Former Steelers Kicker Jeff Reed Wasn’t Kicked Out Of Hall Of Fame Game, Is Still Kinda A Douche
10 years ago

Jeff Reed getting escorted out of HOF Game

I’m just gonna flat-out say it: I’m not a big fan of football. While my alma mater of DeVry University may be internationally renowned for the quality of its education, our unrivaled Greek life and party scene, and the fact that we have the lowest rate of sun-induced skin cancer in the U.S., our football program has always been absolute garbage. Imagine an underground abortion clinic and high-kill pet shelter share a dumpster, and that the neighborhood hobo population also uses said dumpster for their smelly (and oddly passionate) illicit sexual rendezvous. Now spray the whole thing down with some Colonel Kilgore-grade napalm, and you have the DeVry University football program.

When I heard that former Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed got kicked out of the Hall of Fame Game in Canton, Ohio for a crowd disturbance this past weekend, I at first sympathized with him. I, too, have been kicked out of a game before. While I was watching DeVry get rolled by the University of Phoenix last season in my apartment, my upstairs neighbor accidentally mistook a slice of bologna for his HALO disc and put it into his Xbox One during a LAN party. Thing smoked up the entire complex and we all had to evacuate. Landlord got pretty pissed because it was like the fourth weekend in a row that it happened, and shut down the Wi-Fi for the rest of the day.

But when I read more into this Jeff Reed fellow, I discovered that he’s a pretty big chotch.

Not only did this guy disgrace the game by stepping on the field looking like Guy Fieri going through a Harley-Davidson mid-life crisis; he also got flak a while back for sending a dick pic to women who had already rejected him. Showing a chick your unsolicited noodle is never the way to her heart. Trust me.

The Jeff Reed rollercoaster took me for another loop, however, when I read what really happened at the HOF Game, from the horse’s mouth:

It looks like Reed was actually being the bigger man in this situation. Crazy stuff. Not sure if I’m more proud of him or more impressed that there is a man out there that’s that far below Jeff Reed. Maybe he’s not so bad, after all. #TeamReed?

Never mind.

Image via Twitter/ @OUtkean

  2. ZeroPointZero

    “Imagine an underground abortion clinic and high-kill pet shelter share a dumpster, and that the neighborhood hobo population also uses said dumpster for their smelly (and oddly passionate) illicit sexual rendezvous.” – witnesses describing Dorn’s basement.

    10 years ago at 4:34 pm
  4. geed_N_proud

    Devry is an online college you dumb sack of shit. There’s not even Greek life that exists there. Bro.

    10 years ago at 4:52 pm
    1. geed_N_proud

      GOTEM. I’ll start taking my shoes off now and chill with the laps. Might even open up a cold one cause too Frat as fuck

      10 years ago at 5:02 pm
      1. OozmaKappa

        Your username, as well as your shitty insight, is the reason you can’t get farther than rushee status. Motion to blackball this guy

        10 years ago at 6:27 pm
      2. BlackballSteveHolt2

        Ive been an active bitch. I just decided I wanted to go inactive to pursue other things.

        10 years ago at 6:41 pm
      5. NorthernATO

        Who feels the need to have multiple accounts? Take a long walk off a short bridge Geed_N_Proud/BlackballSteveHolt2

        10 years ago at 7:45 pm
    1. thaisticktony

      Picture those Totino’s pizza roll commercials but replace all the kids with 40 year old dudes

      10 years ago at 6:54 pm