FOX’s Holly Sonders Is Going To Prom With Some Scrawny 16-Year-Old Punk
FOX’s resident golf minx, Michigan State Spartan, and former flame of yours truly, Holly Sonders, has always had a heart of gold. And by former flame, I mean we’d lock eyes in the hallways of GC, I’d smile, and she’d immediately pull out her iPhone to stare down at to avoid another second of interaction with a lowly intern. It was electric. I totally understand, Hol. It was nothing personal. You just got to have standards. Which is why this move you pulled over the weekend makes no sense at all.
Andrew Orischak, some 16-year-old junior amateur punk, made a bet with the long-legged, mini-skirt wearing, bronze vixen before the U.S. Junior Amateur this past weekend that if he walked away with the championship, she’d accompany him to his prom next spring. Fair enough. I respect the kid’s hustle, but he held a five-hole lead with eight to play, only to fold like a deck of cards being assembled by Walt Jr. from Breaking Bad.
The story should end there: Andrew blew it, and it’ll haunt him until his dying day. Except despite Andrew’s epic collapse, Holly has agreed to go with him — strictly out of pity.
From Golf Digest:
I know how crushing that must be for a teenager. I remember what it was like playing on the same stage many years ago (I won’t say how many.). Andrew put his heart and soul into the week, and we all could see how upset he was last evening.
I was having dinner with my mom and decided to tweet Andrew that my offer to accompany him to the prom was still on.
So, next spring we’ll go to his prom if he wants me to be his date. I’ll need a dress. And you better believe my Fox crew will be involved. They’re fighting over who can be the chaperone, our driver, photographer, etc. We’re all about bringing fun to golf.
This is “every kid gets a trophy” taken to the 100th power. If I was Andrew, I’d feel like a complete charity case. Not to mention, going to prom with any notable TV personality — a married one at that — never goes down the way your perverted teenage mind plans it out beforehand. You’ll snap a few pics, be chaperoned and slapped away by some assistant the entire night if you get too handsy, and best case scenario, you get a kiss on the cheek for your troubles.
Granted, maybe that’s exactly what you deserve. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen, losers awkwardly try to hide their full torqued hard-ons in their waistbands after slightly brushing shoulders with a celebrity..
[via Golf Digest]
Image via Youtube
Dan, you cannot hold a 5 shot lead in match play. You are either up or down
9 years ago at 12:45 pmAlso did anyone else notice how similar she’s looks to Madison Ivy?
9 years ago at 12:51 pmGoing with Madison might have caused his night to end on a better note
9 years ago at 2:05 pmI’m pretty sure TFM fucked up. That is a picture of Madison Ivy.
9 years ago at 3:08 pmHe meant 5 hole lead dick. Saw this happen live. You could see the kid crumble, as if Holly herself was letting the opponent finger blast her right in front of him.
9 years ago at 12:52 pmJesus Christ man.
9 years ago at 1:00 pmExactly. Barbaree, the kid who won it, took that geed to town on the final stretch of that round.
9 years ago at 12:29 amYou mad, Dan?
9 years ago at 12:46 pm#BlackBallSteveHolt
9 years ago at 12:51 pmThe twerp will lie about how far he got with her for the rest of his life.
9 years ago at 12:52 pmYou jealous you aren’t going to prom with him Dorn?
9 years ago at 1:50 pmshe kinda looks like madison ivy in 15 years after the porn and coke take effect
9 years ago at 12:54 pmIf this kid ever pledges, name him “Pity Bid”.
9 years ago at 12:56 pmPlaying collegiate golf beats pledging a fraternity to pay for friends.
9 years ago at 2:17 pmYou’re on the wrong website, guy.
9 years ago at 2:21 pmYou guys are all so pathetic.
9 years ago at 2:27 pmYou’re not funny nor are you going to be well-liked around here. Save yourself the pain and kindly get the fuck out.
9 years ago at 2:47 pmI think Hogarth or StallonDaMan made a new account. This should get interesting…
9 years ago at 9:38 pmWhat website do you think you are on, Chump? I would tell you to get ready to lace them up in a big time, but I doubt you would understand what I mean….
9 years ago at 2:22 pmWait this isn’t TotalCollegiateGolfMove.cum?
9 years ago at 2:34 pmLet me be your voice of reason, and tell you to kindly fuck off.
9 years ago at 2:23 pmOhhhh I see what you did there.
9 years ago at 2:30 pmTake your KCCO loving ass somewhere else motherfucker.
9 years ago at 2:48 pmShouldn’t you be trying to hand out some type of flyer outside of a library about stopping oil fracking or some other kind of dumb shit you fucking geed
9 years ago at 3:17 pmI wasn’t even in a fraternity and know that you’re not paying for friends, you’re paying for ragers, house maintenance, various other perks, future associated benefits, etc. Your voice seems to lack reason, buddy.
9 years ago at 5:51 pmDan, let’s be honest – she avoided you at all costs because she actually saw you swing a golf club – it’s that simple. Hell, I doubt I could look you in the eye since you scarred my entire being w/ that swing….
9 years ago at 12:56 pmShe didnt deserve you then and she doesnt deserve now dan, keep marchin on. #blackballhelmetstickers
9 years ago at 1:13 pmI would have said, send me a picture of your knockers and ill be just as happy.
9 years ago at 12:59 pmSteve Holt is the reason this kid choked so badly #blackballSteveHolt
9 years ago at 1:19 pmDan, this is a 16-year-old kid you are talking about. No one thinks you are funny; only bitter.
9 years ago at 1:30 pm