I Hacked TFM’s Emails And This Is What I Found
11 years ago

I Hacked TFM's Emails, And This Is What I Found

Securing your internal communications is a daunting task, even for the most experienced and professional technicians. As we saw with Sony, even the giants can take one in the dick. The hackers who took down one of the most well-known corporations in the world inspired me. Those hackers provided me with a feeling I have not experienced in years: happiness.

I was happy. I was happy because after years of brainstorming and deliberation, the perfect method of exposing the internal banter of Grandex had become apparent. Leaked emails are the way to go, and I have some fucking good ones to share with you today.

I’ll most likely seal my fate with this release, but the extra smacks of the paddle are worth it for the world to see what I deal with every day of my pitiful existence. These are some of the best from a collection of emails saved in our system. I will release more should I get the chance.

These people are not professionals. They are simply overachieving children suffering from debilitating alcoholism and a severe lack of sexual interaction. Enjoy, motherfuckers.

Click images to enlarge.

Bacon’s Attempt To Get Mizzou Season Tickets

Bacon Season Tickets

Dorn Updating DeVry Guy On His Internship

Dorn and Devry

Issues With Building Management

Office Management Issues

Our Hazing Allegations

Department Of Labor 1

Department of Labor 2

Department of Labor 3

Dick Perry Meets Dick Perry

DICK PERRY

Stuff Frat People Like’s 2015 Look-Ahead

Really Big Titties

Jack Hammer’s Odd Emails To Our Instagram Babes

Jack Hammer

The Forums

Forums 1

Forums 2

(Note: All emails are completely fabricated. Although we do not deny the claims of functional alcoholism and sexual poverty, we are surprisingly not this juvenile and inept.)

  2. JerryJones

    SFPL evens uses lists in his emails, what a bitch. Bacon, keep finding for us you pasty fuck! #BringBackThe.Forums

    11 years ago at 11:09 am
      2. soldier_for_freedom

        The internet actually said something funny, it’s a Christmas miracle that’s come early.

        11 years ago at 1:08 pm

    1. Here’s a modest proposal for the F***ms: If TFM is worried about the forums being a place that the outside world would see and cause advertisers to pull sponsorship, why not make it a requirement to sign in to access them? That way only people with accounts can get in and see the content and its hidden from the majority of the sites supposed traffic.

      11 years ago at 1:20 pm
    2. Mr_Worthington

      I come back for break, all excited to check back in to the shenanigans and I see they’re gone. Why did comrade He Who Ruined the Forums take them down this time?

      11 years ago at 4:09 pm
    1. FrattyTrappings

      Tech Guy the Jew ruined it for you three times. He killed you, he killed the forums, and he kept them from being ressurected. #LynchTechGuy #HeHasNoSoul

      11 years ago at 12:57 pm
      1. soldier_for_freedom

        Don’t say his name! He gets as pissy as a prissy girl who doesn’t get her way. He will change your comments and make you looks worse then he is.

        11 years ago at 1:03 pm
  8. Frock_Itch

    You useless fucking turd, Intern. May you and your entire mongoloid family endure a joyless Fratmas. You’re a failure, a shit stain on society. Rot in hell.

    11 years ago at 11:16 am
      4. USArmy

        Deployed during the holidays. Damn. We’ve got you in our thoughts and prayers this Christmas. Come home safe.

        11 years ago at 11:58 am
      5. Curlsfordagirls

        As you most likely know it’s not why. It’s yes sir. no matter the date of the year or time of day we do what we’re told and handle business.

        11 years ago at 12:07 pm
      6. USArmy

        Yeah, I know the feeling. I’ve missed a lot of holidays over the years. When I was in Afghanistan I had some Ramen noodes, peanut butter crackers and a Dr Pepper for my Thanksgiving meal. Strangely, I remember sitting there and thinking about all the things I was truly thankful for that year. It’s stuck out as one of my most memorable Thanksgivings I’ve ever had.

        11 years ago at 12:15 pm
      1. Ihavefirmnipples

        As far as I am concerned, there are our pledges at the bottom of the food chain, then 100 miles of vaginal discharge…. then there’s the intern.

        11 years ago at 12:42 pm
  9. SphincteralMicturation

    You have the gall to post this shit and not fail friday? Take a step back and literally fuck your own face, intern.

    11 years ago at 11:17 am