Gamblers Rejoice: The Supreme Court Killed The Ban On Sports Gambling

Mookie Bets7 years ago

It’s a GOD DAMN holiday, team. The federal ban on sports betting has been lifted by the Supreme Court and I can’t tell what I’m going to die from first. Excitement? Happiness? Starvation due to losing all of my money? Either way, I’m more ecstatic than OJ after the glove didn’t fit. Here’s the scoop.

From NBC News:

The U.S. Supreme Court acted Monday to bust Nevada’s monopoly on legal sports betting, allowing more states to get in on the action and reap the tax benefits.

The court struck down a federal law that required states to ban gambling on the outcome of sporting events. The Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act was highly unusual: it did not ban sports gambling nationwide as a matter of federal law, but it said the states were not allowed to permit it.

Nevada was grandfathered in when the law was passed in 1992.

New Jersey and then-Gov. Chris Christie challenged the law, arguing that it violated the Tenth Amendment, which the Supreme Court has said prohibits federal laws that compel states to carry out federal dictates. The gambling law, Christie said, commandeered the states by forcing them to prohibit sports wagering.

The funniest part about all of this is that Chris Christie, the FUPA King, is the hero here. The only things New Jersey had previously given us were some tan, obnoxious guidos with a reality show, but now NJ has led the charge to get sports gambling legal in the United States. The armpit of America just came up clutch.

It’s about time this happened. The government has finally realized the amount of tax revenue they can generate from degenerates like myself that lose their monthly rent on afternoon baseball games or overseas basketball. It is estimated that Americans already spend $150 billion on sports wagering every year, and that $10 billion of it comes from March Madness alone. It’s an absolute gold mine, and it was only a matter of time before the government cashed in on it.

The only downside to this is that your local bookie will no longer have a job. That sketchy kid who would take your bets, work out a payment plan for you, and hire a scary dude to beat the shit out of you will no longer be needed and that’s kind of sad. I love my bookie, but I won’t cry because our relationship is over; I’ll smile because it happened.

New Jersey will be the first state to take advantage of this ruling along with Delaware, Connecticut, Iowa, New York, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia. If you need me this summer, I’ll be in Atlantic City sipping on a cold beer and placing legal wagers on the World Cup.

Rejoice, gamblers; our time is here. .

Image via Shutterstock