Gronk’s Porn Star Friend Retires With Emotional Video
12 years ago

After climbing to the top of the adult film industry, 20-year-old Bibi Jones is retiring. Yesterday, via twitter and YouTube, the self-proclaimed “major super slut” announced that she has been unhappy with herself for some time, and after reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle she has decided to turn over a new leaf.

It turns out Bibi’s real name is Britney Maclin, and she’s tired of hurting her family by letting the world watch her get stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey. She even changed her twitter handle to @Britney_Maclin as part of her recent transformation, and wrote “Starting a new chapter in my life” as her bio. Who knew porn stars read self help books, and how funny is it that she felt inclined to notify viewers that it took her a “couple months” to read the book, but not because she’s a slow reader? I wasn’t judging. I imagine it’s really fucking difficult to read a book with several oversized penises being thwacked in your face.

All things considered, something tells me she’s pulling a Michael Jordan, or Jay-Z, and this isn’t the end. I’ve personally seen this girl get rammed by over 20 individual dongs, and she’s only 20 years old. There’s no coming back from that. What morally conscious industry would even consider hiring her? I felt like she was somehow attempting to suck my dick through the computer screen during 75% of her teary retirement video for fuck’s sake. But, as Britney says, “Everyone knows that porn doesn’t last forever and family is number one.” That’s why I’d like to offer her a position as my secretary at TFM Headquarters, because family is number one.

Last NFL season, Bibi became the most searched for porn star in the world after tweeting pictures of her with Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski. To see her naked, or having multiple holes filled, search “Bibi Jones” on Google.

  4. This Fuckin Guy

    She’s from Moore, Oklahoma. Maybe she’ll move home. Need a place to crash for a while? The wheels are a-turnin’.

    12 years ago at 1:10 pm
  5. NobleLeslieDeFratty

    Worst. curtains. ever. this girl couldn’t have an uglier snatch if she clipped weights to its wings.

    12 years ago at 2:24 pm
  7. Shut Up Whore

    What does this chick think she’s going to do now – get married and have a family? Doing porn is like banging a b.lack guy – once you do it once you’re damaged goods and there’s no going back.

    12 years ago at 3:05 pm
    1. LEGENwaitforitDARY

      I’m willing to bet that she’s done that too. There really is no hope left for her. Not that there ever was since, you know, she thought that getting railed by 15 inch dongs was a suitable way to make a living.

      12 years ago at 3:23 pm
  8. TheCommodore

    Did anyone else feel like there is no life behind her eyes? I feel guilty about the fact that I’m about to go do the five-knuckle shuffle to some of her work.

    12 years ago at 4:11 pm
  10. Richard Sperry Owens

    Out of habit, I skipped to the middle of the video and was really disappointed.

    12 years ago at 6:31 pm