Idiot Arrested For Felony Cocaine Possession After Attempting To Prank Cops With Powdered Sugar

Bogey Wells10 years ago

If you play stupid games, expect to be rewarded with stupid prizes.

A University of Miami student is currently awaiting arraignment on felony drug charges after a simple prank he planned on pulling during an inspection of his university owned housing went south — real far south. In fact, some speculate this prank landed somewhere near Havana.

From Miami New Times:

Last month, Jonathan Harrington thought he’d have some fun with the search. Before inspectors arrived, the 21-year-old English major left lines of white powder on the coffee table and kitchen counter, a rolled-up dollar bill, and seven white pills. Because the lines were just powdered sugar and the pills aspirin, Harrington figured everyone would get a good chuckle out of it and move on.

While it’s easy to destroy the kid in hindsight, his ability to calculate risk-to-reward is truly troubling, and needs to be addressed. Just a good laugh, right? University housing officials love a good laugh. If you ever need a few positive vibes blended into your day, be sure to stop by any university administrative office. They’re filled to the brim with the kind of people you’d love to spend eight hours a day around. The stylish clothing of the 1990s, the soulless “have a seat,” and the overwhelming smell of stale coffee make it damn near a collegiate Disney Land. So, as I was saying, there is practically no way this prank could shit the bed, the pillowcase, and even a few of the couch cushions.

Instead, Harrington ended up handcuffed, dragged to jail, and charged with felony cocaine possession.

Oh. Ha, never mind.

The inspection yielded 23.7 grams of Publix powdered sugar, which, upon the completion of a rudimentary police field test, unfathomably turned into a positive test for felony cocaine possession. While this is the horrific turning point for our not-so-intelligent prankster, it’s the hilarious turning point for the rest of us.

Harrington now faces five years in federal prison, a $5,000 fine, and suspension from the university until the tests from his pile of “coke” return from the labs and hopefully exonerate him…in a few months.

It took me a few minutes after reading this to comprehend how one individual can be so dense. How does one not have the foresight to nix a “prank” that could quite literally put your ass in federal prison? Then I honed in on three things from the article:

1. University of Miami’s dorms
2. 21-year-old
3. English major

It all makes sense..

[via Miami New Times]

Image via Thomas Eder/Shutterstock