Girl Instagrams Selfie With Rotting Cadaver At UAB, Is Awful Human Being
11 years ago

selfiefromhell

With this story, it’s not even worth putting on airs and writing a proper introduction. This fucked up girl took a selfie with a rotting corpse. What else is there to say? Even though the picture is blurred out, that body does not seem fresh, at all. The girl is in high school, but was on a senior anatomy class field trip to the University of Alabama at Birmingham’s biology department when she whipped out her cellphone and snapped her pic next the decomposing body of either a charitable grandparent or a bridge-dwelling vagrant.

While alarming, I’m also excited by the picture, because it proves we’re one step closer to getting our first murder selfie, which I’m actually looking forward to. What’s a murder selfie, you ask? It’s a selfie taken while the girl is literally being murdered, arm straight out with cell phone in hand as the killer chokes the life out of her. #PleaseGodHelpMe #NotBlessed

The murder selfie will, of course, inevitably lead to a terrible movie starring Bruce Willis, or a fantastic movie starring Nicholas Cage, about an ex-D.C. cop who has to find his daughter’s murderer, the meticulous lunatic serial killer known only as “The Potomac Slut Strangler,” a psychopath who never leaves behind clues, but this time he fouled up, because he left a man with nothing left to lose a glimpse of vengeance, in a Lo-Fi filter.

In fairness to the girl, this shouldn’t be viewed as an example of how terrible modern kids are. If the boys from Stand By Me had cellphones and Instagram, you better believe they would’ve posted that corpse pics the moment they found the thing. Corey Feldman would’ve gotten a shot of him standing over the dead body, doing a tough guy pose while holding River Phoenix’s gun. Kids have always been terrible people — the only difference is that now they document their terribleness.

New dead body selfie rule: if the corpse is less than 100 years old, you aren’t allowed to take a picture of it. Okay, kids? Mummies only.

[via The Huffington Post]

  4. The_PA_Guy

    When a girl at a morgue is all like “I bet if you jammed your arm up a cadaver’s ass, you could use them as a puppet.” as you nod your head and hand them embalming fluid as you lead her back to your house to bang. TFM

    11 years ago at 12:42 pm
    1. Kappa Significant

      It’s disrespectful to the person who donated their body to that lab. I wouldn’t want my corpse broadcasted all over Instagram, you fuck.

      11 years ago at 3:40 pm
  7. Cottonmouth

    Why is this terrible but a mummy is ok? They are all just as dead. If it was a freshly murdered non-hooker corpse I guess that would be shitty but it’s far from fresh. Dead is dead.

    11 years ago at 1:07 pm