FGCU Students Brought An Alligator Into The Dorms For Shits And Gigs
If you’re one of the many people who prefers to intentionally ignore the fact that Florida is a state that exists, this one’s not for you.
Three Florida Gulf Coast University students were given warnings over the weekend after they found a dead alligator, took it to a university dorm room, snapped pictures of it and posted a photo on social media.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission sent an officer to FGCU after getting a call from school police about the alligator.
“They just found it on the side of the road and thought it would be fun to take some photos with it,” said Brian Norris, an FWC spokesman.
FWC took possession of the carcass.
“It was actually a road kill alligator that they found and that was confirmed by the officer examining the carcass,” Norris said. “It was very clear evidence of it being road kill.”
FWC gave the three students warnings for possession of an alligator without proper permits.
“They admitted that they found it,” Norris said. “The officer confirmed … their story based on the markings and injuries to the alligator.”
This story is peak Florida. The only way it could get more Florida is if the FGCU students fed the dead gator bath salts and it reincarnated, eating the face off every vagabond in its path before heading to a terrible stadium and cheering for a sports team that nobody cares about.
As a Floridian myself, I feel compelled to stress the fact that this gator was road kill. And I’m not restating this so you don’t vilify the students; I’m saying it so you understand that hitting an alligator with your car is something that Floridians do. Every housewife in suburban Chicago stops their car and makes their 2.5 kids hold an animal funeral when they hit a squirrel; Floridians mow down gators and all they do afterwards is high five and wait for some college kids to come along and haul it off to their dorm for some sort of ritualistic photography session. That’s why Florida is both the best and worst state in the union..
[via News-Press.com]
Image via Shutterstock
The bath salts and eating peoples face off analogy is too soon man.
9 years ago at 2:59 pmFirst it’s People on bath salts eating peoples faces, now people are casually walking around with man eating reptiles, HARD pass on Florida
9 years ago at 3:08 pmI’m sure Florida will take a hard pass on your dumbass too
9 years ago at 3:27 pmWho do you know here
9 years ago at 3:57 pmNobody because this is an app, don’t know if you picked up on that yet
9 years ago at 4:00 pmI’m convinced you’re just a second account that vaginator made
9 years ago at 5:00 pmFloridian just know how to party. It’s all about perspective, Bob.
9 years ago at 4:18 pmReminds me of The Great Santini by Pat Conroy. The Dad aims for reptiles on the highway.
9 years ago at 3:15 pmA man walks into a bar with an alligator and puts the gator on a barstool. Then he unzips his pants, takes out his member, and puts it in the alligator’s mouth. He leaves it there five minutes, then takes it out and puts it back in his pants. He says, “I’ll bet $100 that no one here will try that.” A man at the bar says, “I’ll try it, but will you wash your dick first? I don’t like the taste of alligator.” Ha ha I’m going to put that on Facebook!
9 years ago at 3:29 pmHomosexual alligator dad jokes. TFM
9 years ago at 4:33 pmGet to the back, damnit.
9 years ago at 2:15 pmIt doesn’t get much more florida than this
9 years ago at 3:57 pmThe UF football game always falls during alligator season. A few guys in my fraternity have tags to fill every year. Coincidentally, they always seem to begin skinning the things just before the UF chapter shows up… right in the middle of the courtyard.
9 years ago at 3:59 pm… eating your rival schools mascot in front of them. TFM.
9 years ago at 4:00 pmGood one bro that’s really got us.. try again when you get a few more nattys.
9 years ago at 4:20 pmThere’s a whole blue mountain state episode dedicated to the idea
9 years ago at 5:01 pmYeah, but we can’t have our football players going around eating Seminole balls. They’d all get siphyllus. Which also occurred in an episode of BMS.
9 years ago at 9:19 pmA lot of times sharks and gators don’t get along but I’m fine with them. Don’t let anyone tell you one could kick a shark’s ass tho. That’s just a myth. Any shark could tear any gator or croc apart easily. #justsayin
9 years ago at 5:25 pmI respect the hell outta ya shark bro but as a Gator I must inform you that unless you’re a bull shark you can’t even make it in Gator water.
9 years ago at 10:52 pmIt’s a crocodile
9 years ago at 7:14 pm