Jealous Florida Dog Shoots Owner’s Girlfriend
I always wonder if dogs get jealous of man’s better half. I don’t have a dog, or a girlfriend for that matter, but I get anxiety just thinking about how I’d have to divide my attention between my dog, my woman, my side bitch, my side woman’s woman, and like 11 college basketball games that I bet on any given night. That dog’s gonna get jealous.
And what happens when a dog gets jealous? He straight up shoots your girl when she’s asleep.
From ABC13:
A man told police that his dog was responsible for shooting his girlfriend while she was sleeping on Tuesday night.
Brian Murphy told officers that he let his dog, Diesel, outside after the animal woke him up and when they returned to the bedroom, the room was completely dark. Murphy told police that Diesel walked in before him, and that he then saw a flash and heard a bang.
Murphy’s girlfriend, Summer Miracle, had been shot in her sleep.
Murphy claimed that “Diesel jumped up on the nightstand, where (Murphy’s) gun was sitting, and it went off, shooting Summer in the right leg,” according to police.
Miracle told authorities she was asleep when the bullet struck her and that she wasn’t sure how she was shot.
WFOX reports that she was taken to the hospital with injuries that did not appear to be life-threatening
It’s an adage as old as time itself. Cops in Florida probably hear this shit like twenty times a day. The ol’ dog shot my girlfriend excuse. Classic.
This dog didn’t accidentally shoot her, bee tee dubs. This wasn’t an act of passion. He’s been planning this for weeks. Diesel ain’t nothing to fuck with. Now your girl is going to make you choose between her or the dog. Not like it’s Sophie’s Choice or anything. The dog wins 11 out of 10 times. Still, it’s not a conversation I’d look forward to having with my girl — especially one named Summer Miracle. Most Florida name of all time, who hundo p has to be a stripper, right?.
[via ABC13]
Image via Youtube

Nothing wrong with that, the pup stood his ground. Get it…florida dog? Don’t give me laps or else that dog will buttfuck you in your sleep, btw
9 years ago at 11:02 amWell fuck yall then
9 years ago at 8:37 pmYou tried… failed, but tried.
9 years ago at 5:22 pmNaming your dog Diesel and your girlfriend Summer Miracle. TFM
9 years ago at 11:05 amGuns don’t kill people, dogs do! Ban dogs from owning weapons!
9 years ago at 11:06 amGuess you guys don’t get the joke.
9 years ago at 12:03 pmOh we get it
9 years ago at 12:40 pmWould’ve been funny that the exclamation mark made it kinda gay… sorry bro.
9 years ago at 1:02 pm*but. Gimme laps.
9 years ago at 1:02 pmBecause Florida
9 years ago at 11:43 amIs this dog up for adoption?
9 years ago at 12:06 pmJust another day in the god forsaken land known as Florida.
9 years ago at 12:48 pmI live in FL and I can truly attest that we are the armpit of the nation…
9 years ago at 1:01 pmWow you live in Florida? That’s so cool bro.
9 years ago at 1:51 pmWow you’re an international frat student? So cool dude.
9 years ago at 3:01 pm*but. Gimme laps.
9 years ago at 1:02 pmThe dog is hereby fully pardoned for his crimes.
9 years ago at 8:55 pmWho the fuck just keeps a loaded gun on their nightstand? Good god….
9 years ago at 9:29 pmPeople in Florida with a girlfriend named Summer Miracle.
9 years ago at 10:27 am