spring break cruise

What’s Your Ideal Spring Break Vacation?

spring break cruise

With Spring Break set to kick off in less than a month for most Division I schools, anticipation is steadily building for what is sure to be another beautiful dumpster fire all across this vast nation of ours. As a sort of primer for the fast-approaching Spring Break season, I’ve asked some of our deranged writers what their ideal Spring Break vacation is like.

Dan Regester

Staying in Orlando and watching all 5 seasons of Friday Night Lights in 1 week. I guess PCB was alright, too.

Dillon Cheverere

Don’t sleep on skiing.

Jared Borislow

No.

Shitto

My ideal vacation is locking myself in a dark hotel room with my computer, a carton of Newports, and nothing else but my seething apathy.

Doctor Franzia

To my aunt’s place in Santa Monica to sit in a lawn chair until Jennifer Lawrence jogs by.

Karl Karlson

Somewhere with a hot tub. Hot tubs are tight. It’s a proven fact that hot tubs make places better. I want to buy a hot tub.

Kramer Smash

Ah well theres still an ongoing investigation from my last trip to Ocean Shitty so my counsel advised me not to talk about it.

Papa J

Can’t go wrong with Frat Lauderdale. But not remembering the cruise you were on has been the choice recently.

Srat_Bro

I didn’t live off of diet coke and cardboard for the last three months to not go somewhere with a beach. I’m drinking back the 10% of my body weight that I lost and not drinking any water so the dehydration makes me delusional enough that I’ll forget the guy I’m with hasn’t showered in 3 days. If no one gets sand in their dick the whole trip’s a bust.

WJ Cope

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve never been too hyped for Spring Break. It never quite seems to live up to expectations for me, and I always find myself enjoying Fall Break a lot more. But for the sake of this discussion, I’ll let my imagination run wild. I’m all about lake trips, so that’s where we’ll start. A full week camping on the lakefront when it’s sunny and 75 sounds perfect to me, and ideally I don’t get any sand in my dick. Shit’s like passing a goddamn kidney stone, and I wouldn’t wish it on my greatest nemesis.

Fuck what the writers think, though. What are YOU doing for Spring Break, or what would you like to do if you hadn’t gambled away all your money on the Super Bowl? Do you prefer traveling to the coast, or maybe the Rockies, or, dare I say, Shasta? Will you just be on a rum and coke bender the whole time? Let us know in the comments.

  1. AndrewsMomsAss

    Last year Andrew phoned from Panama City and said, “Mom, I’m bringing some crabs home.” We had to hose him off with Permithrin before we let him into the house!

    8 years ago at 4:31 pm
  2. GirthBrooks

    Did the whole ideal beach thing for a couple of years. Being constantly around a crowd of mostly try hard douchebags really wasn’t that fun. Would definitely rather go to the lake for a week with fraternity brothers and girls again.

    8 years ago at 4:36 pm
    1. USArmy

      +1. The beach scene for spring break is completely overrated. Go to Colorado, rent a lodge and spend the week trout fishing and drinking whiskey.

      8 years ago at 10:38 am
  3. BayBro650

    Heading down to CancĂșn would be killer. I’m too cheap so all I’m doing is a trip to Tijuana/Rosarito

    8 years ago at 5:07 pm
  4. MichaelBurry

    Something to be said for the reverse spring break. Group of your brothers and some ladies rent a house in Whistler or Utah to hit the slopes, both on and off the mountain.

    8 years ago at 5:35 pm
  5. Theregalrattle

    The fact that this wasn’t an ad for their shitty cruise was a Tarantino quality plot twist.

    8 years ago at 6:21 pm