High School Frat Prospects
13 years ago

Note: The following characters are fictional.

Clayton Hodge

Height: 5’10”
Weight: 190 lbs.
High School: Beaumont Kelly – Beaumont, TX
GPA: 2.9

Strengths:
– dedicated alcoholic
– can bong two beers in 5 seconds flat
– father is successful lawyer
– seasoned crawfish boiler
– doesn’t believe in monogamy
– smooth talker, regularly outkicks coverage with girls

Weaknesses:
– has a lifted truck with dual exhaust and Flowmasters
– faint signs of a receding hairline
– has an entire Rascal Flatts album on his iPod

Classmate Quote: “Good ole Hodgie. Wouldn’t let him near my girlfriend. I’ll tell you that much.”

Considering: Texas A&M, Texas State, LSU

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  3. Pike714

    Two things… nice Aaron Corp picture… and El Modena is the worse part of Orange County.

    13 years ago at 2:40 pm
    3. Buckley

      Yeah, New Trier is definitely one of the more “preppy” and old-money schools in the midwest, but HP blows it out of the water

      13 years ago at 3:36 am
    5. Fraternity Lifestyle

      New Trier can suck a fucking schlong. I’m not even from Illinois, but every single person I know from there is a fuck and thinks that New Trier is the biggest thing since free porn.

      13 years ago at 11:52 pm
    1. Jon M Fratsman

      First the geed grass fairy brother, and now this? Cmon man, you’re making our Volunteer State look bad. I don’t think there’s anything inherently F or NF about watersports, and I know for a fact that waterskiing while shithoused is awesome, but if I had to say anything of that nature was NF it would be wakeboarding.

      13 years ago at 4:15 pm
    2. Tennessee__

      What exactly’s wrong with wakeboarding?

      people who say that are people who have no fucking coordination or physical ability to be able to compete in the damn sport. Waterskiing, just like regular skiing, is the queer side of the sport.

      13 years ago at 5:24 pm
    5. Bropenhagen

      Gonna have to disagree with you there, cochise. Skiing, whether water or snow, is the much more heterosexual and frat counterpart of both elements. Case in point (at least for winter sports): Bode Miller vs Shaun White.

      13 years ago at 9:21 pm
    8. Tennessee__

      I’ll agree with your Bode Miller and Shaun White example, i’ll give you that.

      But, boarding over skiing any day still.

      13 years ago at 8:05 am
  8. Bernanke is a Hebe

    Wellington High School is where all the poor fucks go. Anyone with money in Wellington goes to one of the magnet schools. Wellington HS, NF.

    13 years ago at 4:19 pm
    1. Cigar Aficionado

      For the most part, Broward County NF. Palm Beach County FaF. very, very few parts of Dade County FaF.

      13 years ago at 5:19 pm
  10. HopsScotch

    “Note: These characters are fictional.”

    Fuck you, Dorn.
    I read that whole goddamned thing. Fuck you, man.

    13 years ago at 6:09 pm