Ideal Songs For Spring Break Porch Drinking
Like a phoenix from the ashes, you arise from your grueling and potentially hungover week with fire in your eyes and a song in your heart. When music meets booze, there’s only one place to go and one thing to queue up. Enter the porch, man’s sanctuary from the trials and travails of life. As you oversee your kingdom, let the sounds of legends past and present wash over you. This is your time. This is porch drinking.
Leave a suggestion in the comments for a chance to be featured on the next edition. The top comment will be dubbed a fan favorite. Honorable mentions go out to whichever track I dig the most.
Let’s crank some tunes.
Fan Favorite: I Ain’t Drinking, Albert Collins
Suggested by Cartier (I think). Real next level guitar here folks. Batten down the hatches because you’re looking at a veritable tsunami of booze and panty juice to come flowing off your porch and into the streets. Bring a towel.
Honorable Mention: Rock the Boat, Hues Corporation
Suggested by DerekGeeder. I don’t care if this was a joke suggestion, the song’s going on the list. Never discount the importance of a feel good disco banger to help you bounce back from a rough week. Booze helps.
1. Pour Me a Vacation, The Great Divide
I feel bad for the landlocked folks who think being by a lake constitutes time on the water. I’ll take the deadly, shark infested dung heap we call an ocean over a nice lake full of friendly people any day. There are a lot of great vacation drinks out there, but I’ll stick with cheap Mexican beer and half off limes. I know a guy.
2. ATLiens, Outkast
If Atlanta was literally the source of all aliens I wouldn’t be even slightly surprised. Place is wild. Also, colder than a polar bear’s toe nails? That’s what the childrens call “bars”.
3. Funky Bitch, Son Seals
If you feel the need to strut, do it. Nobody will judge you except those cheesedicks across the street. Once you figure out what my man Seals is saying you’ll probably drunkenly chime in. Not for the lyrics, but for the deep guttural timbre of his voice. Dude sounds like a bear.
4. Let It Ride, Bachmann Turner Overdrive
Just answer the damn question.
5. Hip Hop Hooray, Naughty By Nature
Nothing gets the metaphorical party started like a quick “Ay-oh-ay”.
6. Santa Monica, Everclear
Like most songs from the 90s, this song is full of depressing lyrics tossed on top of upbeat guitar. None of it makes a damn bit of sense, but things aren’t supposed to make sense on the porch. They just are.
7. Órale, Los Lonely Boys
These guys are straight wizards with a guitar and they bust out a fair share of lyrical creativity. I love them and want to be their friends.
8. Get Tight, The String Cheese Incident
Band name sounds potentially dirty and so does the title of the song. Don’t worry though guys, it’s just about a swimming hole. No innuendo here.
9. Bossier City, Turnpike Troubadours
I know there are plenty of great Red Dirt artists out there, but I can’t get enough of these guys. It’s raw, it’s catchy, and it’s country. Drink your cares away with Robbie and his pill head girlfriend. The ones from the song. If you have a buddy named Robbie with a pill head girlfriend, find her some help. That being said, I think I’m higher on this song right now than either ‘7&7’ or ‘Good Lord Lorrie’ and that’s saying a lot.
10. Blue Moon of Kentucky, Bill Monroe
After a relaxing day of getting bombed on your porch, as the homies head to bed with their respective dates or hands, you might find yourself gazing at a night sky with only a lonely cigarette. At times like that, there is no song better than Blue Moon of Kentucky as written and performed LIVE by the great Bill Monroe. You’re sure to end the day with a smile in your heart.
Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to be featured on the next edition. As always, don’t drink and drive.
Check out the rest of the list on Spotify…
Let Her Cry – Hootie & The Blowfish
8 years ago at 7:38 pmPlayers Club – 4 Tay
Off topic but I saw a Russian and a SJW talk about communism. This is what the Russian had to say, pls share
Russian here. I was born in USSR, my grandpa was a KGB official and my dad was a KGB foreign advisor.
I have a message for you commietards. The “communism” you dream about will never happen.
I will tell you what will happen if a socialist revolution aka wealth redistribution will occur.
Who do you think this proletariat and “oppressed” people are? You? No. You hipster cunts are the harmful bourjois element. The true ones are the rednecks, white trash and hood rats. You hipsters may lead the revolution at the initial stages but they will be the revolutionaries and they will hate you with the strongest class-hate with all your fancy college education and ipods. Southern rednecks are more likely to form a common bond with ghetto gangs than with “intellectuals.” It has been proven many times in many lands where communism was forced, that when class warfar begins, the races and nations forget the hate and unite.
So that’s what’s gonna happen: Someone will knock at the door of your house in your nice middle class gated community. When you will open the door, you will find comissar Jamal and Comissar Cletus who will tell you that having such a big house to yourself is not what a true communist does and 2 families of hobos are moving in with you. You will be allowed to have one room, one bed and neccessary personal belongings. Everything else in the house will be shared.
The rich guys who’s money were you going to redistribute? They left the country and suddenly you realize that their money in their swiss bank accounts are unreacheable and there’s nothing to redistribute. The corporations go bankrupt, collapsing the DOW index, which makes the currency just fancy green paper worth nothing. Then you realize the US was importing food, because there wasn’t enough produced to support 300 millions of people. Important by paying with $, which is now worth nothing. Then there’s hunger. To suppress the hungry angry mob, who doesn’t give a fuck about high marxist ideals and just wants to make everything like it was before, Red Terror starts, with new NKVD and purges. Eventually, Comissar Jamal will put you on your knees and shoot you at the back of your stupid head for not being dedicated enough.
Welcome to 1917!”
8 years ago at 7:49 pm“There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe and there never will be under a Ford administration.”
8 years ago at 8:35 pmGonna just skip past reading your novel and skip to the part where I say Fuck Russia.
8 years ago at 10:14 amWhy don’t y’all put these into a Spotify playlist
8 years ago at 9:19 amMelissa by Allman Brothers
8 years ago at 10:26 amThese songs were ass.
8 years ago at 6:45 amThe Stroke – Billy Squier
8 years ago at 10:13 pmHey Karl I know im a few days late to the party on this one but this is probably one of the best porch sippin’ songs you will ever hear.
8 years ago at 9:20 pmTennessee Whiskey- Chris Stapleton version
Bad News – Whitey Morgan and the 78’s.
8 years ago at 10:39 pmIf you haven’t heard of them you’re really missing out. Great old school country vibes.