How Psychotic Do You Have To Be To Order Endless Buffalo Wings AND A Burger?

Dillon Cheverere10 years ago

This is one of the many reasons that people around the world have such great disdain for Americans — we’re disgusting, unappreciative gluttons. There are countries around the globe facing extreme famine right now. Starving children in third-world countries are keeling over and dying this very second because their bodies can no longer function without adequate sustenance. Just an emaciated heap of flesh and bones. Dead. Very sad.

Then we have the far opposite end of the spectrum in TFM Writer/ company meathead Danny Regs, who rolls into a TGI Fridays on a low-key Tuesday night and orders endless buffalo wings — very literally an unlimited amount of buffalo wings — and he decides that “you know, this isn’t enough food,” so on top of the never-ending supply of wings and celery, he adds a fucking hamburger to his meal. That’s all-you-can-eat PLUS a hamburger for those at home keeping score.

What an absolute psychopath. (Not even getting into the fact that he’s going cutoff tee in a restaurant. That’s a whole different column.)

That’s like ordering bottomless mimosas at brunch, PLUS a vodka tonic. It’s like staying at an all-inclusive resort and leaving the property for beers and burgers down the street. It’s like getting comped at The Wynn and paying for a room at the Bellagio. Throw out the fact that you’re spending money unnecessarily, it’s pompously wasteful and, well, it’s just fucking psychotic.

Thanks for endorsing this behavior, TGI Fridays. Fucking monsters..