I Just Met You, and This is Crazy, But I Hacked Your Phone and Stole Naked Pictures
There are real, confirmed naked pictures of Carly Rae Jepsen that have yet to be released, but they’re out there… excuse me.
(*20 Minutes Later*)
Sorry, I had to run home real quick and change my pants, the front of which I just blew a shotgun-esque load through. Now where was I? Right, there are naked pictures of Carly Rae Jepsen that may soon surface…
(*Another 20 Minutes Later*)
I just ruined my keyboard and had to get another one. Not from jizzing on it. My load, which looked like it came from a chaste woolly mammoth, actually shot all the way up to the ceiling and the subsequent dripping ruined the keyboard. I told the intern to clean it up but he started crying and ran off.
So, anyway, now that I’m confident that I have no more seed to spill all over the TFM offices, there are naked pictures of Carly Rae Jepsen and alkshgioerpsaiorbnpsgqoieraghjipeoah…
OH GOD MY DICK IS DRY HEAVING! IT HURTS SO BAD! MY LEFT TESTICLE JUST IMPLODED! LEFTYYY! NOOOOOO!!!! JUST READ THIS FOX NEWS STORY ABOUT HOW THERE ARE NAKED PICTURES OF CARLY RAE JEPSENNAHAHAAAHAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
***UPDATE***
I know Dorn already covered this, but I’m not NOT writing about Carly Rae Jepsen’s naked pict…
(*too much blood rushes to penis, passes out*)
[h/t to reader frat in a can]
- [via Fox News]
She really isn’t that attractive
12 years ago at 4:32 pmliving out here in So Cal, lots of us get a chance to see alot of these people without the ‘glamour’ shots – and photo’s almost always lie.
even more so, because i have family in the movie business and we joke alot about certain movie ‘stars’ who actually have clauses in their agreements or demand directors to shoot them with the camera only under ‘low’ or ‘darkened’ lighting – to hide age spots, imperfections, etc. – this is not a lie. so what you see on screen ain’t the truth either.
kind of the truth behind all these ‘sexy’ shots you don’t hear about.
12 years ago at 5:18 pm^ I’m sure Carly Rae Jepsen has tons of age spots.
12 years ago at 5:50 pm^^Holy shit no one cares.
12 years ago at 6:00 pm^^^The best thing to come out of california is I-80, go back to watching TMZ
12 years ago at 7:48 pmshe still isn’t that attractive..we’ve all seen and done better.
12 years ago at 10:17 pmtmz?
12 years ago at 4:13 am@Ty Fucking Webb – Try Ronald Reagan. Enough said.
12 years ago at 6:19 amWho’s Carly Rae Jespen?
12 years ago at 4:36 pmI don’t know, but Carly Rae Jepsen is the singer of Call Me Maybe.
12 years ago at 5:51 pmOh that makes sense now.
12 years ago at 6:14 pm12 years ago at 7:24 pm
It’s ectoplasm… ghosts.
12 years ago at 9:41 pmThere’s a video of her giving a BJ on the website for b.lack people, called WolrdStar Hip Hop.
12 years ago at 10:06 pmYou can also find it on white people websites.
12 years ago at 11:55 pmdat white bitch be all up on worldstar
12 years ago at 7:32 amAtta boy, Bacon.
12 years ago at 3:51 amI just peed my pants from laughing so hard.
12 years ago at 4:32 amhey
12 years ago at 7:11 amheyo
12 years ago at 11:45 am