For The Love Of God, Quit Shitting On Millennials

Hunterheim697 years ago

In recent years, millennials have been ruthlessly and relentlessly berated for every reason under the sun. From the way we take selfies to our lack of concern for our inherent futures, the time and energy put into the verbal pillaging of millennials’ character is not only unwanted, but founded entirely on misconceptions and bullshit. Now that the reign of the Baby Boomers has come to an end, and the induction rates into nursing home facilities has skyrocketed, previous generations have no other means of entertainment aside from fervent shit talking to 20-somethings on the internet.

The jabs at the millennial generation were undoubtedly entertaining at first, but, especially within the last two years, it’s come to a point where they’re just downright embarrassing. If I check my Twitter feed and see another hokey-pokey bullshit middle-aged mom ranting about how “$6.50 for an avocado toast at brunch is outrageous,” I’m going to stick the mini fork I’m using to eat this delectable escargot dish through my fucking eye.

Not only that, but those who partake in this debauchery are never overly productive members of society. Time and time again, politicians, business, and industry leaders, along with some of most influential people on this planet, have taken the time to express how they believe that millennials (also referred to as “Generation Y,” which, by the way, is a shitty letter) are going to be the generation that revolutionizes every aspect of human wellbeing. But your 65-year-old overweight Aunt Kathy? She just can’t shut the fuck up about how Snapchat filters will be the root of economic downfall.

I will concede, though, that a pretty solid amount of us unemployable deplorables have become almost comically sensitive to any and every socioeconomic development, which does warrant some degree of joshing on the previous generation’s part. The new wave of SJWs and green thumb suckers has disrupted entire industries and seemingly hit the reset button on everything society once thought to be normal. This paradigm shift, though oftentimes absurd and counterproductive, embodies the true nature of the millennial generation, which is that of progress and productivity. We just need to work out some of the kinks.

It may seem as though millennials have the mindset of entitled infants, but it truly comes down to us being products of our environments. This consumer-oriented culture in which we’ve been raised has opened our eyes to the wonders of Gucci flip flops and skinny jeans as well as every other fad and ideal created mostly by previous generations that are the basis of the never-ending slew of Facebook status battles (all being instigated by people who are tied to colostomy bags). You created us, old folks.

The simple fact of the matter is, millennials will not be the generation that incites another recession or initiates World War III. We will be the generation that will go down in history as one of the most progressive and influential to ever be conceived.

So next time that old douchebag in Starbucks starts shitting on your life because you ordered a drink with no dairy, throw up your man bun, adjust your ear gauges, and, most importantly, stand tall. You’ve earned it..

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