Ideal Songs For Your Independence Day Playlist
The greatest day in our greatest of nations is upon us, folks. As you celebrate your country’s independence (and the sperm of the men who brought you to this point), it is important to remember what matters most.
Partying your nuts off.
Memorial Day is a day of solemn remembrance. Flag day is a day of… flags. Independence Day? That’s a day to blow shit up, eat a bunch of meat, and drink so much that you believe that you’re actually George Washington crossing the Delaware and not a man-child fording a kiddie pool in your undies.
You need only a few things to set your 4th party off right. The aforementioned meats and booze are a given, and explosives are available anywhere they accept Bitcoin or American Express. The final pieces in your patriotic puzzles are jams so tasty that they won’t make you think twice about banging that questionable girl just because she’s wearing a red, white, and blue romper.
These are curated bangers. Not in the way hipsters curate soap carvings from death row inmates, but in the way that every single one of these songs is intended to make you feel in touch with your nation as you fingerblast someone at 3 a.m. in a Waffle House bathroom. These tunes either reference the country, are country, or will get you so hyped that the next time you bleed, your blood cells will be red, white, and dark blue. In case of the third, see a doctor.
Furthermore, all artists on this list are American except for one (I had to include “The Body Of An American” because The Wire is the greatest series ever made, plus the Irish have done their fair share for our culture). With that being said, let the eagle fly as you crack brew after brew and engage with a playlist that will elevate your independence from Taft fat to Reagan PHAT.
Do it for your country and, as always, don’t drink and drive..
I am a Shithead. Literally. When I was in the womb, my mother tried to kill me with a coat hanger. But she succeeded only in poking a hole in my head, which allowed my brains to drain out. After I was born, the doctor said that my cranium needed to be filled with something, and he figured shit was as good of a filler as any. So he inserted a plastic tube in my rectum, and put the other end of the tube into the hole in my head. For the next few years, whenever I went poopee the shit would travel through the tube to be deposited in my head. After my head was full of shit, the doctor removed the tube and patched up the hole. Being a Shithead isn’t so bad. I was accepted into FSU and I got a private dorm room since my head smells so bad that no one can stand to be around me. I am a virgin.
7 years ago at 11:29 amWhat the fuck?
7 years ago at 11:52 amTrolls getting trolled by trolls trolling other trolls.
7 years ago at 1:00 pmI just got paid $6784 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $9k her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do…
7 years ago at 5:19 pmGood Luck…………… http://www.fl-y.com/3pra
Unless your divorced friend is looking to fuck, get out bitch
7 years ago at 10:51 pmFortunate Son-Creedence Clearwater Revival
7 years ago at 11:31 amWork Remix- A$AP Ferg
7 years ago at 11:44 amPut on-Jeezy
7 years ago at 11:46 amThe star spangled banner
7 years ago at 11:48 amCourtesy of the Red, White and Blue -Toby Keith.
7 years ago at 12:27 pmIf you wanna take it one step further you can turn it into power hour using the app I built here:
7 years ago at 1:27 pmhttps://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spotifypowerhour.spotifypowerhour
Born in the USA is not a patriotic song.
7 years ago at 1:36 pmDissent in the name of bettering America is the most patriotic thing you can do.
7 years ago at 2:34 pmPretty good list, but The Hag’s “Fightin Side of Me” is missing.
7 years ago at 2:21 pmnice job with having the Pogues.
7 years ago at 2:54 pmFool yourself – little feat
7 years ago at 3:05 pm