Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking: Graduation Weekend
You did it, you beautiful bastards. All those long nights popping Adderall and abstaining from more than a six pack have paid off and you’re about to thrust yourself into the real world like a proud Diglett using Dig to incapacitate an electric type. We’re all very proud of you in the event that you picked a useful degree and not something ridiculous like journalism with a minor in anthropology. Those losers are boned. As you reflect on your many accomplishments and miscalculations which brought you to this point, you can see summer dead ahead. What better time to break out a speaker and crack open a few too many cold ones with your buddies? These are the moments that last forever and they’re on the way to becoming 40 hour weeks.
Drop your suggestion for songs in the comments below to get a shout out. Top comments will be dubbed a fan favorite (in the event that they haven’t been previously featured) and whichever track I dig the most will get an honorable mention. Let’s crank some tunes.
Fan Favorite: Fins, Jimmy Buffett
Suggested by SharkWeekTFM. Get it, like a shark? A song that transcends the oceanfront and can be listened anywhere there’s cold beer, attractive women, and dudes that are trying to score.
Honorable Mention: Alive, Pearl Jam
Suggested by PearlJam20. You think you’re an Eddie Vedder fan, bro? Name his top three favorite colors and something he considers a guilty pleasure. Poser.
1. Framed, Chris Knight
This gem was tossed my way by Twitter user @JackRenfroe1. Jack is a Pisces who has never been to Spain, but has been to Oklahoma. Chris Knight has a pretty solid guitar and his backup comes in hot.
2. Hit ‘Em Up, Tupac
Let the rival house across the way hear your echoes for war and go after them like Coach Buddy Wood after a referee. Or just bool out and let an intricate lyricist regale you with some premium aged West Coast beef.
3. Summertime, Doc Watson
My personal favorite take on Doc’s classic featuring his son Merle. Missed the festival this year because school but I recommend it to anyone who likes Old Time music with a few modern names splashed in there.
4. Caress Me Down, Sublime
Between late April and mid-August ska becomes certifiably F. An unfortunate whiff from my critically claimed “Ideal Songs for Boning” playlist that really sets the mood for some romance.
5. Stomp and Holler, Hayes Carll
Great name, great song. We of the funnily spelled names have to stick together.
6. Wipe Out, The Ventures
Before you go full hardo, just listen to the track. You haven’t even realized how badly you need this song in your porch jam repertoire up until now. Big drums and great vibes for days.
7. Summer Breeze, The Isley Brothers
Speaking of vibes, let Ernie Isley take you on a fantastic journey through the strings of his guitar. The Isley Brothers had Jimi Hendrix playing lead for them at one point, but it’s tough to tell if they really lost a step when the youngest sibling picked up his own axe and went to work.
8. Vacant, The Fontaines
Some smooth Indie vibes to get you settled in and up to no good.
9. Won’t Get Fooled Again, The Who
Once The Fontaines get you good and settled, let Pete Townshend raise you up so you can rock on mountains. Like most of The Who’s stuff, it’s a long one but worth every note.
10. Champion, Kanye West
No graduation set would be complete without a song off Kanye 3 and nothing eclipses the feeling of acing that last week like this one. Revel in your victory, fellow grads, because you’re on the way to making big things happen.
Again, leave your suggestions in the comments for a shot at some love. As always, don’t drink and drive.
Check out the rest of the list on Spotify…

Blues just won. Listen to Little Bones by The Tragically Hip
9 years ago at 11:23 pmBlues just lost lick my butthole
9 years ago at 5:28 pmDoreen by Turnpike Troubadors
9 years ago at 11:33 pmJust saw them Friday.
9 years ago at 8:54 am*Saturday. This damn weekend was a blur.
9 years ago at 9:58 amNew Chris Stapleton album is fire just as expected. Finally a singer and amazing songwriter that brings us back to great country roots.
9 years ago at 12:47 amI get around- Tupac
9 years ago at 6:29 amI’ll agree with that. Chill oldschool rap is F
9 years ago at 11:05 amI drink alone- George Thorogood
9 years ago at 9:53 amSummer in the City – The Lovin’ Spoonful
I Ain’t Drunk – Albert Collins
That’ll put some pep in your step
9 years ago at 12:59 pmI do actually like Fins and it is F (not quite FaF because it’s about not having enough babes around!)
9 years ago at 4:12 pmThanks for the shout out!
Element : Kendrick Lamar
9 years ago at 4:28 pmHey, Karl. Has anybody mentioned Kendrick Lamar yet?
9 years ago at 6:21 pm