porch drinking

Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking: Graduation Weekend

porch drinking

You did it, you beautiful bastards. All those long nights popping Adderall and abstaining from more than a six pack have paid off and you’re about to thrust yourself into the real world like a proud Diglett using Dig to incapacitate an electric type. We’re all very proud of you in the event that you picked a useful degree and not something ridiculous like journalism with a minor in anthropology. Those losers are boned. As you reflect on your many accomplishments and miscalculations which brought you to this point, you can see summer dead ahead. What better time to break out a speaker and crack open a few too many cold ones with your buddies? These are the moments that last forever and they’re on the way to becoming 40 hour weeks.

Drop your suggestion for songs in the comments below to get a shout out. Top comments will be dubbed a fan favorite (in the event that they haven’t been previously featured) and whichever track I dig the most will get an honorable mention. Let’s crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: Fins, Jimmy Buffett

Suggested by SharkWeekTFM. Get it, like a shark? A song that transcends the oceanfront and can be listened anywhere there’s cold beer, attractive women, and dudes that are trying to score.

Honorable Mention: Alive, Pearl Jam

Suggested by PearlJam20. You think you’re an Eddie Vedder fan, bro? Name his top three favorite colors and something he considers a guilty pleasure. Poser.

1. Framed, Chris Knight

This gem was tossed my way by Twitter user @JackRenfroe1. Jack is a Pisces who has never been to Spain, but has been to Oklahoma. Chris Knight has a pretty solid guitar and his backup comes in hot.

2. Hit ‘Em Up, Tupac

Let the rival house across the way hear your echoes for war and go after them like Coach Buddy Wood after a referee. Or just bool out and let an intricate lyricist regale you with some premium aged West Coast beef.

3. Summertime, Doc Watson

My personal favorite take on Doc’s classic featuring his son Merle. Missed the festival this year because school but I recommend it to anyone who likes Old Time music with a few modern names splashed in there.

4. Caress Me Down, Sublime

Between late April and mid-August ska becomes certifiably F. An unfortunate whiff from my critically claimed “Ideal Songs for Boning” playlist that really sets the mood for some romance.

5. Stomp and Holler, Hayes Carll

Great name, great song. We of the funnily spelled names have to stick together.

6. Wipe Out, The Ventures

Before you go full hardo, just listen to the track. You haven’t even realized how badly you need this song in your porch jam repertoire up until now. Big drums and great vibes for days.

7. Summer Breeze, The Isley Brothers

Speaking of vibes, let Ernie Isley take you on a fantastic journey through the strings of his guitar. The Isley Brothers had Jimi Hendrix playing lead for them at one point, but it’s tough to tell if they really lost a step when the youngest sibling picked up his own axe and went to work.

8. Vacant, The Fontaines

Some smooth Indie vibes to get you settled in and up to no good.

9. Won’t Get Fooled Again, The Who

Once The Fontaines get you good and settled, let Pete Townshend raise you up so you can rock on mountains. Like most of The Who’s stuff, it’s a long one but worth every note.

10. Champion, Kanye West

No graduation set would be complete without a song off Kanye 3 and nothing eclipses the feeling of acing that last week like this one. Revel in your victory, fellow grads, because you’re on the way to making big things happen.

Again, leave your suggestions in the comments for a shot at some love. As always, don’t drink and drive.

Check out the rest of the list on Spotify…

  1. CanadianB4C0N

    It may just be me but you can’t have any kind of send-off without Closing Time

    8 years ago at 2:45 pm
      1. YouRussianBro

        I agree with the last one, but you can’t just keep failing upwards and get upvotes, so lapped on principle.

        8 years ago at 11:18 pm
    1. thevaginator

      Fuck all of you who lapped this Mask Off is better than any of the garbage I’ve seen posted by you losers

      8 years ago at 9:36 pm
  2. thevaginator

    Dear lord Carl this is the worst one yet. Do I need to do your job for you?

    8 years ago at 6:57 pm