Golden Tee: A Frat House Must
The Golden Tee follow-through. Those familiar with the game can picture it now. It’s an artful, picturesque motion recognized in bars, restaurants and fraternity houses alike. The thud of a palm to the trackball. The hand thrust toward the screen and the leg-off-the-floor follow-through are some customary traits of this virtual golf art form. The GT tee shot is the hallmark maneuver of barroom arcade games. Everyone has their own unique style and flavor, but they all have something in common. They all involve coming absolutely unhinged when striking the ball. Necessary or not, you can’t let your boys see you delicately hitting THAT fucking tee shot. It’s the only arcade game where a pre-game stretch is recommended. But what else is behind this iconic arcade game and the trackball swing we identify it with? It’s not just a long drive contest.
The incredibly diverse techniques, from stepping into and ripping the drive, to the ‘easy does it’ double-thumb putting, are part of why this game is so damn fun. It truly is a great game, and very intricate. The novice player just rips the driver, guesses on his approach, and kicks it around the green for a double or triple bogey. Contrarily, the Golden Tee veteran understands and implements the many strategic subtleties of the game. Drive placement, approach club selection and spin control are vital to setting up your birdie putts. Need to bend your shot? Shaping your approach is doable, but it’s an acquired skill that will take some trial and error. Once you reach the dance floor, the men are separated from the boys, and differentiating rookie from pro is simple. Most go with the double-thumb roll for maximum accuracy. And the breakers are no joke. Watching a casual Golden Tee user try and find the right line on a four-foot break is akin to witnessing Ryan Seacrest try to navigate his way around a set of D-cups. It’s not going to be pretty. Only some dedicated seasoning can turn you into a solid putter.
If Golden Tee Home Edition isn’t prominently displayed in your house, break off a piece of your social budget and make it happen. It’s a natural fit if there ever was one. In an environment filled with moderate to exceedingly inebriated golfing enthusiasts, it’s the perfect time killer, and will often draw a crowd. It’s also the ideal game for the competitive hot head. Tourneys, or even a casual round between classes, will undoubtedly lead to intense emotions and an unpleasant exchanging of words. If U.S. currency or a pre-determined quantity of alcohol to be consumed isn’t riding on your game, you’re doing it wrong.
After a few dedicated seasons behind the trackball, you can start to work toward the ultimate goal, the GT World Rankings Leaderboard. And when you hit that #1 tee box for the first time, don’t forget to turn the cap backwards, roll up your sleeves, get solid footing, and step the fuck into it.
Follow me on Twitter @RogerDornTFM
Hell fucking yes. Wonderful game.
13 years ago at 4:51 pmhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ccUDrB_8jQ
13 years ago at 6:50 pmOley!
13 years ago at 10:21 amhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X8552DxqOk&feature=related
13 years ago at 10:25 amHats. For Bats
13 years ago at 11:42 amBest game to play at the bar.
13 years ago at 10:19 amI’d rather play Golden Pee.
13 years ago at 10:59 am^I see what you did there.
13 years ago at 11:44 amFratdusky has been on his game as of late.
13 years ago at 12:04 pmWell done, Dorn.
13 years ago at 10:25 amTeam Dorn for life
13 years ago at 11:05 amBest friends forever!!!!
13 years ago at 11:39 amhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsGP35Vd6qQ
13 years ago at 10:36 amBravo.
13 years ago at 10:29 amDrive for show, putt for dough motherbitches.
13 years ago at 10:39 amI may actually use “motherbitches” in the future.
13 years ago at 11:01 am^
13 years ago at 12:35 pmDorn likes thorns in his ass. Fact.
13 years ago at 10:44 amSounds like you have had personal experience.
13 years ago at 12:24 pmThat is not a fact, in fact.
13 years ago at 2:38 pmThat’s not what Bacon told me.
13 years ago at 6:03 pmTeam Bacon
13 years ago at 10:49 amFuck you Dorn
13 years ago at 11:51 amHey, screw you guys.
13 years ago at 12:20 pmBacon is pretty chill.
13 years ago at 12:27 pm^^ Teabag a bear trap
13 years ago at 8:37 pmFrat the fuck on, Dorn. Solid column.
13 years ago at 11:11 amThanks, pal.
13 years ago at 2:38 pmHe’s not your pal, buddy.
13 years ago at 3:23 pmHe’s not your buddy, tool.
13 years ago at 4:59 pmHe’s not your tool, Asslicker
13 years ago at 4:59 pmHe’s not your asslicker, Cumswallower
13 years ago at 5:00 pmHe’s not your cumswallower, Fratdusky’s little boy
13 years ago at 5:46 pmDare I?
13 years ago at 8:10 am^^^i don’t know this guy but he seems FaF.
13 years ago at 9:29 pmHaving a Golden Tee in your house growing up. TFM
13 years ago at 11:42 am^this guy get’s it
13 years ago at 12:04 pmgets. fuck.
13 years ago at 12:04 pm^^^
13 years ago at 8:06 pmRe. Tard.
Shit I realized you were helplessly correcting your own grammatical mistake…sorry bro. Lacing.
13 years ago at 8:08 pmDad bought me the Golden tee game for my 15th birthday, as well as the other 5000+ arcade games that are the machine, a ping pong table, shuffleboard table, pool table, and poker table. All of which he donated to the castle after i got initiation. The old game room is now his “cigar room”
13 years ago at 7:37 am