF…and was a ZBT at Harvard if I remember right.

      13 years ago at 11:59 am
    10. TomSelleck

      I was more or less overlooking fraternity status fictional or non-fictional, just for the fact that he acts like he owns every damn thing and knows he’s the fuckin man.

      13 years ago at 12:57 am
    2. Go Frat Win

      Shut up, Hank Hill is an American Hero that we can all identify with in one way or another even if we aren’t poor, blue collar or redneck.

      13 years ago at 10:34 pm
    3. Bropenhagen

      Hank Hill may not be “FaF” by monetary standards. However he is the epitome of a damn proud American and a man, which as far as I’m concerned means more than his bank account.

      13 years ago at 11:18 pm
    5. Lucas Fratterson

      Agree with Frattrick. Hank Hill looks at us country club folks and scoffs. Super geed and the most annoying character on television.

      13 years ago at 9:29 pm
    2. Bobcat Frataholic

      very true. Like how he hates his hippie daughter, doesn’t listen to his wifes complaining and his love for W and Reagan.

      13 years ago at 12:04 am