Fire Tornadoes Exist and We’re All Fucked
12 years ago

We’ve really been lacking on 2012 Apocalypse talk around here lately so allow me to reopen that discussion with the most terrifying concept I’ve heard about since proposed bans on Plan B. May I present to you: FIRE TORNADOES.

No, that wasn’t the climactic scene to a yet to be penned Backdraft sequel (but my God let’s make that happen). This was in fact a real life flaming twister (not to be confused with the popular Fire Island night club “The Twisting Flamer”). This video is earth, wind, and fire coming together to SWALLOW YOUR SOUL, and it’s terrifying.

I consider myself lucky that I won’t be in Australia when the planet is destroyed. I’m cool having to deal with whatever earthquake or Mexican drug cartel destroys Texas. That’s WAY better than having your house invaded by GIANT POISONOUS SPIDERS WITH AN UNSLAKABLE THRIST FOR HUMAN BLOOD only to run outside and be swallowed whole by FIRE TORNADOES. I’d prefer to not have my home fucked by the devil’s giant dancing dick.

Also, if global warming doesn’t exist then WHY ARE OUR TORNADOES LIGHTING ON FIRE!?!?! HMMMM? HMMMM? Oh God! Al Gore was right!

Enjoy your last few months on Earth everybody.

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    2. Frat Stud

      Have you seen Australian women?? Oh dear god…greatest three months of my life. Thank you study abroad.

      12 years ago at 4:31 pm
    3. ThadForCocksman

      I studied abroad in Australia as well. Those gothic bitches have nothing on southern American women.

      12 years ago at 5:30 pm
    5. Tallapoosa Snu

      There’s such an incredible girl:guy ratio there that outside American Naval stations theres literally billboards full of women and their pictures and numbers because they are desperate for good looking guys to hook up with… not prostitutes, just beautiful women that want dick and know athletic guys that have been stuck womanless on a boat for months want to go have a few drinks and fuck beautiful Austrailian women with those accents. You can have a shrimp and still get a barbie if you catch my drift. And it’s been this way for years, even my grandpa has stories about showing up in uniform and having gorgeous women cling to him just wanting good looking American dick

      12 years ago at 11:56 pm
  4. The Baron

    As scary as this is, let us not forget how terrifying and detrimental to society the Jerry Jones/Papa Johns Rap commercial is.

    12 years ago at 2:15 pm
    1. Tallapoosa Snu

      Jerry Jones is straight up gangster. Did P. Diddy build a 2 billion dollar “home” for a slightly above-average team? I dont think so.

      12 years ago at 11:58 pm
    2. The Baron

      Oh, I’m not denying the man’s business prowess. I just find the commercial to reek of try-hardness.

      12 years ago at 12:31 pm
  8. DOOOONT CAAAAARE

    I guess God is pissed at Austrailia, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster if you’re one of those crazy fucks

    12 years ago at 5:48 pm