I Hacked TFM’s Emails And This Is What I Found

TFM Intern11 years ago

Securing your internal communications is a daunting task, even for the most experienced and professional technicians. As we saw with Sony, even the giants can take one in the dick. The hackers who took down one of the most well-known corporations in the world inspired me. Those hackers provided me with a feeling I have not experienced in years: happiness.

I was happy. I was happy because after years of brainstorming and deliberation, the perfect method of exposing the internal banter of Grandex had become apparent. Leaked emails are the way to go, and I have some fucking good ones to share with you today.

I’ll most likely seal my fate with this release, but the extra smacks of the paddle are worth it for the world to see what I deal with every day of my pitiful existence. These are some of the best from a collection of emails saved in our system. I will release more should I get the chance.

These people are not professionals. They are simply overachieving children suffering from debilitating alcoholism and a severe lack of sexual interaction. Enjoy, motherfuckers.

Click images to enlarge.

Bacon’s Attempt To Get Mizzou Season Tickets

Dorn Updating DeVry Guy On His Internship

Issues With Building Management

Our Hazing Allegations

Dick Perry Meets Dick Perry

Stuff Frat People Like’s 2015 Look-Ahead

Jack Hammer’s Odd Emails To Our Instagram Babes

The Forums

(Note: All emails are completely fabricated. Although we do not deny the claims of functional alcoholism and sexual poverty, we are surprisingly not this juvenile and inept.).