Fraternity Treasurer Steals Thousands From Chapter, Spends It On Chicken And Alcohol

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I am not on E-Board in my fraternity, though I have long been lobbying for my position as Pledge Mastur(bator) to be included. The Executive Board is reserved for those titles that hold the highest degrees of accountability and prestige, so it seems only fitting that my job of greasing the pledges’ geese would be part of that. Whose fault do you think it is if a pledge leaves the room unsatisfied? Mine, though realistically, I’m so good at this point that I highly doubt that would ever happen–just another reason why I deserve to be a head honcho. If I was elected to E-Board, I’d do a better job than former Eastern Kentucky Sigma Nu Treasurer Donald Hawkins did.

A member of the EKU chapter of Sigma Nu stole almost $4,000 from the chapter between Dec. 24, 2012 and Dec. 31, 2013, according to a Madison County grand jury’s May 28 indictment.

Donald Hawkins of Berea, the fraternity’s former treasurer, was given a chapter debit card for use in fraternity business, to purchase items for events, supplies, fuel, and catering, according to an EKU Police report…

According to released documents, (the fraternity’s president) told campus police that Hawkins used the fraternity’s debit card to make unauthorized purchases at several restaurants, bars and entertainment venues in Richmond and Lexington. Among them were Platinum Plus, Zaxby’s, and the Paddy Wagon. He also used it to pay his personal phone bill, the complaint added.

It appears as if Hawkins’ justification for committing the embezzlement is that he had used his treasurer skills to get his fraternity out of the red, and he believed he was entitled to some monetary compensation. Nothing says “enjoy the surplus” like “I’m spending the surplus!”

Hawkins went on to tell police that he wasn’t the only member of the chapter to dip his frat feet into the fraternity funds. Of course he didn’t name names, because he is lying. How can I tell? Never trust a man who picks Zaxby’s over Chick-fil-A. Ever.

Hawkins was arrested for his actions and promptly released on a bond that I can only assume was paid for on the fraternity’s credit card.

[via The Richmond Register]

  1. UpsidedownBackwardsVisor

    That first paragraph was the most awkward thing I’ve ever read.

    10 years ago at 9:52 pm
    1. O.A.Hazebrook

      Oh I get it, because your UpsidedownBackwardsVisor is what’s actually awkward.

      10 years ago at 2:06 pm