I Want To Be A Republican So Badly: Donald Trump

I Want To Be A Republican So Badly- Donald Trump

So I assume all of you watched the Republican debate the other night. I mean, heck…24 million people did, so if you didn’t, you either don’t give a shit, or you somehow forgot that we elect our leaders in this country. Even if you missed it, I’m sure you saw some Donald Trump clips the next day. The current popular rhetoric on Trump goes something like this: “Yeah, the dude is ridiculous, but it’s refreshing to have a candidate actually say what he thinks. We get packaged responses from every other politician, but thank God that Donald is just telling it how it is, even if it’s insane.” Shockingly, I have a ton of liberal friends, and even some of them are actually saying the same thing. They’re happier that he’s speaking his mind than they are upset about the fact that his words are those of a crazy person.

There are three potential reasons that Donald Trump is allowed to be as popular as he is right now:

1. He represents a shift in the party toward insanity (which, given some of the shit we’ve witnessed from republicans who actually are in office, is not too far off).

2. He’s a voice of the things that people think, but don’t want to say. This is, of course, the most popular. Somehow, by Trump being an asshole, and not apologizing for being an asshole, it makes him better than career politicians who have committed the capital crime of measuring their words.

3. He’s only being given a platform to make the eventual republican nominee look sane by comparison.

I’m assuming (hoping) that number three is the most likely. Donald Trump is a fucking moron. He was born into money, fell out of money, stumbled back into money, assumed he was smart, and decided to take the reality TV route into more money, rather than, you know, actually making good business decisions. And now we find him here, on the grand stage of actual presidential candidates. And somehow we let him remain there. Why? Oh, shit. It’s because he’s leading in the polls.

Look, I’m not worried about Trump just because he’s leading the polls now. I can’t name a single candidate in the modern era who actually won the presidency after leading the polls this early. What I’m worried about is that Trump is even here to begin with. There were several guys who looked good in the last debate. Jeb came off as an intellectual, which is impressive, given that he’s basically assumed to be the lesser version of his brother. Marco Rubio was sharp, and made himself a contender, despite his age. Rand Paul (full disclosure, the guy I plan to vote for), had a bad time overall, but still looked good. He spent too many words talking about the constitution with Christie, who’s a piece of shit (fat, or otherwise). Ted Cruz may be a serious candidate, but the fact that I consider him to be a disgrace to the ideals of political discourse may (hopefully) overwhelm him.

The most important thing is the aftermath. What did people talk about? Hell, if you look at the list of people I follow on Twitter, it’s basically all liberals. Why? Because most of the people I follow are comedians, and the best comedians are liberal. Is that a political problem? I don’t know. Maybe more conservatives should try to be professionally funny, and, you know…be good at it.

Anyway, the point that I’m attempting to make here is that there’s not an intelligent conservative on the planet who supports Trump. In fact, all well-read conservatives think Trump is a joke, and assume that he’s only running to promote his brand as a businessman. However, Trump is currently leading the polls. Trump is dominating the conversation of the republican debate. Trump may be a patsy to make the eventual republican nominee look sane by comparison, but make no mistake, the fact that we, as a party, are allowing an ignorant, trust fund baby, multiple bankrupter to EVER lead the poll of our party, means that WE are fucking up. Donald Trump being popular is not a ploy, it’s a mistake, and republicans deserve better.

Image via YouTube

  1. Nathaniellight

    It would be nice to see someone whose not a career politician be president

    9 years ago at 9:58 am
    1. BourbonAndBlazers

      This is exactly why I’ve been saying it would be really interesting to see a Carson-Fiorina ticket. I’m not sure how electable they would be, but it would still be cool to see how two non-career politicians could turn this country around, especially given that Fiorina understands the private sector, and Carson would know how to draft a real healthcare reform bill.

      9 years ago at 12:22 pm
  2. AmericanStallion1776

    Reagan wasn’t afraid to say what he thought, and he wasn’t a career politician. Let’s Make America Great Again. Trump 2016

    9 years ago at 9:59 am
  3. Mexican Romney

    Who are you reading that says Jeb is the lesser Bush. if anything the man is widely considered the smarter Bush. Down here in Florida he’s widely liked and respected by both Republicans and Democrats.

    9 years ago at 9:59 am
    1. ChiODarling

      Figures the “mexican” romney would totally have the hots for the one rino with the most generous amnesty policy for illegals everywhere. Any of you closet liberals ever consider the idea that maybe trump is leading because he’s not like idk, “moderate”…like romney,mccain et al…like idk,just a thought maybe

      9 years ago at 1:58 pm
      1. ChiODarling

        Being right-wing = being a moron?I’m intrigued…care to expand how’d you figure that?

        9 years ago at 3:32 pm
      2. Royalewithcheese

        You can be conservative and still understand that the left is right about some things, that’s what being a moderate republican means. Right wing doesn’t mean extreme right it means conservative leaning.

        9 years ago at 5:21 pm
      3. Royalewithcheese

        Also McCain wins in 08 if the economy crashes 3 months later and if he doesn’t choose Sarah palin as his running mate. Anyone with basic knowledge of American politics knows that.

        9 years ago at 5:30 pm
      4. ChiODarling

        You can be a real conservative without being far-right.You can be a paleo-con. A moderate is effectively a centrist(most definitely not right-wing).You cant claim to understand what left-wing ideology is,agree with bits of it and then call yourself a right-winger.You’re not- you’re most probably a rino. If i were to guess, i’d bet you’re the usual “i like calling myself republican,even though i’m basically liberal in every social sense imaginable,but like free markets or something!” sort of type…Wannabe.

        9 years ago at 6:56 pm
      5. ChiODarling

        What a shitty retort. I’m sorry i can’t grant the favor you delicate little flower.

        9 years ago at 7:37 pm
      6. Mexican Romney

        You seem a little angry ChiODarling, you must have blood coming out your wherever.

        9 years ago at 7:59 am
      7. Mexican Romney

        Trump commands 26% of Republican primary voters. While that’s a plurality it’s far from a majority. the only reason he’s the “frontrunner” is because the other 74% of the primary electorate is delved up among 16 candidates. As soon as candidates start dropping out I guarantee you Trump’s lead dwindles.

        tl,dr: Sit down woman, men are talking

        9 years ago at 7:12 pm
      8. ChiODarling

        missed the point there juanito boy. I didn’t even say i’m a trump-supporter myself. It’s just that he’s clearly got a higher level of supporters as an individual candidate-which may be somewhat indicative that there’s a significant chunk of gop voters that are legitimately angry about the party becoming moderate(i.e. liberal). Food for thought really, maybe moving even further towards the center isn’t a good strategy?Anyway, Jeb Bush is the poster-boy for the perfect rino(and that’s even taking away that bizzare latino fetish he’s got)…Trump “trumps” bush anyday.

        9 years ago at 7:46 pm
  4. DornsFather94

    I’m not planning on voting for Trump, but he was born into only several million dollars and turned it into 8 billion in net worth. You can’t do that with just a reality TV show and you shouldn’t downplay that

    9 years ago at 10:21 am
      1. PopTheChampaign

        Thats still a 4000% increase there bud. Quite impressive if you know anything about money.

        9 years ago at 10:32 am
  5. Titleist915D3

    Ben Carson came off as a fantastic VP and it’s too bad Huckabee is so far to the right and won’t attract independents and democrats that don’t trust Hilary because he did well in the debate

    9 years ago at 10:51 am
  6. IotaKappa771

    I’m interested that you’re voting for Raaaaaaaand. Given that he’s against a few of the policies you outlined in your previous article in this series (gay marriage, abortion). I’ll get down voted for this, but why do Republicans give a flying fuck about planned parenthood? It’s done a lot of good, chances are half of us would be dads without it.

    9 years ago at 11:01 am
  7. Troybachand

    I was reading this and wondered if Steve Holt finally made a good article but then I realized no way in hell could he have written something that was actually interesting….

    9 years ago at 11:18 am