I Might Be Out On Brooks Koepka

I could not have been happier with yesterday’s final round at Erin Hills. Not only did the guy I’ve been touting for the last few years around the office and on the Grandex network of podcasts break through with his first major win and tie Rory’s U.S. Open scoring record, but I also swooped in on some last minute 4/1 Sunday action that have my pockets jingling with a little extra coin today. Not exactly life-changing, tell my superiors to “suck it” money, but a solid return on investment comparable to throwing a honey drenched sumo wrestler into one of those Japanese gameshow cash blowing cubes. Koepka could do no wrong in my eyes. Or so I thought.

Now, I know you golfers are fairly new to the weight room, but pounding your chest over a Planet Fitness smith machine is not the look you think it is, Claude. Having a spotter on a self spotting bench for a buck seventy-five? If we actually wanted to further the rhetoric that golfers weren’t real athletes, this would be pretty high on our priority list.

And I just can’t idly sit by as Brooks willingly throws himself to the wolves broadcasting these faux pas for all of the world to see. No, sir. Especially not when I’m offering a buy two get one free online training sesh at DannyRegsFit.com. We’ll cover all the basics like “Should I leave the free weight section?” The answer to that riddle is no. Little freebie for you. We’re also running a special on supplements and merch, too, so make sure to stock up on those BCAAs and grab a tank top while you’re there. It’s time to invest that Mich Ultra money into yourself, Brooks. Let’s talk shop soon.

  1. Shoeless_bro_jackson69

    Pretty sure that’s a 45 and two 25’s on each side.. could be 10’s though. Regardless it’s not 175 cause the smith bar doesn’t weigh shit

    8 years ago at 6:12 pm
    1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

      It weighs 20lb. I don’t know how Dan does math, but 175 isn’t even a possible outcome. And it’s either 210 or 130.

      8 years ago at 6:56 am
    1. Fratty Couples PGA

      He knocked a 3-wood 400 on #18 y’all can lap me but that’s above average.

      8 years ago at 12:16 am
    1. SharkWeekTFM

      A record low number of people.
      Me being one of them (if I’m using “people” loosely).

      It’s those certain Republicans who back him at every turn in spite of themselves that are helping kill the party. There is nothing anti-republican about calling out ludicrousness when you see it. PC culture deserves to be called out. So does any politician fucking up. We have high standards and should hold our representatives to those high standards.

      8 years ago at 11:19 pm
    2. DrGonzoTFM

      Depends on the day. He’s been disappointing me with his cucking on immigration lately.

      8 years ago at 7:42 am
  2. JayFratler

    Regardless, he still gets to slam his supermodel girlfriend whenever he wants. I think he wins.

    8 years ago at 6:53 pm
    1. chillonstfm

      He dates a female soccer player. I mean I wouldn’t call her ugly, but “supermodel” is quite a stretch.

      8 years ago at 9:34 pm
      1. Broties n Boatshoes

        Her name is Jena Sims. She’s a model and an actress. There are nudes out there gentlemen. Godspeed.

        8 years ago at 10:09 pm
      2. TaylorSwiftsPubeGroomer

        Some of her movie roles include Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader and 3-Headed Shark Attack. “Actress” is stretching it…

        8 years ago at 7:35 am